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Well after starting rigevidon birth control pill in july and then stopping mid august and starting loestrin and stopping that, ive had the worst experiences of my life i just want to know that im not alone. since end of august i have had the worst depression and anxiety when i shouldnt even have depression or anxiety!! ive never experienced it in my life it must be the birth control i was fine before it. i feel so alone all the time no energy horrible thoughts doom and gloom always tired feeling sick time to time, i just feel so disconnected to everything i once loved. lets get back to the start though i was on loestrin from july 2014 until start of august upto then i was being forgetful and doubling up pills time to time anyway i was noticing the worst mood swings and crying and next to nothing for no reason. id look in the mirror in tears and not even recognise myself for why i was crying i was so scared... thinking it was probably my hormones sorting out mid pack i changed to loestrin i was feeling sick when i started that pack and the same depression kicked in sad feeling horrible thoughts and feeling so diconnected from everything no emotion but sadness i even felt like i didnt know my boyfriend anymore and felt numb texting him although i do love him dearly! ive been off birth control for about 3 weeks now i have my good hours yes hours not days.. and i still feel depressed no motivation to work or do anything i used to always work out go to the salon get a tan but now i feel like whats the point. oh and when i stopped the loestrin before my period i had the worst fever and headache and cramps ever, will this ever get better will my hormones balance out? please tell me they will i want to be happy again not stuck in a dark place!

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Dear meme2003

You are witnessing side-effects and or drug reactions. I will list some of the side-effects below -

Mental depression, cholestatic jaundice, porphyria, epilepsy, migraine, headache, breast discomfort, dizziness, nausea and vomiting, changes in libido, appetite and weight, breakthrough bleeding, changes in menstrual flow, amenorrhoea, oedema, rash, melasma or cholasma, acne, urticaria, abnormal LFTs, moodswings, insomnia, thrombotic and thromoembolic events, optic neuritis, altered lipid profile.

May I suggest that you visit a doctor for a proper review of your case. Love and light

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I was more looking for other peoples experiences than symptoms :(
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Meme i went through this too and still going through it!
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Hi I am writing to tell you I have been going through the same thing and this website has saved my sanity. Everything you have said is exactly what I was going through.. It's getting better though, slowly but I know things will go back to normal. Wondering how your doing? Mine started about a month and a half ago and that's when I stopped the birth control. The weird anxiety feelings started four days after I started the pill like 4 months ago. I remember the first episode vividly but didn't pay much mind to them because they were so mild. This month has been so tough, Ive even almost quit my job, but thank god I'm having even better days.. Sending my love and prayers I'm hoping to hear your better if you check this, i feel so sorry for anyone going through this. <3
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Hi everyone,

 

I started by replying to some other threads but eventually opted for this one as it seemed the most recent -

 

So, my experience has gone a bit like this: I have been on birth control for over 10years now. I started off, aged 16, on Microgynon (think it’s the common starting point) and got on absolutely fine. Like any forgetful teenager, I had the odd missed pill, but generally took them regularly, having regular breaks. I suffered with general "moodiness" but nothing of any real concern. I knew what signs to look out for, as well, as id had friends who had reacted badly to Microgynon and had gone a bit crazy (for better choice of words!).

 

Anyway, 9years later, takes me to approx October 2013, I started to have the occasional "low point".... I am in a very happy relationship (I think - I'll get to that bit), and have been for nearly four years... But around that time I was questioning it. I was struggling to find the desire and unconditional love I once felt towards my partner. This really caused me concern when we were on the holiday of a lifetime in Thailand, something that should have brought us closer together. I tried my hardest to “brush it off” and managed successfully, with the feelings eventually going away and things returning to normal. I did not address the problem, however, until I noticed it happening more regularly (and enhanced greatly by alcohol) and did the maths and realised it was pretty much in sync with my cycles. I'd like to add, alongside these indifferent feelings towards my amazing man, I was constantly anxious, crying, picking fights – the tell-tale signs of PMS.

I went to the doctor, who was pretty dismissive but suggested I came of Microgynon and tried another form of birth control. Long story short, I was originally going to get the coil fitted but after lots of consultation, ended up giving Cilest a go.

 

I started the new pill (Cilest) around April 2014. Again, no problems at all.....until November 2014, and BAM!

 

Now it gets a bit tricky to understand. I hadn't noticed any symptoms at all, until they hit my like a ton of bricks towards the end of November. I was anxious, tearful and generally depressed. Not interested in seeing anybody, no enthusiasm for the things I really loved, I just felt alone. However, there had been an incident happened which I thought was the cause - I cheated on my boyfriend. I say "cheated" because I don't want to be in denial or to play it down and make it seem okay - but I kissed a friend whilst on a night out. It was a short kiss, instigated by him, which I soon stopped as I knew I loved my boyfriend, but infidelity all the same, as I put myself in that position. It was a friend who I was close to (nothing had happened before) and got on well with, but looking back, I now feel horrendously guilty for putting myself in the position where it was able to happen. Anyway, I blamed the way I was feeling on the guilt following this. I tried to logically accept I'd made a mistake (everybody does?) as a result of bad judgement but I still felt terrible, like I had tarred my amazing relationship that people had previously envied me for. I thought my punishment was that I had felt as guilty and miserable as I had, but I just couldn’t shift the brain fog. That led me to the decision to tell my boyfriend.. I was devastated, and he was angry.... It was one of the hardest things I have done, I couldn’t bear to lose him, but we addressed it, and agreed to move on (of course it took time but we got there). I never once questioned that I wanted to be with him, I realised that was why I had felt so bad, because I loved him so much.

 

I thought the feelings would then go away but they didn't. We went on holiday that week (I told him the day before - good or bad decision I don't know) - another trip of a lifetime. I should have been ecstatic - we were going to New York but I just couldn't shift the black cloud. I tried to explain to my boyfriend how I felt, but I just found it so difficult – because I just didn’t know. I didn’t want to bring up the incident again, it was hard for both of us – but most definitely him. I spent the first two days not myself, I cried every day… in bed, in the shower, every toilet stop… I woke up through the night, unable to get back to sleep due to the thoughts jittering around in my head. About everything… I imagined the most terrible situations to try and jump start some real emotion but it just wouldn’t come. I thought it was just lack of feeling towards my boyfriend, but I forced myself to address my feelings about my other loved ones, and they just weren’t there. The best way I can describe how I felt, was scared. I was terrified I would feel like this forever, and if I did – what was the point? This was the biggest over-reaction to a stupid mistake – but was there more to it?

 

It was after two sleepless nights that I decided to try and place the blame… I figured that even if it was not the sole cause, the artificial hormones the pill pumped around my body probably weren’t helping the situation. It was then I decided to stop taking it. Whether it was psychological or not, I don’t know, but I felt better. Not instantly, but slowly… and I managed to enjoy the rest of the trip. In fact, I had a great time, and I am sure in years to come, it will be the great times I look back and remember. That said, I was still not 100%... I still lack the enthusiasm for life that I usually have, feel depressed and struggle to clear my mind… more so on some days than others. I am still feeling indifferent to my boyfriend – that one is a hard one though, I still smile at the thought of him, but I don’t look forward to time together, or to seeing him, like I used to and want to. I am suffering with what I think is withdrawal from having been taking birth control for over 10years. It can’t be solely the guilt from the incident, surely? I feel the guilt because I love him, so why would that make me un-interested? I just want to feel normal again – the bit I am struggling with the most, is that aside from the one issue, I have absolutely nothing to be depressed about. I have a wonderful job, a fantastic support network, the best family, an amazing boyfriend and a future to look forward to.

 

I am a big believer that time is the best healer, and that things will get better… and ultimately back to normal… one day (hopefully soon). It is such a reassurance reading that I am not the only person in the world who is depressed, and that things do get better.

 

It’s worth noting, that I also work shifts (and have been working a lot of overtime), had to work over Christmas, currently living with the in laws, and suffer generally with winter depression. Things which I am sure all contribute to the way I am feeling.

Any reassurance would be much appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read :)

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Hi everyone, I started by replying to some other threads but eventually opted for this one as it seemed the most recent - So, my experience has gone a bit like this: I have been on birth control for over 10years now. I started off, aged 16, on Microgynon (think it’s the common starting point) and got on absolutely fine. Like any forgetful teenager, I had the odd missed pill, but generally took them regularly, having regular breaks. I suffered with general "moodiness" but nothing of any real concern. I knew what signs to look out for, as well, as id had friends who had reacted badly to Microgynon and had gone a bit crazy (for better choice of words!). Anyway, 9years later, takes me to approx October 2013, I started to have the occasional "low point".... I am in a very happy relationship (I think - I'll get to that bit), and have been for nearly four years... But around that time I was questioning it. I was struggling to find the desire and unconditional love I once felt towards my partner. This really caused me concern when we were on the holiday of a lifetime in Thailand, something that should have brought us closer together. I tried my hardest to “brush it off” and managed successfully, with the feelings eventually going away and things returning to normal. I did not address the problem, however, until I noticed it happening more regularly (and enhanced greatly by alcohol) and did the maths and realised it was pretty much in sync with my cycles. I'd like to add, alongside these indifferent feelings towards my amazing man, I was constantly anxious, crying, picking fights – the tell-tale signs of PMS. I went to the doctor, who was pretty dismissive but suggested I came of Microgynon and tried another form of birth control. Long story short, I was originally going to get the coil fitted but after lots of consultation, ended up giving Cilest a go. I started the new pill (Cilest) around April 2014. Again, no problems at all.....until November 2014, and BAM! Now it gets a bit tricky to understand. I hadn't noticed any symptoms at all, until they hit my like a ton of bricks towards the end of November. I was anxious, tearful and generally depressed. Not interested in seeing anybody, no enthusiasm for the things I really loved, I just felt alone. However, there had been an incident happened which I thought was the cause - I cheated on my boyfriend. I say "cheated" because I don't want to be in denial or to play it down and make it seem okay - but I kissed a friend whilst on a night out. It was a short kiss, instigated by him, which I soon stopped as I knew I loved my boyfriend, but infidelity all the same, as I put myself in that position. It was a friend who I was close to (nothing had happened before) and got on well with, but looking back, I now feel horrendously guilty for putting myself in the position where it was able to happen. Anyway, I blamed the way I was feeling on the guilt following this. I tried to logically accept I'd made a mistake (everybody does?) as a result of bad judgement but I still felt terrible, like I had tarred my amazing relationship that people had previously envied me for. I thought my punishment was that I had felt as guilty and miserable as I had, but I just couldn’t shift the brain fog. That led me to the decision to tell my boyfriend.. I was devastated, and he was angry.... It was one of the hardest things I have done, I couldn’t bear to lose him, but we addressed it, and agreed to move on (of course it took time but we got there). I never once questioned that I wanted to be with him, I realised that was why I had felt so bad, because I loved him so much. I thought the feelings would then go away but they didn't. We went on holiday that week (I told him the day before - good or bad decision I don't know) - another trip of a lifetime. I should have been ecstatic - we were going to New York but I just couldn't shift the black cloud. I tried to explain to my boyfriend how I felt, but I just found it so difficult – because I just didn’t know. I didn’t want to bring up the incident again, it was hard for both of us – but most definitely him. I spent the first two days not myself, I cried every day… in bed, in the shower, every toilet stop… I woke up through the night, unable to get back to sleep due to the thoughts jittering around in my head. About everything… I imagined the most terrible situations to try and jump start some real emotion but it just wouldn’t come. I thought it was just lack of feeling towards my boyfriend, but I forced myself to address my feelings about my other loved ones, and they just weren’t there. The best way I can describe how I felt, was scared. I was terrified I would feel like this forever, and if I did – what was the point? This was the biggest over-reaction to a stupid mistake – but was there more to it? It was after two sleepless nights that I decided to try and place the blame… I figured that even if it was not the sole cause, the artificial hormones the pill pumped around my body probably weren’t helping the situation. It was then I decided to stop taking it. Whether it was psychological or not, I don’t know, but I felt better. Not instantly, but slowly… and I managed to enjoy the rest of the trip. In fact, I had a great time, and I am sure in years to come, it will be the great times I look back and remember. That said, I was still not 100%... I still lack the enthusiasm for life that I usually have, feel depressed and struggle to clear my mind… more so on some days than others. I am still feeling indifferent to my boyfriend – that one is a hard one though, I still smile at the thought of him, but I don’t look forward to time together, or to seeing him, like I used to and want to. I am suffering with what I think is withdrawal from having been taking birth control for over 10years. It can’t be solely the guilt from the incident, surely? I feel the guilt because I love him, so why would that make me un-interested? I just want to feel normal again – the bit I am struggling with the most, is that aside from the one issue, I have absolutely nothing to be depressed about. I have a wonderful job, a fantastic support network, the best family, an amazing boyfriend and a future to look forward to. I am a big believer that time is the best healer, and that things will get better… and ultimately back to normal… one day (hopefully soon). It is such a reassurance reading that I am not the only person in the world who is depressed, and that things do get better. It’s worth noting, that I also work shifts (and have been working a lot of overtime), had to work over Christmas, currently living with the in laws, and suffer generally with winter depression. Things which I am sure all contribute to the way I am feeling. Thanks for taking the time to read this! Any reassurance welcome :-)
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I decided to write this, still dealing with one of the hardest experiences I have ever endured, but I figured if I could just help one person with my story, this would all be worth going through.. If one person experienced or is experiencing what I did, I want them to know that you are NOT ALONE, it does get better, and to please, just hold on and stay strong. This is my story: I started taking Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo 5 weeks ago. I had taken it from ages 15-17 to regulate my periods, I had some weight gain, always super irritable ( I figured that was part of being a teenager), and that's why I chose to get off of it at 17 years old. This time around, at 21 years old, I felt like I would use the same type of contraceptive (Ortho Tri Cyclen- Lo) because it was familiar to me. The person who I loved and I had just split up, I had started a new job, I just thought it would be a good idea to be on birth control because no matter what, I knew at this time I was in no way, shape, or form ready to bring a baby into this world. I was going in for my yearly check up anyways, so it just worked out! I've never been the anxious type or anything, and I did have a little anxiety off and on, but I just thought it was all of these new life changes. I was always quickly able to reassure myself that I was okay, and the anxiety stopped when I told it to. The first month was pretty smooth, I was loosing weight pretty quickly, my skin felt good, emotionally I will say I was very numb. I thought at the time it was a blessing in disguise, boy was I wrong. There was only one day out of that whole month that I can say I had a bad experience, I got into an argument with my roommate, punched a wall(something I used to think was so childish and immature to do), and then cried my eyes immediately out after I did it because I felt crazy and almost like I blacked out in that moment.. I really wish I would've listened to my mind and body right then and there, but I looked up online about my mood swing and was quickly reassured that it was just my body getting used to the new hormones, and to give it three months before I even think about stopping the pill. I felt fine after my "little" breakdown, and carried on like nothing happened. The first period was light and only three days long. I did have some painful cramping, but it was nothing two Midol pills couldn't handle. Overall, the first month I was pretty pleased with my hormonal contraceptive. Here's where it changes; I had always taken my pill at 1:00 AM to try to sleep off most of the side effects (nausea, headaches, possible irritability) everything was fine up until the day I started my second week of my second pack. I am going to try my best to try and describe exactly how I felt, but just know, this is something I never even knew could happen until it happened to me, this is something that can change your whole entire life. It was like one second I was fine and myself, and the next second I was someone else. I've never been a sad person, I actually consider myself to be pretty optimistic and positive type person. I could hear my heart in my ears, my voice in my head was screaming telling me that something was wrong, to get to a hospital, I really truly felt like I was dying. I tried to tell myself to calm down, and nothing worked. I was experiencing my first ever anxiety attack, at home, for no apparent reason. I finally did some deep breathing and calmed myself down enough to where I could get a grip. Then the depression kicked in, I swear not even 60 seconds later. Instantly, my head was filled with the most negative things about myself (I didn't even know my own brain was capable of generating these kind of awful thoughts), and even worse it was my own voice in my head repeating these thoughts to me over and over. I was so hopeless, I felt like my life had no meaning, the thought of going to work or even leaving my house made me want to curl up into a ball and die.. I will never forget those thoughts for as long as I live. I was HAPPY AND SMILING two minutes before this. It's been four days since those thoughts have started, FOUR miserable, terrifying, just plain awful days. The first day, I just thought I felt the way I did from having too much caffeine, so I went to sleep thinking the next morning I would feel fine. So I took my birth control as normal, and finally went to sleep. I was scheduled for work the next morning, I woke up to the same awful thoughts and had NO energy, I felt like I was going to throw up at every second, and I honestly didn't care about even having a place in this world, I was definitely not going to go to work. I NEVER thought that birth control could do that to you. I'm so glad I started researching the web when I did, because if I didn't know that other people had the same experiences I did, some women almost the exact same experiences, I don't know if I would still be here today. The pain and hopelessness was THAT REAL. I have never been a suicidal person or have even had those kind of thoughts before, I really had my own self convinced that the world would be a better place without me in it and that I had no purpose on this planet. When you just sit there staring at a wall, four days has easily felt like months. Once I started seeing that people were speaking up about depression and being on the pill, I just wanted to stop taking it. I saw lots of posts saying "make sure you talk to your doctor before you stop taking the pill" I'm sorry, but if my doctor gave me this awful drug without discussing any of these possible side effects with me (The nurse and I honestly spoke for a total of three minutes about the method of contraception I wanted), why would I want her opinion as to what I should do next with my body? But, I called anyways, the front desk lady told me I could make an appointment to see the nurse practitioner the next day because they were full that day. What part of "I feel like I am dying" does she not understand? I know I'm not the only person going through this. And if I were to go to the doctors office, I would just be prescribed more medication to make me feel even more unlike myself. I couldn't believe how lightly the situation was being taken, and that's when I decided ON MY OWN to stop taking Ortho Tri Cyclen -Lo on the 9th day of my second pack. I know that isn't the recommended way to go about things, but I know myself and my body. Birth control was the "medication" I was taking. So my thought process was "I feel like this hormone is causing my body to react this way, so I want it out.) I really don't think that continuing to take the pills would do anything beneficial for me. Currently, it has been 67 hours since I have put that hormone into my body. I was hoping that as soon as I stopped taking them, that I would feel like myself again. I was praying for that quick fix just because I wanted this mess to all be over. It was like having the worst sickness you could ever possibly have, but it was all on the inside and no one could possibly understand that feeling unless they've experienced it for themselves. Almost three full days after stopping the pill later, I can't say I feel 100% better yet, but as far as the depression and negative thoughts, that has become way less frequent and I feel a lot more functional mentally. Physically, this is awful. I'm nauseous from the second I wake up until the second I fall asleep, my stomach is a COMPLETE MESS, and for whatever reason, I still don't feel like I can drive my car (I'm afraid of having a panic attack or throwing up while driving, I would never want to endanger innocent people's lives just because I don't currently have a grip on my own). My roommates have forced (and I mean forced!) me to either go on a walk around the block each day, the first three days it was complete hell. I just wanted to be alone in my dark room forever. Today, I was able to leave the house for four hours, but the nausea and stomach issues made it a little too much to handle, and feeling like you're going to throw up in public at any given moment isn't exactly the best help for this newfound anxiety). My biggest fear is that I will never be myself again. But, I'm putting my all into this because depression is a very serious matter that I feel is taken way too lightly in this world. These "doctors and nurses" are handing these pills out to women like CANDY! What's even more troubling, is that these hormones are given to young women as well. I'm half tempted to go stand in front of the clinic with my picket sign I'm so disgusted with how these people are handling contraceptives. Sure, you may be protected from getting pregnant, but I promise you, it's not worth what I just went through and am still dealing with. Now, I'm not saying that hormonal birth control isn't the answer for some people, but for people like myself, this information needs to be out there, too. I had to dig through pages and pages on the Internet to find out that depression/anxiety can be caused from birth control. I had myself convinced that something was wrong with me. I thought it was just all in my head. I wouldn't wish this experience on even my worst enemy, but this experience has given me a voice. I will not be quiet about depression and hormonal contraceptives any longer. If this has happened to you, speak up. I wish I could find the lady's story that she had posted on a forum, because she's really the reason I think I'm still here. It's okay to speak up, tell other women what you're going through. If you're currently going through this, take small steps forward. I don't know what I would've done without my roommates, if I had lived by myself this whole thing could've turned out a whole different way, because all you want to do in a depression is be by yourself. And in a depression, you truly are your own worst enemy. Like I said before, if I give just one person even the slightest bit of reassurance about what they are feeling, I've done my job.
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How are you feeling now? I did not have any problems when I was on BC, but when I stopped taking it is when the anxiety/depression kicked in.
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This made me feel so much better. I've been going through a similar thing the past four months. I was on a birth control(Quartette) for years, lost weight and started having emotional problems(felt disconnected, distant, not like myself at all) and on top of that vaginal dryness/decreased libido. I blamed it on myself and got on anti depressants but eventually did switch pills(to Lo Loestrin). The problems persisted, didn't feel like myself at all and everything was getting worse. The vaginal dryness turned into pain and sex with my amazing boyfriend turned into a chore. I love my boyfriend so much but I just didn't feel like I was attracted to him and started questioning our (amazing) relationship. I brought up my issues to my psychologist about a week ago and she suggested calling my OBGYN to make an appointment. I have an appointment in three weeks but I've stopped taking the pills for three days now and I feel significantly better. Libido hasn't returned yet but I'm hopeful. Has anyone else had this experience? It's nice to know I'm not alone. I just don't want to lose my boyfriend over something like this. I've never had a negative reaction to birth control and I do have a history of depression so I was hesitant to place the blame on any one thing. Praying and hoping I'm completely back to normal soon.
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Can you please post this side effect on FDA's official website, Medwatch. Even I went through very similar problems while I was on birth control pills and I want drug companies and fda to do more research on such drugs before priscribing them to patients. I have filed my case report on FDA site, more the reports submitted more serious research will be done.

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so I started birth control about two months ago, and due to some issues with my anxiety medication I was taken off of it about two weeks ago. ever since then I havent been able to sleep. My anxiety is through the roof, and I have been having panic attacks daily. I have been extremely disconnected which I know is a big part of anxiety. Im glad to hear that this will stop eventually. I hope it doesn't take to long, because it has taken a huge toll on my friendships and my relationship. Anxiety is hard enough to deal with, without something else making it worse for a few months
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