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I’m kind of in a mixed emotional sort of state, I’m 16 years of age and 20 weeks pregnant, I didn’t want the child at first but I think around 3-4 weeks later I changed my mind, and knew what I was going to do, my mother is very supportive only disappointed like any other mother would be. But she had the same experience at my age so she knows kind of how I’m feeling only different because as each individual human thinks logically different and feels different emotions. but I’m glad I have her support, on the other hand my boyfriend isn’t so supportive of course I know that there are still many thing we can do in our lives, but he’s 18 doesn’t need to worry about finishing high school and isn’t going to college/uni as he already has certificates in short courses and has a stable job with a good income. He thinks I’m destroying my life and has said some very horrible things and done very nasty things to me. but he doesn’t see my side properly, when I first found out it was in July, but I knew in may because my last period was in late April- start of May. and then I didn’t get my period in May and it arisen suspicions I thought I will wait through June and if I don’t get it I’ll take a test in July, only because in may I was going through a few stressful situations so I thought that was the cause. And in July at no surprise it came up positive. I told him first of all and then my mother. and I didn’t want it I thought no, I can’t have this child I just can’t do it, I don’t want a baby I want it out of me I want it gone. so me and my mum were supposed to schedule and abortion but my mum didn’t do it straight away so after about 3-4 weeks the appointment still wasn’t booked, and I’m glad she didn’t because I became attached to my baby (well isn’t that obvious enough the baby’s is attached to my body), but I mean emotionally attached. and I decided to tell my mother my decision and then my boyfriend and he and me have been arguing he used the "I don’t want to be with you or the ill leave you if you don’t get an abortion" I told him its okay if he does, because most young and old couples split up, whilst pregnant. And i know this isnt a fairytale and nothing lasts for ever, not even your own life. anyways he got a bit angry because i wouldn’t fall in that trap. and I told him if he want to leave me its fine because I don’t want to tolerate his behaviour. and he said that he doesn’t want his kid growing up without a father. I sort of want advice like any newly mother would, on many things from how to deal with things emotionally to what lotion to use to help prevent less stretch marks etc. I’m kind of scared as well but I have looked at everything on the negative side for the past couple of months and now I see its time to look at the bright side and stop doubting myself. And another thing the pregnancy was not planned, i was using contraception the birth control pills method.

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Hello lovely,

 

I was 16 when I had my son, I'm 24 now and my life is great. The father of my child was unsupportive too, and he too used emotional threats. At the time these bothered me, of course, he was my boyfriend. But when the baby was born I couldn't have cared less what he thought or did, I cared most for my baby and that made things easier, I didn't place so much importance on him. 

Teen parents rarely stay together, but that's not to say that you guys wont. If you two do split up like my partner and me did, it is hard at first but you very quickly get used to it, the bond between my son and I got even stronger as I only had him to focus on. So please don't worry about that side of things, always possible to have a happy ending in that respect.

As for your schooling and future career I highly recommend studying by correspondence with the help of your mother (also what I did) and keeping your mind stimulated so that you're still learning, even if that's just reading books or doing independent internet research. This helps keep your esteem up, keeps your young and very active mind happy and will help you develop a confidence in your socially unaccepted situation.

Frustrations will happen, the father may give you a lot of trouble, money might be scarce and things might look dark at times, but please just know that there are plenty of young women who have done the same as you, who love their lives regardless of struggles and who would probably wish you all the best if they knew you. I know I do, you've made a brave decision and brave decisions generally mean strength in the face of adversity in the future. So keep up that confidence, take help when you need it, have faith in yourself and keep that mother of yours in the picture for your own mental health.

The father of the child may be there and might not, but either way you're going to be okay, you'll keep breathing, your child will keep breathing and time changes so many situations.

All the very very best! 

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