I have been an addict for almost 5 years! Maybe longer. It started with a torn rotator cuff injury while working. The doc gave me hydrocodone which I hated, because a year or 2 back they had been given to me for dental pain and just knocked me out! But the pain was so bad at work I took one and BAM I got that "super woman" feeling... A feeling I hadn't felt since my husband left me and my 3 young kids (for another woman) a few months earlier. I really liked that feeling so 1 turned to 2 which over the next 2 years turned to 10-15 a day. I also started dating my "dealer" from when my personal script wore out. I thought everything was fine and I wasn't addicted but boy was I wrong. My husband and I decided to try to work our marriage out and he came back home. A fewonths later I felt wonderful and like I didn't need the pills anymore :) I was also watching my best friend Dave go through a horrible herion addiction and did not want to go down that road! So I ditched the pills but what I didn't know was the hell I was facing! I laid on my couch for a week straight living HELL! But with a friends help I did it. After I hated my husband cause he had no support for me or what I was going through. I began to resent him and needless to say the relationship didn't go very well and we split again. Well the depression got me and I won't back to the hydros or any other opiate I could get my hands on! My addiction was back in full force! I darted seeing this guy which was great at first but I hid my addiction from him. I was then diagnosed with spinal stenosis which meant my own script again. He too had some knee problems and got a script so I was eating through both our scripts. He thought I wa selling them. Then I started stealing his mom and gmas scripts. We were only gettin 7.5s and they were getting 10s so anytime we went to their house (2-3 times a week) I would snag a handful. That worked for like a year till I was taking more and more and they caught on. Still didn't know it was me, they thought gma was taking to many and I let that go and let them believe it. Well then my friend Dave contacted me (he was in prison for 2 years from doing things to support his herion habit) and he told me how he was given these wonder drugs "Suboxen" and I should try them. So I did and they were awesome because I could feel them same without all the stealing and spending money. Yet I still favored the hydros. So for months I would take my script in a week and the subs the rest if the month. Long story short the relationship with this boyfriend failed so I packed up moved out and on. Dave was awesome and helped me emotionally physically financially the whole nine yards. So we started dating. That was the best thing ever! He gave me subs to stay off everything else and weaned me down. Well I started lying to him too. He thought i stopped taking everything!!!! thought i wa clean but i wasnt I was taking more then I should, and still getting my script behind his back. Hiding it all with geat hed leave me or fall back to herion after the hurt of this to him. Things went great with us tho... We bought a house and moved into together an have been in such love! So a few months ago I decided to kick the habit cold turkey! Took my script as normal in a week then two weeks of subs at 8mg a day and cut myself cold turkey! OMG that was a Bad decision! All week I was in bed in the worst w/ds ever! He thought I had the flu and took awesome care of me! But after that week I couldn't stop shaking it was killing me! I guess it was anxiety or paws idk. He wound up finding a few hydros on the job site at work and brought them home. I said I flushe them but I didn't. I took one and felt it all go away so I kept taking them then refilled my script and was right back to my old ways :( I was so pissed at myself after all I went through and I did this again! Dumb! Then to our surprise guess what I'm pregnant!!!! I found out at 12 weeks. I called my ob/gyn and said I wanted help with the w/ds cause I was coming off them and all they wanted to do was send me to treatment. I don't need treatment I need off and knowing I'm pregnant is all the reason I need to be off! I called my primary dr and he told me to go to the ER. Nice. So I took it into my own hands... Thurs and fri I took only 4mg suboxone then sat and sun I took 1.5mg and those 4 days I felt crappy, tired, irritable, cold etc... Mon I took nothing and by mon night I went to the ER! I was shaking and emotional, cold, my stomach was aching, bad head ache and body ache. I told them the truth about me and they said I was doing good and it will only get better. I thought ya right lol they gave me a dose of ativant and a script of it to fill. Well the ativant made me feel awesome. Tues morning I woke up and took 3mg B6 and 1000mg Vit C and 6 mg Imodium and was basically fine. I cleaned my house (very slowly) wasn't so irritated with the kids and was just kinda lazy feeling and still cold. So now it's wends (day 3 with nothing) and I'm alright. I'm happy and slowly moving. I'm just bored lol the kids are gone at school and the man at work. I'm still cold and kinda clammy. I took the ativant last night to sleep and will tonight too and will stick to my vitamins. I have no cravings for drugs but I do want my natural motivation and energy back. I don't know how to occupy my mind right now so I've been on all these different forums. I figured I'd post to one.
I guess my question is... Has anyone else come off this easy? I figured my metabolism is hog right now being pregnant soy hat helps but I feel like this was almost to easy and the worst is to come...
How long will I feel weak cold and clammy?
Any advice will help and thanks for reading my story :)
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