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Hello there. I have problems with my son. He is only 13 years old and I can see that his behavior is so different than before. This all started to happen when he moved to another city and he needed to change his school. What I could do about it, nothing because we are 200 miles away from our old hometown. I was so scared for him and the doctor told me that there is a huge chance that he has separation anxiety disorder. What is this? What can you do about separation anxiety disorder in your child? I am desperate... 

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User avatar
Celebrity
442 posts

I am sorry to hear this. Can you explain more, what exactly is happening to your kid that a doctor was able to assume that he has problems with separation anxiety disorder? I mean, you said that he went to see his doctor, but not a physiologist? Or am I wrong? This can happen when kids have some problems in the school, with learning new things or generally problems with some kids in the school. But symptoms for this are different. So, what re the symptoms that your kid has that made you believe that something is really wrong with him? 

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No, my husband and I didn't take him to the phycologist yet, because our doctor told us that he has this whole situation under the control. And I trust him. There is no reason not to trust him, right? And the symptoms are next - he is telling us that he doesn't want to go to the school because he is sure that something bad is going to happen to him. When we ask what - he doesn't want to tell us because he doesn't know what exactly. He is scared to be alone when he wanted to send him to my sister's house to sleep, he started to cry telling us that he can't. He is scared to be away from us and that is the main reason why doctor believes that he has this issue.
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Hello. Yes, those all are symptoms of separation anxiety in children. Your son is definitely really scared to be alone anywhere or at least he is scared to be somewhere if you are not around. The doctor can tell you that he is having this, that is OK, but he can't heal your kid. That is why you need to take him to the psychologist because he is the only one who can set therapy for him. Also, this type of anxiety disorder very often develops after a significant stressful or traumatic event in the child's life. In your case, it is a changing of the environment. 

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User avatar
Activist
58 posts

My good friend's kid also had this problem. But besides all those symptoms he started to have a lot of nightmares and his parents were not able to control it. Also, he always had headaches and that was his excuse why he can't go to school.  His parents were extremely worried about him so they took him to the physiologist immediately. He told them right away that this kid has separation anxiety disorder and that they need to heal this before this becomes a really huge problem. So, he set the treatment. Psychotherapy was not successful so he continued with antidepressants. It is sad to hear that kid is taking antidepressants but it helped him....Try everything...

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I am not sure what I should do. I want the best for my kid, there is no doubt about this, but I also trust my doctor and he told me that he will try with some therapies to make him feel much better. I don't know any good psychologist in this city because I am new in here, just like my husband and our kid as well. Last night I think that he also had nightmares because he was screaming in his sleep and after that, he didn't want to sleep in his room. He was sleeping in our bed. Tonight it is OK, he is feeling OK but I can see that kid is scared as a hell and I feel so helpless in this situation.

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User avatar
Activist
58 posts

Look, I know that this is all about your kid but you need to get yourself together as soon as you can because behaving like this - that you don't know what to do, that you are scared, that you trust only one doctor - won't lead you anywhere. Instead, go tomorrow into the town and try to find a couple of physiologists. Talk to them and take your kid to them. Also, you need to know one more thing - most of the kids who are diagnosed with separation anxiety disorder get better sooner or later, although their symptoms may recur for many years, it all depends on how stressful situation is. Anyway, once treatment is started early and involves the family as well as the child, the kid has a lot of chances to get better. 

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My family was in the same situation as you are at this moment. My youngest kid, a little girl Lara (I have three more kids) had this diagnose as well. We lost our pet Bonnie, she was a dog and she was 8 years with us. A car killed our Bonni and we all were sad, but Lara was devastated. She was peeing in her bed, she was not able to sleep - nothing. I took her to the psychologist and I blamed on us because we didn't do a thing to prevent this. Then he told me that we couldn't prevent this at all. There is no known way to prevent separation anxiety disorder, but it is very important a recognizing and acting on symptoms when they appear. This can help your kid. Now, since you have noticed them, go to the doctor and let him do the rest. I am sure that your boy will be OK. My Lara is feeling much better now.

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User avatar
Celebrity
291 posts

It can be pretty nasty but it is curable, so there is no need to panic and to believe that nothing is going to be better. Because it will. Trust me. I know several cases and all of those cases finished well. According to several types of research, it is kind of normal for young children to sometimes feel worried or upset when faced with routine separations from their parents especially if they have had some hard time in their life. They can cry, they can be different, etc.  Also, the researchers have shown that approximately 4% of youth will suffer from separation anxiety disorder but it is treatable. 

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