20 5/325 Norco a day Withdrawal

I am on 5/325 Norco for Spine and Neck Pain. Legitimately prescribed from my neurosurgeon for pain. I get 180 a week.

I have been on Norco/Vicodin/Lortab etc for almost 2 years now.

Currently I have been taking between 18-22 5/325 Norco a day. Yes, for pain but obviously with this do it myself dosage it's also just for the benefit of euphoria. It has gotten out of control. I usually don't even know how many I take. All I know is I had a bottle of 45 on Friday midday filled and now I have none.

I had my last four last night about 10:00pm. I am currently in Hell, Hell that includes pain both physical and mental. It SUCKS!

Every part of my body hurts and burns on a scale of 10. My back feels like it is breaking from the outside in. My head hurts, my bones in my hand are in excruciating pain just typing this. I am sweating and then I start freezing. I feel like the back of my neck is so tense that it's going to some off. I want to sleep but I am wide awake. I am so blurry and unfocused that I am chugging Cherry Coke trying to "wake up." Is this what slowly dying feel like?

I am well aware NOW that the pills don't get me high anymore, they just make me feel functional. I am up to five pills at a time and I know soon it will go up. That scares me. I can't keep doing this.

I purposely didn't get a refill yesterday so I could get "clean" and start to wean off them and go back to two every four hours. Haha. Is this even possible? How do people do that?!

I have taken 8 Loperamide  and two Dayquil to try to ease the pain and trick my body into feeling better. getting any benzo for anxiety is not possible. Any other ideas and things I can do to ease this Hell?

Also any info on weaning myself down tomorrow when I refill AND info on self control. Not letting the drug trick me into thinking, "Just a couple more and you'll feel great."

Thanks.