Recently I have had suicidal thoughts as my mum is an alcoholic and lays drunk on the sofa every day. She screams at me every day for more alcohol and if she doesn't get it she goes into a fit. I hate it. My dad has huge mood swings ; one day he is kind, the next minute his face is purple in rage.. He is also an alcoholic but he has 30-60 bottles a day, not 60-120 like my mum. I am afraid it will kill her.
I am the loner in school, sits on my own in the cafeteria, at lunch hour I sit in the library alone, while I watch popular people laugh and joke with their friends. None of the teachers like me and I get teased every day because I am bad at every subject and I wear glasses, wear all the wrong clothes and my room is pink with my little ponies all over it. I hate my room and my dad said he would fix it up, make it better, but he never has bothered.
Neither of my parents care about me. I had a pet mouse called Midge but when my dad was mad he killed it. Does it get any worse?
Oh, dear Guest. I feel you so much.
How old are you? Are you a girl or a boy? I assume you're a girl... pink ponies :)
I assume you're still a teen. Is there a possibility you could get help from someone in the family? Maybe an aunt or maybe a neighbor? Someone you could spend your time with. Maybe help from the local church, if you're religious or some type of youth center? If you talk to people in school, they will probably involve social service in the story, so it is very probably that after they evaluate a situation, they will separate you from your parents, which doesn't mean it's bad, but definitely does not mean it will better either!
Things do get better, they do! Life is like a wave - it gets up and it gets down and again up and down, and up ...
And you're on the down curve right now. But it will get up. On the long run - if not sooner, when you grow up and you'll be able to take of yourself.
What are the things you like to do? Or what are the things you would love to try and are in the scope of your possibilities - either financial or physical?
So, I already know you do like animals. Yeah, I know they are many times better than people :) Maybe you could volunteer at a local shelter for animals. You could learn a lot there. Besides, you could meet a lot of great people that share the interests as you do. And maybe even someday you could earn a living from working with animals.
I would really like you to try to get some help from the local community. Either try it yourself and simply walk into a shelter or wherever you would like to volunteer and let me know what are your wishes, your thoughts, why you would like to try this.
If you are too ashamed for whatever reason, and if you don't know any youth center in your local community you could turn to, why don't you call a national suicide hotline? They are experts and they will guide you through this process:
1-800-273-TALK (8255), I think you can even chat with them online.
Please let me know if you have any questions or if you want to share your feelings with me! I would love to support you in this situation.
IT WILL GET BETTER!!!
Suffering from adult ADHD and Clinical Depression myself. And experienced all that you have. Only difference was not as severe as your experience. My Dad was a huge Alcoholic. He passed away. I think your parents do love you and they do care. I know it's tough. the Alcoholism does play a huge role in your parents behavior. I never knew my Dad Fully. But I can say this. He drank to keep his inner Desmond from haunting him. My Dad fought in the Vietnam War. I suspect he had PTSD. People who developed alcoholism drink to drown there sorrows. Please DO NOT SELF HARM or Kill yourself. It will get better. I want you to keep the link I am sending you. I'm a History Teacher. I have had to deal with a teen in a similar situation. If you find yourself spiraling out of control. TELL AN ADULT IMMEDIATELY.
Suicide Prevention Hotline
1-800-273-8255 or go to their website
You can remain anonymous. There IS HELP OUT THERE. These hotlines are staffed by teens, college aged adults. All ages all walks of life. But most importantly they have been where you are. Good Luck
Mark, thanks for sharing your thoughts with us! It means a lot to me to see someone with difficulties in the past succeed in the "adult world". You are a role model! Keep doing what you do! Thank you!