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hi everyone. i have a few questions to ask and i hope i get an answer........my boyfriend and i often use a dildo when having sex and my insides get sore as hecky! we use both him AND the dildo at the same time and for days after my cercix is really sore.could it be that the dildo presses against my cervix?also, when we go without the dildo he fits me inside me tightly,why is that,but hes constantly asking to use the dildo with.last but not least, my cervix seems short and stumpy unless i engage in sexual intercourse and then it seems to expand and get longer...kinda like an inside penis-for lack of a better description.I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT ROTFL.ive not gotten many comments on my posts so ill wait and see if this draws any comments before i search another site to help with small non-rhetorical questions.THANKS FOR READING

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Health Ace
6870 posts

It sounds like something is surely hitting your cervix. I suppose you might not notice it while you are doing it because your brain releases endorphins to kill the pain. However my wife used to definitely feel it if I hit her cervix when inside her and it HURT. I could play with it with my finger and she liked that but if I bumped it with my penis she did not like that at all. So either his penis or the dildo is certainly hitting it.

Why does he want to put both his penis and a dildo inside you? Does it turn him on to think about stretching you? I never thought of doing anything like that. I didn't want my penis rubbing against a dildo. I wanted pure vagina grasping it.

Your vagina will grasp whatever is put into it and it doesn't have to be large for it to grip it tightly. I suppose there are some girls who have stretched theirs or have weakened muscles so they need something larger for it to fit tight but most do not.

I think your cervix gets larger during sex to try to capture any sperm that might be looking for a home.

 

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hi.im not entirely sure why he feels the need to use a dildo AND his penis when we are having sex. before we became intimate we questioned each other about STD'S,size and what we like most about sex.i told him i enjoy a thick penis that can penetrate deep inside me and while he didnt tell me he was big he didnt say he had a microshaft either.still i assumed he was a nice size until a few months later i realized he never let me touch his penis EVER!so one day while we were having sex i did touch it.....AND IT WAS A TOY BAT!!of course i went off on him bc i had no idea he was using a toy on me-yeah, i thought i was getting straight d**k. its been 2 years since then and we have purchased many dildos.the problem is he ALWAYS have to use the dildo.i care for him a lot and ive compromised on the dildo but he cant seem to understand that i prefer him over the dildo.is it possible my vagina conformed to his penis size?he always tell me im tighter with the dildo even tho he can feel my grips with his penis.hecky,my pinky can feel every grip and i dont understand why he needs to feel im tighter on his penis-is he lieing to me about feeling my grips?ive also noticed his penis only goes as far as my 'ruffles' but thats okay bc im getting used to the feeling and it feels good.i just dont like that his semen is almost on the outside of my thighs instead of inside me.we do use pilllows to raise my pelvis and shorten my vagina to suit him. i cant ride him bc it always come out and im afraid itll go in my anus.i can even grip and squeeze him out bc hes so short.im rambling and i apologize-ive not talked to anyone about this but i need answers!
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Health Ace
6870 posts

I think he may be using the dildo because he feels you need it inside you to be satisfied but I'm no psychological analyst.

I never saw penetration as the most important part of sex. For me, what most people call foreplay was the big attraction. I worked  on my wifes vulva with my fingers and tongue and played inside her with my fingers. It pleased me so much to see her orgasm and know that I did that, that I would orgasm at the same time even though no one was touching my penis. She liked what I was doing and after the orgasm I would put it inside her ahd we would just hold close and enjoy being close. Sometimes we would go for a second orgasm with me inside her which was also wonderful of course.

For us it always worked better to satisfy her manually (tongue u aly?) and then do insertion for the feeling of closeness.

I think you just need to work out what you and he can do to please both of you. Right now it seems as though he has the idea that he has to put something big inside you to make you happy so that's what he's doing. If you can be pleased with outside stimulation and he can do it, I think you will solve the problem.

It's not like my wife and I jumped into bed on our wedding night and everything was perfect. It took years to achieve what we felt was the best for us. Not 20 years but more than a year. But even after 20 years we kept improving on it, or adjusting to what we liked at that time.

If you can find a position where you can grasp his penis in your vagina just for the feeling of doing that so you can both enjoy that, I think that should help a lot and you can do the orgasms manually. I feel doggy style and on her back with her knees up by her shoulders were the positions that shortened her vagina the most. I can't tell you if either gave me better access to the opening though. I'm sure with a little exploration you can figure out what works best for you.  

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THANK YOU SO MUCH!i kinda figured that my liking deep penetration is probably what makes him want to use the dildo all the time. its so hard to explain to him that NOW i prefer to be stimulated by my ruffles(the patch of meat at the top of the vagina walls) bc he thinks im just playing games with hs head. honestly tho i like his penis better than i ever thought i would.ITS TRUE size has nothing to do with it.THANKS njoynlife
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