I was on Vyvanse (amphedamine) and Klonopin (sedative) at the same time for last 8 months per orders of my old pdoc. I met with a new pdoc last Tuesday because my current one is a quack for putting me on an amphedamine and sedative at the same time in the first place.
I told her the Klonopin wasn't working and the Vyvanse I thought was adding to my anxiety so she told me to stop taking the Vyvanse (I had been on 30mg for a week, down from the 70 I was taking before) cold turkey since my dosage was low enough and to replace the Klonopin (1 mg twice a day, three times if needed) with Xanax (.5 mg three times a day as needed).
So after stopping the Vyvanse (speed) I didn't feel as anxious the day after I met with my new doc so I didn't take any Xanax. Same thing Thursday, Friday and Saturday but some side effects started hitting me. Upset stomach started it off but that ended but Saturday night I had a horrible headache and yesterday (Sunday) my anxiety was really high.
This morning (Monday) I woke up and was sweating through the sheets, afraid to get out of bed and nearly had a panic attack. I actually had brief suicidal thoughts for the first time in a long time.
I took my first Xanax last night a couple hours before bed but having read up about these Benzodiazepines (Klonopin and Xanax) they have horrible withdrawal symptoms which can lead to hopelessness, bad headaches, suicidal ideation, etc.
I called and left a message for my pdoc today so she'll call me back later. I told her I want to go back on the Klonopin and then taper off it very slowly until I'm done with it and not replace it with another Benzo. I then took a 1mg Klonopin and it calmed me but this morning was so scary I am traumatized by it. I'm afraid I will feel that way again tomorrow and so on.
I thought I was doing okay. I thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel but now I've taken a huge step back because of this withdrawal and it scares the heck out of me.
I've tried to explain my fear and anxiety with my wife but I am not feeling the compassion I need. That could be the effects of the withdrawal as well (i.e. her compassion won't be enough because of my high expectations) so I'd really like some people to talk to.
My Yahoo instant messenger is mjfarrell5959 if anyone wants to chat and any response to this post from people who have gone off this awful stuff before would help as well.
I am at a point where I feel that only those of us going through it can help each other GET through it.
Since I am also suffering from Chronic Lyme disease, and am too old to figure these things out, I am hoping that someone will set up a web page/forum/whatever for us all.
Decades ago, there was a book published by a big time TV producer describing the 6 months of hell she went through from being taken of high doses of Valium.... Klonopin withdrawal makes that look like a cake-walk. This should be 60 Minutes or something....
God help us all, and hang in!! We all feel alone and the 'only one' going through it, but there are a LOT of us....
I see you wrote this four years ago. Did you get off the Benzos??
I went through a nightmarish withdrawal from Klonopin several months ago and now am attempting a SLOW taper off of Xanax XR.
So far, so good...of course it's been only 1 day since my first taper dose, but I want to be as positive as I can be. Thinking of my cold turkey off of K-pin has left an indelible impression on me. I was SO scared - of practically everything...making a sandwich seemed like I was working on a solution to keep the world from being blown to bits by hovering aliens. Not really, just wanted to give a sense of how the simplest task felt monumentally hard and terrifying.
Let me know how you're doing these days.
I have been on 2mgs of klonopin for 3 years now. I ran out today after the fax the pharmacy sent didn't get a reply. Now I have nothing till Monday. So 3 or more days without. I've had this problem before. And I know what I'm gonna go through. This sucks. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm also on 20 mgs propranolol for anxiety and remeron (mirtazapine). This is gonna hurt. And I have insomnia as it is. Even on klonopin. I wish there was something over the counter that would help, but yeah right. Plus, I've got the flu. I take klonopin for anxiety, but also for a muscle condition. I'm not posting this to complain. I'm scared. I know what happened before with withdrawal from klonopin, and I just don't want this life right now.
My names Amber & i'm 25 years old. I was diagnosed with MDD several years ago but in January of 2012 had to find more artillery to take into battle. I now had anxiety to fight, too.
My CZD story:
January(second week): I started on 0.5mg of Clonazepam 1-2 times a day.
Feb - March: Only "as needed" basis. Same dosage.
April - Beginning of June: didn't take it/need it. No withdrawals and able to sleep.
June - July: 1mg "as needed". Quantity: 30.
August, September and November: 1-2mg every night for sleep. Quantity: 30.
I haven't had my Clonazepam since Sunday October 28th(8 days tomorrow Sunday Nov. 4). I've had severe and terrible headaches for the past 5 days. All my symptoms are migraine/cold-like: Nauseous, chills, sweats while I sleep, dizzy spells &/or feeling light-headed, and terrible headaches. Seriously awful, migraine headaches. I thought this was due to wearing the same contacts for a month now(change every "2 weeks") until a family member/close friend mentioned that it could be a withdrawal; I was baffled. I couldn't believe it - he was right.
Now that I recognize what i'm going through, that it is in fact a withdrawal, I'm taking the appropriate actions.
1. I'm going to slowly withdrawal myself. No matter what. Insomnia, and headaches can come. If it's this bad now, it'll only be worse - symptoms emphasized if I continue the same dosage.
2. Speak with my Doctor about a plan of slowly taking me off.
3. Not to feel guilty and seek support.
4. Take good care of my entire self; mind, body, heart and soul.
I've never been addicted to anything in my life. I don't drink, no recreational drugs, and I won't touch any medication unless absolutely necessary. Consequently, it's really hard to accept that I've formed an addiction and that so many months have passed so very quickly. I honestly feel like a failure, and at the same time, feel an overwhelming sense of strength from within. My ex became an alcoholic after witnessing his close friend commit suicide in front of him via a gunshot to his head(if one can imagine). His peace was alcohol, and mine, is/was Clonazepam. I never understood what he felt, or what he went through, until recently. .
In recent weeks, I had taken notice that I was seemingly falling in the same(or similar) pattern as he was: drowning myself in music, laying in bed all day, isolation. Wanting to be alone and yet feeling so incredibly a lone; oxymoron to say the least. Oh, feelings of melancholy and the evil, debilitating depression.
As night approaches, anxiety and death haunt me. It's Clonazepam that allows my eyelids to close, and rest to ensue. Night in particular for myself is the worst. It's when all the thoughts, all the anxiety & all the dark things come. It's when I seek to look past the fear of death and into the light of peace.
After losing my best friend of 20+ years to suicide, my family life unstable, miscarrying and my ex(father of the baby), also leaving me, I needed homeostasis; I needed balance that I wasn't able to find on my own with all that had happened. I had no best friend, as I just lost my only two, thus my heart was aching. . . .severely. I needed rest, I needed peace & I needed time to find a path to . . heal. This is exactly what this medication has allowed me to do. It's truly a magnificent drug when used properly and knowing when to "ween" oneself off of it. I find myself wondering if we know when we're addicted? I was and had no idea. Such as my severe headaches and symptoms, I naturally thought it was eye strain from my contacts and was, thankfully, corrected. I thank my friend for allowing me to recognize something I wasn't even aware of.
I honestly can't express nor find any word(s) that would sincerely allow one to fathom what pain and despair I felt, and in truth, still feel. To fathom is for one to have experienced all the emotions for oneself. It's like I was covering an infection(pain) with a sense of peace/coping(clonazepam). It got me through the night, through the day. It made everything okay, liveable. It was my oxygen that kept me breathing, as all I seemed to yearn for was Carbon Dioxide(death).
I know that my pain isn't as bad as it was 11 months ago but it's still excruciating to wake up, to get through the day, to find reason, to find strength. However, 11 months have passed, and realization of addiction has set in, thus it's time for me to get through the withdrawal that comes and find my own, natural "coping skills".
It was my lifesaver while I felt myself drowning in an ocean of ice-cold water with nothing else in sight. It kept me afloat, and has for all of this time. It's truly a gift to have medication available that can help one find an escape and peace through life-changing/altering events where we feel nothing but hopelessness, pain, fear, anxiety.
I hope this helps someone who is in a similar situation. Never ever give up faith or hope. I strive through the battle of death and anxiety every day. .
From someone who never thought they'd be addicted to anything,
i have been on 4mg of clonazepam for the last 6 years, some times the doseage has been higher. i have gone cold turkey and the withdrwls are nasty, im to scared to ever take clonazepam again, i am suffering extreme night time sweats having to change my clothes upto 4 times a night as i am soaked. it has been 12 weeks now and im over the sweating and not sleeping, is any one else having this problem?
Thanks for the post!
Heres my experience, strength and hope for you.Understand that you are not gonna die.Its gonna be the hardest thing you've ever done.But you will get through this, you just gotta get to the light at the end of the tunnel. Klonopin is the devils jewels for real man. I took Klonopin for a year and at the very end which was today, FINALLY, i feel like myself, actually even stronger since I survived the hell that comes with the withdrawals. I went on a bender and ate 60 .05's in 4 days with no taper and no back up drugs. Very stupid and I paid a fierce price for it. For me, the first few days are great when I stopped. But by the 3rd day I knew I wass fooked and started to shake so bad, back pains, migraines,the poops,loss of appetite,loss of vision, loss of concentration,irritable/discontent, insominia, pins/needles and my lips would go numb. I really wasnt aware of tapering and paid the piper for it.
What helped me back to reality was drinking warm tea, eating plenty of fruit and Tylenol PM. Of course what also helped was my wife calling me a p**** which was uncool at the time because she wasn't going through what we all know is puer hell. BUt her boldness knudged me forward.I was all set up for detox and they refused to admit me and sent me to the psyc ward which I wasnt down with. I decided at that point I was gonna do it my way at home. Man it was tough dudes. Words can only describe so much, the rest was disconbobulating.
Today is day 8 and I'm about 90% back and feel stronger after the horrid nightmare I went through. It would be one hell of a way to torture someone. So my advice to anyone going through this I say KEEP IN THE FIREFIGHT! It goes away!! You just cant let it beat you. Stay strong and dont hesitate to get on your knees and pray!!
Hi Ember I was on Xanax for years then wanted off. I have anxiety, fibromylagia is why this all started. I was just on Effexor xr for a month then put me on klonopin take place of xanax I want off all as not really making me feel better and so just want off . Stopped the effexor xr and am tapering the klonopin muscle spasms heart pounding, very terrible. No it is not that you are complaining at all it is very scary. I hope you will get the klonopin soon and then taper off as no matter what it is going to be better in long run if you can. I will pray that all of us can get through this and know now who ever is not on anything it is for the best.
I know that feeling.....Out of body or something....plus all the physical stuff!!! Cold turkey is hell!!!!