Dear reader,
I am 21 and until last year, i had never trued to have sex. my current boyfriend i have known for years and aprox 10 months ago we tried to have sex, as it was so pain full i cried (even tho it usually takes a lot of pain to make me cry) my boyfriend brought me to the doctor and she did an internal examination and said every thing was fine that i would have to be fingered first. so we practised fingering for a while then tried again and was still very pain full so went to another doctor. she and another gynocologist did an other interal examination and said i had thrush and some kind of spot (located just inside the hymen, lower side, i think its the duct/gland that natural releases lube that got infected) so i treated that and the spot went away.
my boyfriend did a lot of research and thought it could be that i had vaginaism, so i discussed it with my doctor and she didnt think so, but we did some relaxing techniques anyway! She advised me to buy a dildo that would maybe help so i could relax more. the infections went away, and i was doing great with the dildo and feeling no pain when i got another spot. then a week later it was gone but now it is still very painful inside. i feel like i cant even have sex with my boyfriend and feel so unattractive even tho he tells me different.
any help on the subject would be much appreciated,
thank you for your time :-) :-)
I am 21 and until last year, i had never trued to have sex. my current boyfriend i have known for years and aprox 10 months ago we tried to have sex, as it was so pain full i cried (even tho it usually takes a lot of pain to make me cry) my boyfriend brought me to the doctor and she did an internal examination and said every thing was fine that i would have to be fingered first. so we practised fingering for a while then tried again and was still very pain full so went to another doctor. she and another gynocologist did an other interal examination and said i had thrush and some kind of spot (located just inside the hymen, lower side, i think its the duct/gland that natural releases lube that got infected) so i treated that and the spot went away.
my boyfriend did a lot of research and thought it could be that i had vaginaism, so i discussed it with my doctor and she didnt think so, but we did some relaxing techniques anyway! She advised me to buy a dildo that would maybe help so i could relax more. the infections went away, and i was doing great with the dildo and feeling no pain when i got another spot. then a week later it was gone but now it is still very painful inside. i feel like i cant even have sex with my boyfriend and feel so unattractive even tho he tells me different.
any help on the subject would be much appreciated,
thank you for your time :-) :-)
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Hi Isabella! First of all I think what you have and keep having is called a Bartholin Cyst - it is right inside the opening of your vagina and can be blocked and become infected! Since that has been cured I TRULY believe you have Vaginismus! This is VERY common for women, it is caused by worry about sex, religious and natiionality beliefs, feeling "dirty", etc. Your brain is your biggest sex organ and IF it has worry, stress, guilt etc, it will NOT allow you to enjoy sex! So the BEST thing ever created are called Vaginal Dialators! There are about 10 (I think) wax phallic inserts! You start with the smallest one - size of a finger! You do this by yourself, insert the smallest one, breathe through it and just relax and get used to it! Releasing the muscles, etc, then after acouple of days of that and when you are ready you slowly move upt the sizes, untill eventually you get to a regular size of a penis one, and then you get used to it! The MOST important thing here is telling your brain it doesn't hurt - so it isn't anticipating the pain of it! So it will allow regular sex to continue without spasming!
Another GREAT exercise is to make your vagina smile! I know that sounds silly but this is what you do! Be alon in a quiet room - or with nice soothing music playing! Stand straight and relaxed take deep breaths! Now put one hand on your pelvis - inbetween you belly button and pelvic bone! and just leave it there for awhile - with slight pressure, THEN using ALL your pelvic floor muscles try to make your vagina smile! Keep your eyes closed and just concentrate on breathing and making those muscles SMILE! It is an AMAZING feeling and a workout for the vaginal wall and the pelvic floor! You have to get your brain used to the fact that the vagina is a pleasurbale quiet and peaceful area! NOT a tangled web of nerves on fire and muscles restricting! Also do Kiegles - the muscles you would use if you were trying to stop peeing! This can be done ANYWHERE at anytime!
Just jnow honey you are NOT along and millions of women suffer! I hav a question to you have ANY sexual pleasure - masturbation wise, or sexual thoughts? I';m just thinking that IF you don't it could be a hormonal thing!
Another GREAT exercise is to make your vagina smile! I know that sounds silly but this is what you do! Be alon in a quiet room - or with nice soothing music playing! Stand straight and relaxed take deep breaths! Now put one hand on your pelvis - inbetween you belly button and pelvic bone! and just leave it there for awhile - with slight pressure, THEN using ALL your pelvic floor muscles try to make your vagina smile! Keep your eyes closed and just concentrate on breathing and making those muscles SMILE! It is an AMAZING feeling and a workout for the vaginal wall and the pelvic floor! You have to get your brain used to the fact that the vagina is a pleasurbale quiet and peaceful area! NOT a tangled web of nerves on fire and muscles restricting! Also do Kiegles - the muscles you would use if you were trying to stop peeing! This can be done ANYWHERE at anytime!
Just jnow honey you are NOT along and millions of women suffer! I hav a question to you have ANY sexual pleasure - masturbation wise, or sexual thoughts? I';m just thinking that IF you don't it could be a hormonal thing!
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OK Bambi, I have one question.
I learned to breath through my ears as a teen and found good use for it. But----- what possible use is there for a girl to breath through her vagina? 8-|
I learned to breath through my ears as a teen and found good use for it. But----- what possible use is there for a girl to breath through her vagina? 8-|
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