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I turned 13 in July and he just turned 16 this month. Been dating 9 months and 14 days. He is has recently started asking me to lose my virginity to him. I've told him no millions of times because I'm not stupid and wouldn't do that especially my age. I am a redhead so he tries to make me feel like I'm not living up to what's expected of redheads. With the stereotype of redheads being the most sexually active and being the most into. I guess trying to pressure me into having sex with him since not being "redhead standard".I don't know how to explain that it's not going to happen an in other way to get it through his head. Or should just let the comment go by when he brings it up.?


Hi Abby,

Stereotype or not, he wants sex.  He's probably hearing rumors that his friends are having sex so feels "left out."  

You won't like this but ask yourself, why is a 16 year old dating a 13 year old?  He's likely in a different school, has different friends, will be leaving for college in two years while you'll be in high school.  He wants sex, that's it.  He's older, he thinks you'll give in to his "charms."

Move on.  Find someone nearer your own age.

I can guarantee, if you do have sex with him, that he will probably leave you shortly thereafter.  

For you, once you have sex it's harder to say "no."  You'll have a reputation - he WILL tell his friends.  Other guys will want the same.  It will also change your relationship.  You'll become more "attached" but he may grow to resent that.  

Love and sex are not the same thing.  Sex can be an important part of your relationship but it needs to be on solid grounds first - he needs to respect your wishes too.  

Hope it helps.



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Health Ace
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Tell him he's not living up to the "boyfriend standard". If he was really your boyfriend he wouldn't be pressuring you. As Dan says, after he gets it your relationship will change and most likely he will be gone. For sure you will get the "redhead" reputation he says you don't have. He will most certainly tell all his friends about his conquest and they will tell everyone they know.

About the 16 to 13 thing, that's a huge difference at your age. Think about how different you are now compared to when you were 10 or 11. Please do not give in to him.