i have had every check possible and they are all clear i have no std and i dont think i would as i have only ever been with three people and they have all been serious relationships so i dont sleep about. i have been with my current boyfriend for 4 years and eveytime we have sex it hurts! i have tried doing it different ways but it still hurts me. and what makes it worse is it puts me off sex im starting not to like it because of that feeling and i feel bad on my bf .
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Hi honey! This is VERY common yet rarely talked about! There is ALL this money and research into Erectile Dysfunction, BUT barely a whisper about Feminie Sexual Dysfunction - my words for it! Since you have had the full all clear about physical I am going to tell you something you WONT like! It is mental! Your brain is your BIGGEST sex organ! and the very 1st time and 2nd time you have painful sex - could be from lack of hormones, infeciton, illness, etc, then your brains job is to protect you from this pain! And WILL create terribley painful scenarios so you DONT hurt again!
This is what I want you to do! I want you to see a gynecologist, IF a full spectrum hormone test hasn't been done yet, I would like that to be done! Also are your periods regular? and do you have painful urination? IF it is NO for regular periods and yes for painful urination I would like you to get a transvaginal ultrasound - to rule out ovarian cysts or endometriosis! IF all of that is clear, I want you to ask her/him for Vaginal Dialators! They are FANTASTIC! What they are is phalic shaped wax vaginal inserts in different sizes - I think there are 6 of them! They go from the size of a finger to a normal erect penis girth! You can cool them or warm them! You insert the smallest and just TOTALLY relax and breathe and get used to that when this stops irritating you, you go up to the next size! Learning how to relax and no tense and concentrate on the sensation! Eventually you get to the normal average penis length and girth! And this lets the brain know that there is NO problem! and allows you to have sex!
After my 1st child I had 50 vaginal stitches!!! And I was in AGONY eventually - even after I healed - I STOPPED wanting or even needing sex! It was over a year for myself and my husband! I went through the gammit of tests and horrible painful injections etc. NOT to mention the damage to our relationship! What a wonderful gynecologist said is this "My brain is looking at my husband as the enemy! And my brain knows that He intends to hurt me!" So there wasn't ANYTHING happening! I used the dialators and VOILA! Also sometimes numbing cream can help! BUT I'm not a fan of these! It's kind of like saying, "Oh well, just numb it and get on with it!" You know what I mean? So the inserts TEACHES you that this is NOT going to be painful - a far better way - as far as I'm concerned!
Let me know how it goes! Good luck and just know you are DEFINITELY not alone!
This is what I want you to do! I want you to see a gynecologist, IF a full spectrum hormone test hasn't been done yet, I would like that to be done! Also are your periods regular? and do you have painful urination? IF it is NO for regular periods and yes for painful urination I would like you to get a transvaginal ultrasound - to rule out ovarian cysts or endometriosis! IF all of that is clear, I want you to ask her/him for Vaginal Dialators! They are FANTASTIC! What they are is phalic shaped wax vaginal inserts in different sizes - I think there are 6 of them! They go from the size of a finger to a normal erect penis girth! You can cool them or warm them! You insert the smallest and just TOTALLY relax and breathe and get used to that when this stops irritating you, you go up to the next size! Learning how to relax and no tense and concentrate on the sensation! Eventually you get to the normal average penis length and girth! And this lets the brain know that there is NO problem! and allows you to have sex!
After my 1st child I had 50 vaginal stitches!!! And I was in AGONY eventually - even after I healed - I STOPPED wanting or even needing sex! It was over a year for myself and my husband! I went through the gammit of tests and horrible painful injections etc. NOT to mention the damage to our relationship! What a wonderful gynecologist said is this "My brain is looking at my husband as the enemy! And my brain knows that He intends to hurt me!" So there wasn't ANYTHING happening! I used the dialators and VOILA! Also sometimes numbing cream can help! BUT I'm not a fan of these! It's kind of like saying, "Oh well, just numb it and get on with it!" You know what I mean? So the inserts TEACHES you that this is NOT going to be painful - a far better way - as far as I'm concerned!
Let me know how it goes! Good luck and just know you are DEFINITELY not alone!
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