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I'm so glad to be reading these I stopped both control about 3 months ago , and the way I've been feeling I thought I was going crazy I have really bad headaches almost like my head is feeling fuzzy im super depressed or anxious even interested easily. But what I hate most is that I have no emotions. I was on them for 10 years and I just want to feel normal again.
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I'm doing a study looking at psychological correlation between individuals coming off the pill. Would it be possible for you to send me a copy of your investigation.
Many thanks
Christie
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I went on Orsythia in May of last year, my first time being on BC of any kind. About a month after I started taking it, I had my first panic attack (though I didn't know what to call it at the time.) The next five months were the worst months of my life. I began to be plagued by anxiety and depression, which I had never experienced before. I couldn't sleep; I was restless and irritable; I had horrible visions of everyone I loved dying; I had vague thoughts about pointlessness and death; I couldn't get through a day without crying.
This was a tumultuous time in my life for reasons besides the depression (I had just started grad school and moved away from my childhood home) so, for a long time, I didn't even consider that the pill could be causing it. I really believed I had discovered a latent mental illness, or just cracked under the new pressures of life (which, only a few months ago, I had thought of as exciting.) I started seeing a counselor and came extremely close to dropping out of school.
About two months into this, I realized the suspicious timing of my mental issues and starting the pill. Though I didn't believe the pill alone could be causing such a drastic change, I was looking for a physical clean slate, so I stopped taking it. Not long after that, I found this thread. I started to seriously wonder if it was possible that the Orsythia was behind everything.
Fast forward six months... and I'm completely fine. My anxiety and depression began to drop off about two months after stopping Orsythia, and now it is completely gone. I feel like my old self, and am working to make up for lost time. I now believe fully that the pill was the primary cause of my depression and anxiety. I am still shocked by the extremity of that experience and the way it unbalanced my life -- and amazed at the utterly casual way Orsythia was prescribed to me, with no discussion of possible side effects or warning about how long it takes, after stopping, for your natural cycle to resume.
I realize that the pill is a godsend for some women. But after the experience I had, and reading all of your stories, I cannot believe conversations about the safety of the pill are not more commonplace. Birth control didn't just cause me uncomfortable side effects -- it almost ruined my life. And now that I've had time to get my head around it, I want to talk about this with as many women as I can. At the very least, we all deserve to be educated about all of the effects of hormonal regulation on the female body, and to be informed of possible effects before we are prescribed the pill. Thank you all for sharing your stories -- you all helped clarify things when I was in a terrible place. And to those who are currently struggling with similar stuff, I would love to talk with you.
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I was going through this from April to oct of last year after Stopping birth control, due to a hormonal dependence to it ( made difficult decision to go off it after realizing the weeks I would go off it once a month were pure hell). It depleted by natural production of estrogen and progesterone basically completely. Finally got straight naturally on supplements, but my depression was a 10. It ruined my life for those months, months that should have been an amazing time in my life, and almost for good.
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For me, i started taking the pill back in May 2015, during my senior year of high school because i was having irregular cycles. While on the pill, i started to feel nauseous, really sensitive and insecure, spaced out and detached and as if my mind was fogged. I finished out the pill in June and stopped taking it after the end of June. That's when all hell broke loose. I developed really bad anxiety, everyday i felt detached, some times i even felt as if i were in a different body. I developed this really dark and hazy feeling in my head, I felt completely depressed, lost, and confused. All of a sudden I couldn't remember or recall anything. It felt like my entire life was wiped away. Over time the panic attacks decreased significantly, i pretty much only have racing heart beats when i think too hard, the brain fog decreased significantly (compared to how bad it was) but its still there and still unbearable. And also my memory has improved, but there are things I still have trouble recalling. I now have social anxiety, and I developed really bad anxiety, everyday i felt detached, some times i even felt as if i were in a different body. I feel like I developed body dismorphic disorder due to me becoming overly sensitive and insecure. I've kept a mood journal since the past few months. I have all these obsessive, negative thoughts. I've turned into a pessimist and I'm never happy. I was a very happy, bubbly and confident person but now i am scared to go out in public and speak to people. I haven't legitemately laughed since before the pill. It is now mid March 2016, (month 7) and reading all of my old journal entries, i can say that i have improved significantly, BUT, i still struggle everyday with depressive episodes, heavy brain fog, social anxiety, this new BDD, and unhappiness, to the point where i cannot bear. Some weeks are worse than others. Some weeks my depression is at the highest, even to the point where I had thoughts of suicide, and I felt so hopeless of ever getting better. I have no reason to feel this way, I enjoyed my life. But I know its hormonal, because when my period comes, I have depressive episodes for weeks when I just feel horrible. I've also been getting lots of painful breakouts, which i never had before and an annoying dark shadow above my lip. Over these last 2 or 3 months, my periodhas been lasting about 3 weeks long with a week of heavy spotting in between then it starts back again for another 3 weeks. After reading posts on this thread, many of the women say they've healed after 7-9 months but at this rate i don't feel myself healing in 9 months, if anything i feel like i may be getting worse in some ways. I still have hope though, i have came a long ways but some times I lose my mind and lose control of myself. I lost motivation, self will, strength, and confidence. I sometimes am very impulsive and eat or spend a lot for comfort. I can't seem to get myself to do ANYTHING. Some days I truly hate myself, and that's not at all who I am. It's a living hell and I've tried herbs and vitamins and they don't seem to help. All I can do is share my story and let you women know that it's not you, its your body, your hormones. You aren't alone and even though some days feel like the end of the world and out of control, you are improving
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