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Wow your really going to send her off still after everything. Well all I can say is I wish you the best and I hope you have no regrets
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I thought the exact same thing teenmom17!

I just don't understand the reasoning for it. Is there more going on that what your telling us? I know were not in your shoes, and being a single mom sounds really tough, but if you need some support on what to do on the situation, there are people that can help you.

I don't mean to speak for everyone but I think were all just kind of frustrated, because we've all been on the other side of it, and it wasn't good for any of us and hurt us a lot. It made our lives more difficult not having any support. And we want so bad for you and your daughter to not have to experience the things we have, and for it to work out for you both for the better, with as little hurt as possible for you both. And for you to continue to have a great relationship with your daughter, and for you not to lose her, and for her not to lose you. And I find it kind of ironic that you came onto this site looking for support, and we've all shared our experiences with you in hopes you can take something from them and learn from them. And yet, I feel as though you haven't. Its the same with you and your daughter, you guided her and taught her what to do and shared your experiences with her in hope she can take something from it and learn from it, and yet she chose to have sex. Its no different in my opinion.

From what you've shared, I think your daughter loves you a lot and looks up to you and appreciates you. She trusted you and told you the truth, which she didn't have to do. But she did and was honest with you. I agree that taking her to the doctor may be a good thing, so that if she chooses to have sex again, she can do so safely. But the boarding school thing, sounds a little harsh. I also just hope you realize, that she can still have sex while away at boarding school. When there's a will, there's a way.

I just hope that if this is really what you decide to do, that worse things don't come out of it. I hope you can prove us wrong, and who knows, maybe great things will come out of it, but I'm not feeling so confident your going to get out of it what you are hoping for.

I hope you really think things through, and talk with your daughter. Decide whats best for the both of you together. Ask what shes feeling and what she needs from you. And you can do the same. I just don't want for you guys, what I have now. And it isn't very much, and I'm trying to hold onto everything I have. I couldn't go to my parents, the way your daughter has with you. And even I don't think my parents would have sent me away if they knew I had sex.

Really take time with your decision, and think about what you want for you and your daughter, as this can change things forever. I too hope nothing but the best for you both.
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What I originially wrote the other day, got lost in the black hole of the internet, BUT what I'm about to say is STILL the same!

I have tried to understand your thinking - as I've been through the same hurt etc. - BUT now I think this is WAY deeper than her just loosing her virginity! I think there is a LOT going on here, that we are not aware of! In many cases, young girls - myself included - reach out for comfort from others that they aren't getting at home! And even though she sucumbed to teenage pressure, I also think she was romanticising the act as "love" I have to agree with Claire and Teenmom that this is WAY out there with just getting rid of her - for someone else to raise! Do our children always make the best decisions? NO WAY! Do we have to suck it up and forgive and still love them? DAMN RIGHT! And even though I have been very supportive of your pain, I do NOT get how you can throw her away!

This is NOT about you anymore, it's about a young girl - YOUR daughter - that you are basically telling she can NOT screw up under ANY circumstances! And you are punishing her for life for one DUMB mistake! I have counselled MANY young girls and boys through out the years, who have been treated terriblly by their parents. I'm not saying I am without my faults as a parent, BUT my children know EVERY day that I LOVE them, that they ARE allowed to make mistakes and HAVE to own those mistakes and move on! I came from a horrible loveless childhood, that will NOT be repeated with my children! And when I think back about the mistakes I made - infront of my parents - and the mistakes I made that they never knew about! I am surprised I am still alive! You are pushing away your daughter and NOT loving her - just like my mother did to me! And the consequences of you NOT LOVING your daughter will be felt for decades to come!

I can NOT agree with how you are handling this, and this poor girl must be in UNTOLERABLE pain from your persecution of her! And you are pushing her into reaching out for some sort of love - as I did - that is detrimental to her and her future! She WILL end up at the wrong end of someones pressure and this is NOT her fault - it will be yours! For giving her NO option but to reach out for some sort of attention! An old friend of mine became a prostitute at 17 because of her family shunning her - she reached out to a guy that told her he loved her and how pretty she was etc etc etc. And WHAM all of a sudden she was his slave and then on the streets working for him!

You've been there, wasn't that great was it? So IF you love your daughter and I REALLY mean IF you do, then WHY would you be pushing her to that life right now!? You don't get to parent all over again, you will and have failed, as does she, BUT what she did was NOT against you and was NOT a personal attack on you! BUT what you are doing to her IS and it is cruel!

I have a feeling your mind was made up the day you came on here! And I was hoping that ALL of what we have had to say - from several view points - would make you more humble and forgiving. IF your daughter ends up like my friend or any of the countless other forgotten girls in this world, it will ALL be on your shoulders! Parents lead by example, and for you NOT to forgive her or to love her through this time and take her to a gynecologist at 13 and force her to be on the pill - basically saying "You are a w**** and I don't trust you so here, "Go for it"" She need guidance, not a childish maneuvre to say "Well if you wanna play grown up, here's birth control, I don't care and Oh you will moving out!" I think is irresponsible to the 9th degree! And hopefully you don't end up reaping what you sow! :'(
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Well she is still your daughter even if she is sexually active .. It doesnt change her, just proves that she is growing and making her own decisions .. Why would you want too abandon her just because se TRUSTED you and told you, many don't tell anyone. She still needs you as a mother you should still care about her.
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a duh? most year olds are sexually active.
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Don't Question "Why is god doing this to me" If you really think about it god has gave you more then you just done. You're just re-paying him with a tiny reward. He gave you a girl. He can do what he wants with that girl. He made you. If you really do hate god then give the life back to him if you don't want it. You know why this is going against you! have you noticed something? all the proof is coming that islam is real and it is coming from YouTube and every way. If Islam isn't true? how are you alive? from Idols? Jesus that some people believe believes in Islam himself. He never mentioned he was god people just said it out like that. You know who gave you such a high degree? God. The thing is, If you really do care for your daughter. Then show that to Allah. Convert to Islam and make dua. It's your only hope. Try it once. If this way did work, Then islam is the true thing you should follow. This is no spam, This goes to everyone. I'm only 14 years old. You know where I got all my education from to help you? from Allah. Please accept this. I'm trying to help you in my best way. Take an advice from me please just try it

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I will love to have sexy
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I will have sex with her
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Ok. Listen. I'm 13. Yes. And I'm a young teenage girl who is curious and has plenty of hormones running around inside of me. I think its an aweful thing for you to say that you want to leave your 'no longer daughter' just because she's growing up! It's something that happens to everyone, didnt you say yourself that you had her when you were only a teenager. i personally think it's quite hypocritical of you to say that she is no longer your daughter because she is sexually active at such a young age, and yes i agree with you there, she shouldn't be having sex at that age, i know i would never do that but dont you wonder where she got it from? I'm just stating the truth. I think you may be over reacting a bit by saying she is no longer your daughter. Just please take this advice because i know i would be absuloutly distraught to lose my mother over such a stupid thing, maybe you should take to her about it, that's what I would do if i were you, and thats what i would rather if i were her. Thanx :) i hope your not offended by my opinion its just what i think is right.
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wonderful reply and advice. Great response. I agree with this whole heartedly
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