Can I die from taking as much Benadryl as I do?

I don't know of anyone else who has ever been addicted to Benadryl, but I am. I don't believe I am physically addicted, because I don't think that's even possible with this drug, but psychologically I am very dependent on it. I'm 41 years old and have been taking it every day just about since I was 13 years old, except that I totally quit both times I was pregnant and for a year after each of my children were born. In fact, even as a little child I was taking it, because I remember my mom giving me Benadryl to put me to sleep every night. For quite a while I was taking about 18 tablets (25 mg. each) every 4 hours on a daily basis. Which is around or close to 100 pills a day. I remember looking at my feet and they were bluish and mottled. I had a very scary time one night when I felt really really strange and I was sure I was about to die. It scared me so much I tried to quit and did for several months but I am back on it and have been for 2 or 3 years since that night. Now,  though, I am more cautious. I take only 9 at a time now and I wait 6 hours between doses instead of 4. I am, however, also taking Zoloft and Buspar every day, too. I always thought, well, I used to take 18 at a time every 4 hours every day, and I was fine. I never died. I was never even rendered unconscious. But my family is worried about me. They all tell me if I don;t stop I will die. My question is, is that possible? I was on other additional medicine the whole time I was taking the higher doses of Benadryl, every day. so the Zoloft and Buspar I'm on now I don't think make much difference. It just seems to me that if I took so many before so often to such a high degree, it's pretty unlikely taking 9 every 6 hours will do me in. It's obviously a serious problem and I do want to stop, but should I be afraid of actual death in the process? I want to cut down gradually. If 18 didn't kill me before, could taking 9 of them now cause me to die? It doesn't seem like it because I wait a full 6 hours now before taking more, to be extra sure the last dose is out of my system. Are medications completely eliminated within the amount of time the package says to wait between doses or can it have a residual effect in the body? Any answers are greatly appreciated.