Hello Everyone,
Karin, I am so sorry you had to experience what you did during your exam. I think that was one reason I tried to find a female doctor after leaving my first one. He seemed to have no compassion whatsoever. You should have been told everything beforehand, and he should have known more about you before just plowing ahead. I went to 2 other specialists for opinions and after waiting months I could tell they hadn't looked at my records and only after mentioning some things did they take a few minutes and skim my record. There's no feeling that they care about what happens to you at all. After one barium enema I was in tears. They had water just pouring out everywhere on the table and I was cold and totally wet, as if I'd had a bath. I had to make a special request to talk to the guys in charge to get any kind of explanation to what they had found.
I would write letters if you feel they would help. I've complained to the Medical Licensure Board, and although they might not lose their license, it's one more compaint in their file, or nail on their coffin, whichever picture works best!!
I do occasionally worry that I might still have the fistula. I was checking out my vagina at one point and found that there was something there that I had not ever noticed. My colorectal MD told me it may be bladder prolapse. Lovely. I guess it doesn't often have to be surgically repaired but I feel sometimes something is dripping and I wonder whether it's coming through my vagina rather than my urethra. I'll find out more at my next MD visit. It's sad but true all these organs are heading south as we age just most of us are in the dark about it. I'm doing my kegels and wearing pantiliners even though it doesn't happen all the time and I'm comfortable with that.
Hope you are all well. I hope you find someone you trust soon, Karin. Do you have a trusted friend or someone you can talk to about all this? This whole experience is so hard under the best of circumstances, someone to talk to would give you some extra support.
Penny
Karin, I am so sorry you had to experience what you did during your exam. I think that was one reason I tried to find a female doctor after leaving my first one. He seemed to have no compassion whatsoever. You should have been told everything beforehand, and he should have known more about you before just plowing ahead. I went to 2 other specialists for opinions and after waiting months I could tell they hadn't looked at my records and only after mentioning some things did they take a few minutes and skim my record. There's no feeling that they care about what happens to you at all. After one barium enema I was in tears. They had water just pouring out everywhere on the table and I was cold and totally wet, as if I'd had a bath. I had to make a special request to talk to the guys in charge to get any kind of explanation to what they had found.
I would write letters if you feel they would help. I've complained to the Medical Licensure Board, and although they might not lose their license, it's one more compaint in their file, or nail on their coffin, whichever picture works best!!
I do occasionally worry that I might still have the fistula. I was checking out my vagina at one point and found that there was something there that I had not ever noticed. My colorectal MD told me it may be bladder prolapse. Lovely. I guess it doesn't often have to be surgically repaired but I feel sometimes something is dripping and I wonder whether it's coming through my vagina rather than my urethra. I'll find out more at my next MD visit. It's sad but true all these organs are heading south as we age just most of us are in the dark about it. I'm doing my kegels and wearing pantiliners even though it doesn't happen all the time and I'm comfortable with that.
Hope you are all well. I hope you find someone you trust soon, Karin. Do you have a trusted friend or someone you can talk to about all this? This whole experience is so hard under the best of circumstances, someone to talk to would give you some extra support.
Penny
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hey all,
just saying hello on a sunday evening...boy, the weekend goes too quick... I hope u r feeling better Karin!!!
Bea and Penny-how r u doing?
Ladies have a good monday, thinking of you.b
just saying hello on a sunday evening...boy, the weekend goes too quick... I hope u r feeling better Karin!!!
Bea and Penny-how r u doing?
Ladies have a good monday, thinking of you.b
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Hi all
I had a pretty good day today. I went out for a little retail therapy! I have spoken to a few of my really good friends about the appointment from hell, and have decided that in order for me to move on, I really need to write a letter to the hospital to complain. I have all of the information needed to do so. I also was thinking, did any of you have to be scoped to look for the fistula? If so, were you given medication to help ease the pain of it a bit? I was thinking about the endoscope that I had in comparison to the colonoscopy that my father had. He said that he was drugged up so that he wouldn't feel any discomfort. I on the other hand, who had just told my doctor I was already in pain, was not given anything. Not even a warning that the scope was coming.
If I think about it, I just get pissed all over again. My husband hasn't been home for any of this either, so I have had to sleep by myself which isn't easy since I keep thinking about my attackers. To deal with it, i have been letting my 7 month old sleep with me until my husband gets home. I don't know why it makes me more comfortable knowing that he is there, but it does so I don't question it.
Well, I will keep you all informed about my quest for justice and a new doc! Thanks for the information and well wishes! I couldn't do this without you all!
Karin
I had a pretty good day today. I went out for a little retail therapy! I have spoken to a few of my really good friends about the appointment from hell, and have decided that in order for me to move on, I really need to write a letter to the hospital to complain. I have all of the information needed to do so. I also was thinking, did any of you have to be scoped to look for the fistula? If so, were you given medication to help ease the pain of it a bit? I was thinking about the endoscope that I had in comparison to the colonoscopy that my father had. He said that he was drugged up so that he wouldn't feel any discomfort. I on the other hand, who had just told my doctor I was already in pain, was not given anything. Not even a warning that the scope was coming.
If I think about it, I just get pissed all over again. My husband hasn't been home for any of this either, so I have had to sleep by myself which isn't easy since I keep thinking about my attackers. To deal with it, i have been letting my 7 month old sleep with me until my husband gets home. I don't know why it makes me more comfortable knowing that he is there, but it does so I don't question it.
Well, I will keep you all informed about my quest for justice and a new doc! Thanks for the information and well wishes! I couldn't do this without you all!
Karin
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Just a quick hello to everyone,
Hope you're all doing well. I am having good and not so great days. I think I rushed into eating too high fiber foods after the reversal and now my colon is not a happy camper. I've backed way up to white breads, rice, etc. and other low residue foods. I'm wondering if my MD will have any suggestions. The bad days involve leaking after moving my bowels that is so irritating. It can last off and on all day and requires non stop wiping. Argh, as my daughter would say. Other days are great and I feel so 'normal'. My latest plan is to eat rice or potato every day. I'm sure the sphincteroplasty left me with less than ideal muscle tone. I'm also investigating pelvic floor massage to see if that would be helpful.
OH, I graduated from Kegel School (biofeedback really). They call it incon therapy. I'm on my own with it for 3 months and then have a recheck. At the moment that muscle is the strongest one in my body!!
I guess this turned into more than a quick hello. A bit of a gripe session but thank you for listening. I'm thinking of you guys every day. I'm thinking the Spring will make us all feel and heal better.
Penny
Hope you're all doing well. I am having good and not so great days. I think I rushed into eating too high fiber foods after the reversal and now my colon is not a happy camper. I've backed way up to white breads, rice, etc. and other low residue foods. I'm wondering if my MD will have any suggestions. The bad days involve leaking after moving my bowels that is so irritating. It can last off and on all day and requires non stop wiping. Argh, as my daughter would say. Other days are great and I feel so 'normal'. My latest plan is to eat rice or potato every day. I'm sure the sphincteroplasty left me with less than ideal muscle tone. I'm also investigating pelvic floor massage to see if that would be helpful.
OH, I graduated from Kegel School (biofeedback really). They call it incon therapy. I'm on my own with it for 3 months and then have a recheck. At the moment that muscle is the strongest one in my body!!
I guess this turned into more than a quick hello. A bit of a gripe session but thank you for listening. I'm thinking of you guys every day. I'm thinking the Spring will make us all feel and heal better.
Penny
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Penny I totally understand the frustrations you are having, I also have those days!! I did speak with my GP about my horrid appointment, and she has set me up with a female colorectal surgeon in Boston. I am so grateful to her for all of her help! She told me to write a letter of complaint, let my urogynocologist know about the jerk he sent me to, and said she was going to spend some time researching who was the best person for me to see because she didn't want me to see just anyone! I LOVE her! I also think that with the spring coming, better moods are just around the corner! It's hard to be grumpy when you're outside and enjoying the fresh air!
I will let you all know how it goes! Good luck to all of you, and I hope everything goes well for all of you.
I will let you all know how it goes! Good luck to all of you, and I hope everything goes well for all of you.
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hey guys,
sorry to hear about tough times, Penny... I hope that you can get some assistance with your dietary needs...I am sure stress does not help--if you are feeling anxious.
I had a bm through the right place, but did experience a little bit of fecal matter vaginally--not as much as the last time, but some--so maybe it is still healing like my dr. said...i hope...it sucks that that has to happen at all with the ileo. it makes you feel a bit hopeless. But no mater what I just have to wait.
How is everyone else?
Be good, B
sorry to hear about tough times, Penny... I hope that you can get some assistance with your dietary needs...I am sure stress does not help--if you are feeling anxious.
I had a bm through the right place, but did experience a little bit of fecal matter vaginally--not as much as the last time, but some--so maybe it is still healing like my dr. said...i hope...it sucks that that has to happen at all with the ileo. it makes you feel a bit hopeless. But no mater what I just have to wait.
How is everyone else?
Be good, B
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Hi Guys,
Good to hear from you all variously.
Penny, I hope things have settled a bit for you now. Must be tricky learning how to manage it best.
B - I feel for you. It is the same for me with the stoma - why can't they stop it completely coming through? Though I haven't had another bm since the first traumatic one.
I had my endo-anal ultrasound today. I know something isn't right yet I can't tell what. It made me bleed again and I'm sure I shouldn't be bleeding now - B, you don't get any bleeding do you? And Penny, did your repair bleed ever this long after the op? Feel a bit hopeless yet it might be alright really ...
Karin, keep us posted on your next apptment.
Meanwhile I hoep you all feel in good spirits. It's been sunny here and that helps.
Bea
xx
Good to hear from you all variously.
Penny, I hope things have settled a bit for you now. Must be tricky learning how to manage it best.
B - I feel for you. It is the same for me with the stoma - why can't they stop it completely coming through? Though I haven't had another bm since the first traumatic one.
I had my endo-anal ultrasound today. I know something isn't right yet I can't tell what. It made me bleed again and I'm sure I shouldn't be bleeding now - B, you don't get any bleeding do you? And Penny, did your repair bleed ever this long after the op? Feel a bit hopeless yet it might be alright really ...
Karin, keep us posted on your next apptment.
Meanwhile I hoep you all feel in good spirits. It's been sunny here and that helps.
Bea
xx
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Bea,
Hey...no, I have not had any bleeding in awhile... Did your dr. give you any idea what it may be? And Yes, I agree, to go through all this and still have bms and leakage really does stink... I know mine is not good yet... unfortunately....
please keep us informed...Hopefully it is still just healing... I don't go back until April...so like you, i am waiting, let us know what they find out today!!! Other than that all is alright... you know how it goes...
Penny, thinking of you.
Milesmom-how r u?
Be good all, B
Hey...no, I have not had any bleeding in awhile... Did your dr. give you any idea what it may be? And Yes, I agree, to go through all this and still have bms and leakage really does stink... I know mine is not good yet... unfortunately....
please keep us informed...Hopefully it is still just healing... I don't go back until April...so like you, i am waiting, let us know what they find out today!!! Other than that all is alright... you know how it goes...
Penny, thinking of you.
Milesmom-how r u?
Be good all, B
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HEllo all,
I am so glad it is Spring, officially, if not temp wise. It does help to think of all that new growth out there.
Today did not start out well for me. Left side of my face is swollen. I'm wondering if I got something in my eye. Yesterday I must have gone to the bathroom a hundred times (only a slight exageration!). Leaking like crazy, so I wouldn't be surprised if I'm harboring an infection of some sort. The good thing is I'm going to my RN practitioner this morning so she can address my bladder issue as well as a longish list I have prepared. I'm not quite scary enough to frighten children so I guess I'll have to go to work :-)
Bea, I don't recall bleeding related to the surgeries but I did have a barium enema that resulted in bleeding for months. I think it takes a qhile to heal in that area. I'm assuming they went in too deep or broke some skin tissue. No one seemed too upset except me!
I don't understand the leakage, either. Do they say how that can happen with the ostomy? Did you have a prep before the ostomy? I didn't and that's what caused my impaction. Nothing came out normally after the ostomy.
Thinking of everyone. Hoping this year brings us all to a better place!
Penny
I am so glad it is Spring, officially, if not temp wise. It does help to think of all that new growth out there.
Today did not start out well for me. Left side of my face is swollen. I'm wondering if I got something in my eye. Yesterday I must have gone to the bathroom a hundred times (only a slight exageration!). Leaking like crazy, so I wouldn't be surprised if I'm harboring an infection of some sort. The good thing is I'm going to my RN practitioner this morning so she can address my bladder issue as well as a longish list I have prepared. I'm not quite scary enough to frighten children so I guess I'll have to go to work :-)
Bea, I don't recall bleeding related to the surgeries but I did have a barium enema that resulted in bleeding for months. I think it takes a qhile to heal in that area. I'm assuming they went in too deep or broke some skin tissue. No one seemed too upset except me!
I don't understand the leakage, either. Do they say how that can happen with the ostomy? Did you have a prep before the ostomy? I didn't and that's what caused my impaction. Nothing came out normally after the ostomy.
Thinking of everyone. Hoping this year brings us all to a better place!
Penny
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Hello. My wife just gave birth last week. She had a 4th degree epi. The following day she had symptoms of a fistula. After an exam by her doctor, he confirmed that was the case. He told her that she could have it repaired immeadiately, or in 3-6 months. She decided to have it repaired that day (vaginal). He said that he did a layered repair via the vagina, and felt very good about the proceedure.
She was discharged the next day, and noticed fecal matter in her vagina the following day. We immeadiately called, and got in the same day. He examined her vagina only (her rectum was still too sore). He said the repair looked great, and the only cause for concern would be if there were any bleeding or severe pain.
Last night she discovered fecal matter in her vagina again (only when having a BM, and no bleeding) that continued today. There is no gas escaping her vagina, only a little fecal matter.
The doctor is highly respected, trusted, has been practicing for 20 years, and is Chief of Staff at the hospital. He said he does on average 3-4 of these repairs per year with great results.
Is it possible that there could be leakage until later in the healing process?
Also, how can I reassure her that I'm here for her 100% no matter what?
Thanks for any help.
She was discharged the next day, and noticed fecal matter in her vagina the following day. We immeadiately called, and got in the same day. He examined her vagina only (her rectum was still too sore). He said the repair looked great, and the only cause for concern would be if there were any bleeding or severe pain.
Last night she discovered fecal matter in her vagina again (only when having a BM, and no bleeding) that continued today. There is no gas escaping her vagina, only a little fecal matter.
The doctor is highly respected, trusted, has been practicing for 20 years, and is Chief of Staff at the hospital. He said he does on average 3-4 of these repairs per year with great results.
Is it possible that there could be leakage until later in the healing process?
Also, how can I reassure her that I'm here for her 100% no matter what?
Thanks for any help.
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hey New Dad,
It is wonderful that u are so concerned, it such a tough thing for both of you. My RVF came after i gave birth to my daughter 18 mos. ago. I had a surgery (flap repair) in April that failed and then this past december had a layered approach (vaginally) and an ileo. to help it heal.
So I had the same procedure your wife did, the second time... Now remember i have a ileostomy to aid the healing process, so it is slightly different. However with the ileo. sometimes fecal matter bypasses, so i do have bms the normal way. anyway, I DO HAVE SOME FECAL MATTER COMING THROUGH VAGINALLY.... my dr. said this CAN happen during the healing process... so, it may be the same for your wife... Hopefully it will heal over-so i cross my fingers for myself and your wife.
maybe you can tell her about this board, that may help... it helped me to know i was not alone...it is so hard, especially with a little one. I am surprised they did the repair so soon-that is odd, usually they wait...was the rvf big? Be well and welcome...B
It is wonderful that u are so concerned, it such a tough thing for both of you. My RVF came after i gave birth to my daughter 18 mos. ago. I had a surgery (flap repair) in April that failed and then this past december had a layered approach (vaginally) and an ileo. to help it heal.
So I had the same procedure your wife did, the second time... Now remember i have a ileostomy to aid the healing process, so it is slightly different. However with the ileo. sometimes fecal matter bypasses, so i do have bms the normal way. anyway, I DO HAVE SOME FECAL MATTER COMING THROUGH VAGINALLY.... my dr. said this CAN happen during the healing process... so, it may be the same for your wife... Hopefully it will heal over-so i cross my fingers for myself and your wife.
maybe you can tell her about this board, that may help... it helped me to know i was not alone...it is so hard, especially with a little one. I am surprised they did the repair so soon-that is odd, usually they wait...was the rvf big? Be well and welcome...B
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Thanks for the reply bee, you have helped me alot. :-)
I have read my wife EVERY POST of ALL 4 threads. SHe didn't want to ask this. I'm sure it's because she is scared of the answer, there is alot of long stories here. I am inspired by your stories, and that even after a long hard time, it can, and does get better.
She is only 5 days post-op, so I hope that it's only a healing issue. She isn't afraid of a fight, just as long as this is temporary (which I'm sure it is) She is 28, and has the rest of her life ahead of her.
What techniques did you girls use to keep from getting depressed? How do you keep your spirits up? She said that she's scared that I'll leave her over this. That is very heartbreaking to me, as this will NEVER be the case. We have been married for 12 years. How do I get her to understand how I feel, and that I will always be here for her? I'm sorry for all the emotional type questions, but I don't understand how women think.
Also, are you in the US? I suspect that maybe some of the long stories here are due to the way the medical system works in the UK, and Canada. Maybe I'm way off base though.
Thanks, Dad.
I have read my wife EVERY POST of ALL 4 threads. SHe didn't want to ask this. I'm sure it's because she is scared of the answer, there is alot of long stories here. I am inspired by your stories, and that even after a long hard time, it can, and does get better.
She is only 5 days post-op, so I hope that it's only a healing issue. She isn't afraid of a fight, just as long as this is temporary (which I'm sure it is) She is 28, and has the rest of her life ahead of her.
What techniques did you girls use to keep from getting depressed? How do you keep your spirits up? She said that she's scared that I'll leave her over this. That is very heartbreaking to me, as this will NEVER be the case. We have been married for 12 years. How do I get her to understand how I feel, and that I will always be here for her? I'm sorry for all the emotional type questions, but I don't understand how women think.
Also, are you in the US? I suspect that maybe some of the long stories here are due to the way the medical system works in the UK, and Canada. Maybe I'm way off base though.
Thanks, Dad.
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Not sure how large. He could feel it with a simple exam. I am from a town of 400K people, and when we got pregnant, I researched, and picked the BEST OB/GYN in the city. I have read horror stories about some of your doctor expierences, and I don't want to believe this is the case with us.
His first reaction was to say that he may have overlooked something during the initial repair (in the delivery room). He is very good with her, and is not afraid to admit fault. In OR prep the staff asked who was doing the proceedure. When I told them, that smiled, and said that we were in then best hands.
If this doesn't take, I'll be needing some recommendations for an expert colo-rectal surgeon. We will travel anywhere we have to.
Thanks again, Dad.
His first reaction was to say that he may have overlooked something during the initial repair (in the delivery room). He is very good with her, and is not afraid to admit fault. In OR prep the staff asked who was doing the proceedure. When I told them, that smiled, and said that we were in then best hands.
If this doesn't take, I'll be needing some recommendations for an expert colo-rectal surgeon. We will travel anywhere we have to.
Thanks again, Dad.
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Dad,
Everyone is different...so you may find, hopefully, that it works out good for you guys and the repair takes...but what I learned is that it is a difficult area to repair...my posts tell it all, so i don't want to rewrite them again... to answer your ?'s:
I am in the US-NY.
My Dr.'s waited to see how it healed that is why i waited, plus an ostomy is a big decision...and one I do not regret.
I am 32, active, a working mom....with a husband who stood by me...I think all you can do is listen and be there...but also remind her that this is not the end of the world...for god's sakes people are dieing of horrible diseases....this sucks, trust me, i have an ostomy, and I never ever thought this could happen to me in a million years, but life happens.
support groups help. some chats can be negative and i would watch the validity of what is being said. It is not easy for RVF's to be repaired and it can be long term (but some get fixed right away_ the worst part is that it is a waiting game and it sucks.
I am on lexapro--it helps me just go on and not dwell on the negative.
also there are boards this one-i use ostomyland too. I have met a good deal of women who are dealing with this... Wendy Powell, Australia, has a site rvfnetwork.com i think, she is awesome and recovered after many surgeries and 2 ostomys-ugh.
I know ostomy sounds bad...bad it isn't...life goes on... and i do everything I used to...and i hope this is temporary, as planned.
when i got the flap repair it made my rvf bigger--so be aware that this can happen--it does not often, my second surgery, like your wife's, is holding, but i am getting some discharge vaginally. like i said.
good luck, it will be ok...and kudos for you for sticking by her...it is tough for you too...it has been 18 mos. with me and my husband and we have had our ups and downs with this...but we have been together for 10 years so we make the best of it...
she may want to talk to someone to-a counselor- i do not... i have good friends and a strong family..i have talked with women who have had this and that helps me...be good, b
Everyone is different...so you may find, hopefully, that it works out good for you guys and the repair takes...but what I learned is that it is a difficult area to repair...my posts tell it all, so i don't want to rewrite them again... to answer your ?'s:
I am in the US-NY.
My Dr.'s waited to see how it healed that is why i waited, plus an ostomy is a big decision...and one I do not regret.
I am 32, active, a working mom....with a husband who stood by me...I think all you can do is listen and be there...but also remind her that this is not the end of the world...for god's sakes people are dieing of horrible diseases....this sucks, trust me, i have an ostomy, and I never ever thought this could happen to me in a million years, but life happens.
support groups help. some chats can be negative and i would watch the validity of what is being said. It is not easy for RVF's to be repaired and it can be long term (but some get fixed right away_ the worst part is that it is a waiting game and it sucks.
I am on lexapro--it helps me just go on and not dwell on the negative.
also there are boards this one-i use ostomyland too. I have met a good deal of women who are dealing with this... Wendy Powell, Australia, has a site rvfnetwork.com i think, she is awesome and recovered after many surgeries and 2 ostomys-ugh.
I know ostomy sounds bad...bad it isn't...life goes on... and i do everything I used to...and i hope this is temporary, as planned.
when i got the flap repair it made my rvf bigger--so be aware that this can happen--it does not often, my second surgery, like your wife's, is holding, but i am getting some discharge vaginally. like i said.
good luck, it will be ok...and kudos for you for sticking by her...it is tough for you too...it has been 18 mos. with me and my husband and we have had our ups and downs with this...but we have been together for 10 years so we make the best of it...
she may want to talk to someone to-a counselor- i do not... i have good friends and a strong family..i have talked with women who have had this and that helps me...be good, b
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By the way...
How is everyone else?
Bea-please tell me you have good news...I can't wait to hear that all is well.
Milesmom-anything new?
Be good. b
How is everyone else?
Bea-please tell me you have good news...I can't wait to hear that all is well.
Milesmom-anything new?
Be good. b
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