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While I agree completely with every thought on here, I must say I'm not lacking in the self-confidence department, and I doubt too many of the women on here are. I think parents are the biggest positive influence. Katt - you would be very surprised (as I was) at how low the self esteem of RR wimmins is, particularly when relating to their physicality. I was shocked at how many wimmins sent me emails re. my struggle post that they, too had struggled with eating disorders, which is symptomatic of low physical self esteem. It was an eye opener for me. I don't think there is a difference between men and women with self esteem. The problem is men with low self esteem can still be big brutes and just sheer size and being a SOB gets them through life well enough to earn a living, cohort with buddies and generally get the nod from much of society that they're okay. But women on the other hand are not able to brutalize their way day to day and cover up their low self esteem. I disagree, but from personal experience. I was the biggest and tallest until well until eighth grade, and I was the bully who stole lunch money, beat the little annoying kids up, and terrorized all others. Mostly because my brothers terrorized me at home (even though they were smaller), but also because I was made fun of by my peers for my domineering size. So big dominating size doesn't mean jack sh!t in the esteem game. My opinion? Women are judged much more harshly than men, for many reasons, and with many more qualifiers. So to fall short on any is a huge "societal faux pas", passed onto the women, and they feel responsible for carrying on the ideal. Men are more f--k you in nature, and therefore don't care to follow societal norms, albeit on significantly less levels than wimmins, hence less esteem problems.
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I can't say that I agree with this... IMHO, perception is 90% of reality most of the time. I also don't think that society dictates what women should act. It is how women react & interept to society's pressures that is key here.
At least that's my 2 cents.
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True dat. Often a confident woman is labeled a b!tch.
But you? Intimidating? Since when is sweetness equivalent to intimidation? :shrug:
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I can't say that I agree with this... IMHO, perception is 90% of reality most of the time. I also don't think that society dictates what women should act. It is how women react & interept to society's pressures that is key here.
At least that's my 2 cents.
I know things come across witchy over the internet at times, and I am really, really not wanting to come across that way, so I'm posting this disclaimer that I say this with the utmost respect and am not trying to pick a fight but further a discussion:
I think that 90% of perception is that person's concept of reality...not necessarily true reality.
I think we're drawn to certain types of people, or due to our circumstances see traits in others that we've been conditioned to see. I tend to hang around with gutsy, confident women. Like my friend, Kendra, who was in severe pain during the marathon, but gutted it through. (she still denies her pain was bad, yet she whimpered when she ran) For her, the pain was a temporary thing, she wanted to finish. My family is full of women like that. My grandmothers have college degrees, something almost unheard of in the very early 1900's. Since I grew up surrounded with women like that, maybe those are the traits I see, and don't pay attention to other signs.
Just my take on things.
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I disagree, but from personal experience. I was the biggest and tallest until well until eighth grade, and I was the bully who stole lunch money, beat the little annoying kids up, and terrorized all others. Mostly because my brothers terrorized me at home (even though they were smaller), but also because I was made fun of by my peers for my domineering size. So big dominating size doesn't mean jack sh!t in the esteem game.
My point about size was that some men, being bigger on average than most women, are often able to use their size as a physical advantage to cover up for self esteem issues. I'm not saying all big guys have esteem issues, but rather, big guys with esteem issues can often use that size as a front, whereas women don't have that option.
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I suspect that many men may have self esteem issues in one sense or another. These issues may be different in nature from the wimmins because we have different expectations placed upon us, but part of that expectation is that we don't let anyone know about the issues. It's not "manly", whatever the blue hell that is.

Or maybe i just have more than my fair share, i don't know.
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