wife thinks Masturbation is cheating on her.

louvitti · Newbie Joined: 27 Feb 2008 Posts: 2

My wife thinks Masturbation is cheating on her. She has had many types of emotion/sexual abuse, rape and intoxification rape about 27 yearsago since she was 14. Now she tells my 15 year old son that I am a pervert and it wrong to do this. She is screwing up his natural desires.

BedsonTrudeau · Moderator Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Posts: 942

My guess is you're looking for advice on this matter.

My advice is that the two of you seek counseling. If she's had abuse in the past, she obviously sees sexuality differently than you do. Why is masturbation cheating for her? Did the man/men who abused her have issues with masturbation, therefore she thinks that men who masturbate are "perverts"? This is also a strong issue for you, since you feel the need to voice it on this website.

I believe counseling will be beneficial for the two of you. It may help you with proper communication in getting to the heart of your matters.

If counseling is something you are unable to seek, I suggest you pick up the books by Dr. John Gottman, such as "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail" or "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work." He details communication styles that are positive for couples and dissects what is negative and what it can do. You may find his advice beneficial, as well.

scshogirl · Newbie Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 62

I agree you and especially your wife need counseling because she is not over her rapes and abuse. But she definately does NOT need to drag your children into this.

wife thinks Masturbation is cheating on her.

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