Hello, readers, I'm a 16 year old male, I'm not in great shape, but don't smoke or drink a lot (I do drink shandy,though,but that has less than... 0.5% alcohol, if I remember correctly, but still I don't drink much),but when It comes to wanting to please my girlfriend - both online and in real life - I get very aroused,yet I can't easily get hard,and when I do,it's only semi - erect, this has been going on for three or four days now.
My girlfriend is two years older than me, she's had sex before, and I am a virgin, I do get anxious and stressed in my every-day life,and it's been bearing down more on me since we decided to get a little more sexual, right now she's on holiday,yet we still want to please each other on Skype, and I do get very aroused, yet I can't get hard easily, she's very beautiful and sexy, and I really do want to masturbate on camera with her, but It just doesn't happen, even when looking at her naked or if she plays with herself, I do get nervous and anxious - right now, even typing this, I am a little shaky,but I'm not embarrassed - and It's been happening for a couple of days, I am able to get semi-erect,sometimes even hard, when I'm not with her, and can climax, but when I am with her and talking, I can't really get hard or climax.
I used to watch porn quite a bit (I am trying to stop,I have been able to for three days,and I have no urge to) and I used to masturbate very often, then got down to 2-3 times a day, and I have read a few articles on here concerning this, and I have taken a little comfort in them,but today I am getting a little more anxious, I didn't masturbate yesterday,and I did get semi erect today,when we tried online, but I couldn't climax.
Sorry if this is a little long,but I am pretty concerned, I want to please her as much as she does for me, and it feels like throughout the day, I don't stop feeling (Or thinking) that My breath is shallower and shaky, I keep thinking about her, and feeling extremely aroused, yet I can't do anything about it, I need something that I can confide in - preferably personal experience,or just words of courage and wisdom -,that'd really help.
Anyway,thanks for reading.
My girlfriend is two years older than me, she's had sex before, and I am a virgin, I do get anxious and stressed in my every-day life,and it's been bearing down more on me since we decided to get a little more sexual, right now she's on holiday,yet we still want to please each other on Skype, and I do get very aroused, yet I can't get hard easily, she's very beautiful and sexy, and I really do want to masturbate on camera with her, but It just doesn't happen, even when looking at her naked or if she plays with herself, I do get nervous and anxious - right now, even typing this, I am a little shaky,but I'm not embarrassed - and It's been happening for a couple of days, I am able to get semi-erect,sometimes even hard, when I'm not with her, and can climax, but when I am with her and talking, I can't really get hard or climax.
I used to watch porn quite a bit (I am trying to stop,I have been able to for three days,and I have no urge to) and I used to masturbate very often, then got down to 2-3 times a day, and I have read a few articles on here concerning this, and I have taken a little comfort in them,but today I am getting a little more anxious, I didn't masturbate yesterday,and I did get semi erect today,when we tried online, but I couldn't climax.
Sorry if this is a little long,but I am pretty concerned, I want to please her as much as she does for me, and it feels like throughout the day, I don't stop feeling (Or thinking) that My breath is shallower and shaky, I keep thinking about her, and feeling extremely aroused, yet I can't do anything about it, I need something that I can confide in - preferably personal experience,or just words of courage and wisdom -,that'd really help.
Anyway,thanks for reading.
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Hi Concerned,
Anxiety can cause you to have trouble getting or keeping an erection.
Just focus on her, not yourself. If you lose your erection or can't get hard work on her. Let your body go along for the ride. If you can't stay hard, don't worry about, she should understand.
Avoid the shandy too. Any alcohol can impair your performance.
Use protection too. Concerns about a possible pregnancy only add to the stress/anxiety.
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"My girlfriend is two years older than me, she's had sex before, and I am a virgin, I do get anxious and stressed in my every-day life,and it's been bearing down more on me since we decided to get a little more sexual, "
I think you pretty much described your problem right there. I know it must be difficult to do but you need to take a more laid back approach. As dan said, try concentrating on loving her body in other ways to work up to having sex.
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Hey guys,Concerned here again, I've been able to get a little harder in the morning,Didn't want to ejaculate so as to be able to when I talked to her,but when we tried on skype (no camera this time,just microphone) I did get pretty large but then lost it quickly a few seconds after. and this happened a few times,and I couldn't climax, when it gets very hot I do tend to lose it,and that annoys me sometimes, as you guys told me to do, I focused on her,didn't drink any shandy, tried to lay back a bit, I think it did work quite a bit, It took some time to get hard,though,and as it was on skype, I couldn't really get hard even though she was really arousing, and when it got edge-of-your-seat intense (This was on microphone, though, remember) "The guy" just didn't seem up for the job (Pun intended).
I mean,this is a few minutes after, and I don't feel as nervous, but I am annoyed about it, I try and relax and calm down, but I can't really do that at the moment, and as I've said,she's on holiday,so I really can't talk to her intimately, and can't really have sex while we both are in different countries, and I just couldn't say to her that I was only getting semi-erect and couldn't climax, I know I should say, but I just felt... I don't really know what I felt, embarrassed?
I am getting rather worried,though, I am trying to relax,but I'm always thinking about the "what ifs" and I can't really go to the doctors and talk about it, and as I've repeated, I really am trying to calm down, I've not had shandy from yesterday to today morning, but the tips did help when I woke up, I didn't wake up with a stiff,but played around to see if it was at least a little better than yesterday,and truthfully it was, It wasn't as hard as I could've been, but still, as soon as My girlfriend wanted to talk dirty on skype, I felt a tiny bit anxious,but apart from that, I was doing my best to keep cool, but still, didn't get as hard as in the morning (Semi erect was about all I got).
Even now I feel like my breathing's shallower and not getting any better (Probably because there's not much fresh air here %-) ).
I'm sorry if I repeat myself a lot, and thanks for reading,once again
I mean,this is a few minutes after, and I don't feel as nervous, but I am annoyed about it, I try and relax and calm down, but I can't really do that at the moment, and as I've said,she's on holiday,so I really can't talk to her intimately, and can't really have sex while we both are in different countries, and I just couldn't say to her that I was only getting semi-erect and couldn't climax, I know I should say, but I just felt... I don't really know what I felt, embarrassed?
I am getting rather worried,though, I am trying to relax,but I'm always thinking about the "what ifs" and I can't really go to the doctors and talk about it, and as I've repeated, I really am trying to calm down, I've not had shandy from yesterday to today morning, but the tips did help when I woke up, I didn't wake up with a stiff,but played around to see if it was at least a little better than yesterday,and truthfully it was, It wasn't as hard as I could've been, but still, as soon as My girlfriend wanted to talk dirty on skype, I felt a tiny bit anxious,but apart from that, I was doing my best to keep cool, but still, didn't get as hard as in the morning (Semi erect was about all I got).
Even now I feel like my breathing's shallower and not getting any better (Probably because there's not much fresh air here %-) ).
I'm sorry if I repeat myself a lot, and thanks for reading,once again
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Also,Sorry for the double post, but I feel this is more of a psychological problem, Although I can't know for sure, I just keep thinking about it.
It is getting pretty worrying and pretty annoying at the same time.
Also,thank you both, Dan and Life, although It is pretty much the same, I do feel a little better about it.
It is getting pretty worrying and pretty annoying at the same time.
Also,thank you both, Dan and Life, although It is pretty much the same, I do feel a little better about it.
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My god,triple post,Woo!
Anyway,I tried masturbating (Girlfriend wasn't involved in any way), at first I was thinking a lot, and I only got semi erect,then I tried focusing on the job at hand (Another pun) and climaxed, Feel relieved,because If I can masturbate like this, I can with my girlfriend.
I know I can't really tell or say right now, but If I had to give any advice from my experience today, is focus on her,and the job at hand, it will make it much easier in the long run...
I will try to put this into practice tomorrow (hopefully, if she's on her laptop) and Will tell you how it went, good or bad (Hah, I have a feeling it will be good news,though! ) and hopefully you wonderful guys and gals could help me,or I could help you :)
Anyway,I tried masturbating (Girlfriend wasn't involved in any way), at first I was thinking a lot, and I only got semi erect,then I tried focusing on the job at hand (Another pun) and climaxed, Feel relieved,because If I can masturbate like this, I can with my girlfriend.
I know I can't really tell or say right now, but If I had to give any advice from my experience today, is focus on her,and the job at hand, it will make it much easier in the long run...
I will try to put this into practice tomorrow (hopefully, if she's on her laptop) and Will tell you how it went, good or bad (Hah, I have a feeling it will be good news,though! ) and hopefully you wonderful guys and gals could help me,or I could help you :)
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Hi Concerned,
I doubt it is a physical issue.
Just try to relax, you've seen that it can help. Again, focus on her, not you.
Good luck.
I doubt it is a physical issue.
Just try to relax, you've seen that it can help. Again, focus on her, not you.
Good luck.
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Today was pretty good, I got hard (But not rock-hard, although that doesn't happen often,if I were just masturbating) and came, although this was on skype.
I'm happy to see that I'm getting a bit better, and I can't thank you guys (Or girls) Enough for the help!
I'm happy to see that I'm getting a bit better, and I can't thank you guys (Or girls) Enough for the help!
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Sorry I couldn't come back sooner, but just thought to tell you that while on skype, an hout ago (no, she's not back, unfortunately) I came, and a massive amount, at that!
Anyway, thank you all for this, it took me a couple of days, but I'm back in there!
I feel more relaxed (albeit still being worn out from an hour a go, did do a lot of things on camera, she'll be coming back, soon, and I'm sure I'll be able to do like I did today!) and I do feel happier!
Once again, Thank you all, really helped me out.
Anyway, thank you all for this, it took me a couple of days, but I'm back in there!
I feel more relaxed (albeit still being worn out from an hour a go, did do a lot of things on camera, she'll be coming back, soon, and I'm sure I'll be able to do like I did today!) and I do feel happier!
Once again, Thank you all, really helped me out.
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