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Ive just had anal for the first time with my boyfriend. It hurt really bad and in the end we had to stop because it was causing me so much pain. After i got uset about it. Will it be as painful the next time?

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I posted this in response to another individuals questions about anal sex. Hopefully you will find this useful.

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Anal sex is generally considered taboo as is most sexually activity that doesn't involve penis in vagina. Most people don't really discuss their sexual activities in the bedroom and what little people know about other activities is a lot of the time based on bad information.

If you want to have anal sex with your g/f do your homework. Buy a book that BOTH of you can read about it. I highly recommend:

"Anal Sex for couples: A guaranteed guide to painless pleasure"
and
"The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women 2nd Edition"

Both of these books you can buy on Amazon.

For anal sex: Start slow. Have lots of foreplay. There is a lot of bad stigma about playing with the anus and this can make her uncomfortable from the start. Get a SMALL vibrating sextoy (that is also narrow.. about a forefinger's width) to use on her there to start. When you go down on her play with her anus with the toy. This will help her to associate positive things about her anus and anal play with you and sensual activity. Working with her slowly and doing other sensuous activities will help her get rid of bad associations. You may need to work for a month or two at this before you actually have anal sex and have her be comfortable. Also having her play with herself while you play with her anus is good too. Remember though if the toy or your fingers go in her anus then they shouldn't go in her vagina until they have been cleaned. This will help to avoid her getting a yeast infection or a bladder infection.

Next lube: always remember LUBE LUBE and MORE LUBE. Now personally I think lube is the biggest "mistake" that beginners make. You have to find the right lube. Lube meant for and is great for vaginal sex is not necessarily great for anal sex. You need to have a lube that coats well and does not dry easily or get sticky. There are alot of anal lubes on the market. Some are good and alot are not. Unfortunately it usually means that you will have to experiment with them to figure out what you like. Don't use desensitizers like AnalEase. They are bad. Try lubes like Adam & Eve's Anal Lube, Slippery Stuff Gel, Wet Platinum (not the regular Wet), or even Vasaline (although not necessarily recommend as there are lubes that can be bought that are better.. you can try mixing Johnsons baby oil and vasaline together and this may be a little better lube for anal sex/play than just vasaline).

Remember anal sex should be painless. If there is pain you are rushing it or something is wrong. You may just need to play longer. Especially if you are a guy with a penis that has wider girth. You can try toys that will gradually over time stretch her out a bit so that once you do eventually start anal sex you can fit inside or her easier. If she is not aroused then anal sex will not go well.
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Not necessarily
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I think it's unfair for people to tell others that anal sex is painful and not to try it, or that's its digusting, etc. It's a strange topic of discussion, but something that should hold to honesty. I was told for years that anal sex is disgusting, extremely painful, only good for the guy (in a hetero relationship)...and I believed it! Until my partner introduced me slowly to the subject. I can honestly say I have never experienced pain during anal sex. The only negative feeling I had was a strange feeling/stretching by having the penis inside, but it's the same feeling as when losing your virginity, but even more painless.

Buy a but plug, start slowly, get yourself used to the idea. Just as the other post describes, associate the experience or feeling of touching/playing with the anus with something positive, like the sensations from cunnilingus. I would not reccommend anal sex with someone you are not comfortable with or someone that you think wont listen to your concerns. If you have a partner that seems to only want this from you in order to gratify himself, then this is a poor choice in my opinion. Anal sex is a wonderful experience when you treat the situation like an adult. Lots of lube is of course necessary, with using a butt plug as well. The best position for insertion is usually with the women on top, lowering herself slowly onto the penis. When it feels uncomfortable, pause, let your muscles relax and then you can continue. Nothing should be rushed, and definitely dont let anyone, 'stick it in'. It's a very personal choice and someone that should be left up to the passive partner.
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Hey it used to hurt me when i've anal sex untill the guy use his spit lol and it hurt still alittle but also felt good and then it didnt hurt at all when i was high for the first time ever with some strong pink hill weed and i was drunk also and man did it felt good but i try lube and it never cease the pain ever. it always hurts to use lube.
then when we used spit it always helps and makes it feel much much better,
but hey um is this normal lol i Um was high that first time and i been drunk before but anyways i was moaning soooo loud louder then i've ever moan in my life lol when i had a 3some now is that normal or does that just mean that was the best sex i ever had in my life lol?
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I have hemorrhoids they dont flare up all the time but when i try to have anal sex with my boyfriend the pain in beyond belief. i really want to please my man. any advice on how it can be less painful under the circumstances??
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It is not a good idea to engadge in anal sex if you have roids. They are painful enough with out aggrivating them even more. Anal sex will cause them to bleed and will inflict more pain on you.
If they don't bother other than when you are trying to have anal sex, my first thought is not to do it at all.
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My question is if any of you had certain positions that might be less painful and any suggestions for 1st time anal sex. Any info would help.
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I can't think of any other position that would ease the pain of roids during anal sex. Tons of lubrication, but then the penis still has to push over and pass them. Withdrawing of the penis would pull them forward and possibly causing them to come out.
Friction would cause them to hurt and possibly bleed.
Try to dissolve them before you have anal sex. Prep H is good.
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Lying on your back and relaxing is the best way for beginners.
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no it will not hurt as bad as the first time.
i had anal a couple weeks ago and it hurt very bed we had to stop.
then i had it again and it felt a lot better.
dont worry it is quite enjoyable just try it again.
i think all fours is the way to go.
lube is a must.
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my boyfriend and i just had anal sex for the first time. we didnt use lube at all, it didnt hurt a bit. is this normal? lol
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NO it wont if u use some precautions . local anaesthetics come in form of gel . apply only to anal surface. for further details mail to

ap





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Anesthesia is a HORRIBLE idea for anal sex. Pain is your body's way of telling you something is wrong. I've had anal sex as a gay man and can tell you that starting slow is important, and paying attention to your partner is important. And as noted above LUBE LUBE LUBE LUBE and if your not sure, more lube.
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Haha I think I liked anal more than my boyfriend and he was the one who wanted to try it so bad.
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