lamactil withdrawal

Hi, I've been on lamictal now for 16 years, since the end of 1996. I use it for Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy. I'm on 500mg daily and recently in conjunction with 10mg of Frisium daily as well. I have read a lot of the side effects that people seem to have on it, however, I've not experienced many of them and if I have, they have not impacted my life at all. It's been a really good drug for me and I hope it works just as well for your son.

I recently lost my insurance so I cannot afford to go to the doctor to renew my medications.  I have emailed the doctor to tell her that I lost my insurance and to please help me because I am scared.  I am currently going "cold-turkey" from Lamictal, Effexor and Klonopin.  I'm scared.  I don't want to die, but how else will this go away?  I have gone without Effexor for a few days before, but never like this.  I know that "brain zaps" have to be from the Effexor.  The Lamictal withdrawal is what is so scary.  I keep losing time.  I find myself some place and I don't remember why I was there or how long I was there.  Just, completely confused.  I shoplifted at a Walmart and got caught and they were yelling at me asking me questions that I just couldn't answer.  I am a logical and highly educated person--I've never participated in any such horrible behaviors.  They asked me how long I had been in the store--I couldn't remember.  They went through my wallet and read my personal documents and receipts that I collect as part of my OCD and they took them from me and did not give them back.  So, now I have pulled all the skin off my fingers with tweezers trying to figure out what is happening to me.  3 or 4 days prior my mom called police because she thought I was going to kill myself.  I don't want to die, but I'm so scared.  Headaches, sounds, hallucinations, loss of time and pure disgust and shame.  I don't even recognize myself.  I don't understand my horrible and unacceptable behavior.  I'm so ashamed and embarrassed.  I'm all alone.  I am literally ruining my life.  All my years of education and hard work are getting flushed down the toilet and it's like I don't know who I am or why I can't remember doing things or why I'm doing them.  This shouldn't be allowed to happen to people.  I can't function at a reasonable level at all.  I know this is not who I am and I'm not insane.  The meds are evil.  I know there is no excuse for my poor behavior, but I honestly don't know what is happening to me.  I'm so disoriented. I'm confused. I end up places or wondering around and I don't remember getting there or why I went there.  I swear, I'm not crazy.  These meds are going to kill me.  I'm a grown woman, but obviously I need a babysitter or to be restrained because of my bad behavior and thoughts of suicide just to make all the bad go away.