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It sounds like you have pilimultigemini; which is when a large number of hairs grow out of a single follicular sheath. I have this too and it is extremely itchy when the hairs are trying to push through the skin. Under a 100X lens they look like small paintbrushes. This post is over 1 year old, but am writing a response in the event that anyone else is having the same issue. Furthermore, pinworms are EXTREMELY itchy and come directly out of anus. They are COMPLETELY clear/translucent and tiny but visible to naked eye. Their bodies DO NOT branch out in the way in which the things you removed from your skin did.
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Well, isn't this just lovely?

As if I wasn't self-conscious enough already. Lol. Good heavens.

I first posted something about this about five years ago and could not find one human being on earth who described anything like this. Now all of a sudden I searched again- probably used a different sequence of search terms- and bam. Here you all are.

Thank God. Really. I thought I was the only one on earth with this. AND ITS SO WEEEEIIIRRRDDDAH.

Anal blackheads. Clogged ass-pores. Sebum and/or something like (I assume) smegma, and/or just general betrayal by my freakin private parts, RIGHT when the love of my life is suddenly infatuated my anus.

Exact same details as everyone else, with some more refined details for the poor sap out there who who searches for this because he pinches something that kind of itches "down there" while watching Antiques Roadshow alone in a hotel after a long flight and discoveres this whole new and exciting chapter of his life.

So...

Staring at shoes now...

"Please tell us more, bewildered mystery gentleman." Why of course. Why wouldn't I.

As of this writing I am 53, Western European American, male, athletic, but also sit a lot for my job. I discovered this almost ten years ago (in aforementioned hotel room.), and it remains at the exact same state as is described in other places, as it was upon discovery; felt a little very mildly irritated bump near my normally delightfully trouble-free exhaust port, pinched it because it felt a little like a zit, and was rewarded with a tiny 'little something' resembling a partially cooked grain of brown rice, which caused me, a pretty masculine "Astronaut Matt Mason" looking guy to scream a little like a girl. Not a scream exactly, but a little like Nathan Lane in the Birdcage.

Of course I smelled it. I can't believe you'd even ask that.

It doesn't, I repeat, does not smell like poo. It kind of smells like my horse. Earthy but not unhealthy. Normal. That's all I can say. (Nothing infected or like I'm dying.) Don't get me wrong- IT FREAKS ME OUT... but I'm pretty sure it's not anything serious.

A few more notes:
-I'm a sweater. ( no, not like a cardigan...) I sweat a lot.
-And my family has big pores. I mean like you can see them clearly. (Don't worry, I'm still gorgeous.) :D
-I eat very healthily; yogurt and at least two cups of oatmeal every single day, a lot of salads, greens, fruits, animal proteins. (Because human beings are designed to eat animals to be healthy. Like many many other animals. Hello.)
-The most heterosexual man you have ever met. (Yes, I'm sure. Trust me.)
-I am VERY clean. I'm hairy (not like lumberjack/bear hairy, but probably something like Sam Shepard hairy, you know, sort of mid-hairy), so I have to be. I clean like a raccoon after I hit the John. There could be a link to aggressive cleaning. But I gotta. Hairy butt. Gotta do it.

So there it is. It's harmless. I swear I think God just gave it to me to keep me humble.

I don't know, man.

Anyway, maybe one of us will market a cream that will rid the world of these disgusting little things. But in the meantime, the great news is that hardly anyone sees your most private or private places except someone who really loves you, and she doesn't seem to notice or care.

;)

God is good.
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Best post ever!
Yea, I've not been successful getting good answers. I have been successful in training my spouse to conduct the "as needed" harvest.
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The ones I have doesn't look like a blackhead when I squeeze mine just white chocky stuff comes not like wet but a dry kinda chock weird
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I Googled clogged pores because i was looking and they look like white bumps.i used a bright light and a magnification mirror otherwise i wouldn't be able to see them..but i can see its a pore..never a black tip but they come out just like when you squeeze your nose..and the my hygiene was that bad..but iv been washing with a cloth and seems to help but not completely..i do have a hemorrhoid..maby it has something to do with it..
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UPDATE ON DIY treatment: OK Guys, looks like this remains in the What Da Heck is going on....

So... what cuts grease? Dawn dishwashing liquid. All last week I lathered the Southern Entrance with Dawn, and just let it sit while I washed everything else. In just a few days , sizeable difference in available rice waxy blackheads !!!!!
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Bewildered mystery gentleman. That was probably the best response I've ever seen. Thanks for the insight into your life and how you discovered your little friends. My story is hardly that exciting :-( loved it.
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I agree with you. I just discovered this. I'm a woman. I'm not a doctor but I don't see any hair follicle connection. I believe it just "anal black heads/white heads". Now, the question is can they be removed or is it better to leave them alone. I think they must be cleaned out to avoid a future infection.
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Try the dawn dishwashing. I apply a dime size on tips of my fingers and breifly run finger clockwise and couterclickwise with my top on my nail applying pressure. Then i let it sit while i shave, brush teeth. The i start my body cleanse from top down. By the time in to my southern sections, i continue my wash riutine as normal down legs to feet. I DO SPEND A LITTLE EXTRA TIME MAKING SURE SLL THE SOAP IS GONE since its a degreaser. Daily with one week almost eradicated. Now i do one every 2 weeks as maintanence.
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Have had these over a few years. After removing I use an antibiotic to be sure no infection follows. Thinking back began seeing them when I started using "soft Charmin" wonder if the fibers is causing a problem? will switch and try another brand and see if that is a contributor. Also started seeing them when I got a job sitting all the time. It may be a wax build up due to heat and lack of good blood flow through the lower extremity of the body. I agree have searched before and no one would talk about it LOL.
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Yeah I’m sure she’d love to go out with you that. Too bad about that rule. There is a dating site though for women seeking a 30-year age difference with men whose assholes are covered in blackheads. Let us know.

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Hopefully you didn't pinch out a loaf too.
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