Ok....where do I start? I started this drug 7months ago, i felt it worked for the first couple of weeks, had a few side effects, sleeping though feeling like I was still awake, yawning, ichy skin: just went with it ( was on 75mg BTW) had a good job, husband, 2 beautiful boys, nice house, car.
As a sales rep I became a lover to make calls over the phone ( usually the worst part of the job), had many conversations with my boss on how i was a valuable member of the team, my telesales mannor was great.
That lasted through the bedding in period of about 6 weeks, then my emotions cut off, I kicked my husband out ( thought I could cope better without him), Quit my job, gave my car to my brother and took my youngest out of Nursery, where he had been since 4months to be an at home mum.
Still at home with my little boy, being "just a mum", not that it's to be disrespected coz 6 months ago I couldn't have done it. Both of my boys have me here more than ever but at times I feel like I'm not here at all. I so wish I could be how I was 12 months ago. I guess you are wondering and hoping ike I was when reading these forums for some hope.................................Well, one day I sat an evaluated just when things went wrong for me.
1) I would never have quit my job and challenged being at home full time 12 months ago.
2) I would never have let anyone give me advice to take any antidepressant before, why now? I must have been genuinely low!!
3) Did I feel better today than that day when I sat in the doctors surgery?
4) If Iwalk to the kitchen to put some washing in the machine, can I still remember what i was doing when I reach the kitchen door? Could i have before these tablets?
The list was endless.....I decided cold turkey!!!!
I took my 75mg each night before I went to bed, i found this tamed the nightmares a little, I went to sleep thinking that never again will I be "possessed by the devil" I managed approx 36 hrs and it started, I felt like the DEVIL I was angry, short tempered, awful to be around, I had "brain zaps" OMG they were bad, I got my entire wedding album and ripped up the photo's. I was totally out of character, a totally BIT**, my poor, poor boys.
I pushed the boundaries by beating 5 days of "cold turkey" NEVER AGAIN, DON'T DO IT!!!!!! I arranged an app with a different doctor and discussed how I felt.
We decided to wean, What a revolution, I swapped the capsules for the pills, took 37.5mg twice a day for 3 day ( listen to your body though, it takes as much time as you metabolism apparently) I then cut to 37.5mg each night for 7days, then half a pill for 2 wks, I had to increase back to 1 pill each night for 4 more days. I then moved down to approx 18mg per day before bed. I experience noting that my body could not cope with, maybe the "cold turkey" set me up with a snippet of what was to come but now, 4 Weeks later and I am at last ME again.
Just wanted to let all you guys know that it is possible to safely get clean :-) , it's not a bad drug, it helped me stay focused ( if only to wonder what the hell was happening to me while i took it),
As a sales rep I became a lover to make calls over the phone ( usually the worst part of the job), had many conversations with my boss on how i was a valuable member of the team, my telesales mannor was great.
That lasted through the bedding in period of about 6 weeks, then my emotions cut off, I kicked my husband out ( thought I could cope better without him), Quit my job, gave my car to my brother and took my youngest out of Nursery, where he had been since 4months to be an at home mum.
Still at home with my little boy, being "just a mum", not that it's to be disrespected coz 6 months ago I couldn't have done it. Both of my boys have me here more than ever but at times I feel like I'm not here at all. I so wish I could be how I was 12 months ago. I guess you are wondering and hoping ike I was when reading these forums for some hope.................................Well, one day I sat an evaluated just when things went wrong for me.
1) I would never have quit my job and challenged being at home full time 12 months ago.
2) I would never have let anyone give me advice to take any antidepressant before, why now? I must have been genuinely low!!
3) Did I feel better today than that day when I sat in the doctors surgery?
4) If Iwalk to the kitchen to put some washing in the machine, can I still remember what i was doing when I reach the kitchen door? Could i have before these tablets?
The list was endless.....I decided cold turkey!!!!
I took my 75mg each night before I went to bed, i found this tamed the nightmares a little, I went to sleep thinking that never again will I be "possessed by the devil" I managed approx 36 hrs and it started, I felt like the DEVIL I was angry, short tempered, awful to be around, I had "brain zaps" OMG they were bad, I got my entire wedding album and ripped up the photo's. I was totally out of character, a totally BIT**, my poor, poor boys.
I pushed the boundaries by beating 5 days of "cold turkey" NEVER AGAIN, DON'T DO IT!!!!!! I arranged an app with a different doctor and discussed how I felt.
We decided to wean, What a revolution, I swapped the capsules for the pills, took 37.5mg twice a day for 3 day ( listen to your body though, it takes as much time as you metabolism apparently) I then cut to 37.5mg each night for 7days, then half a pill for 2 wks, I had to increase back to 1 pill each night for 4 more days. I then moved down to approx 18mg per day before bed. I experience noting that my body could not cope with, maybe the "cold turkey" set me up with a snippet of what was to come but now, 4 Weeks later and I am at last ME again.
Just wanted to let all you guys know that it is possible to safely get clean :-) , it's not a bad drug, it helped me stay focused ( if only to wonder what the hell was happening to me while i took it),
Loading...