SEEN ON T-SHIRTS
>>
>>1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought
>>he was God and I didn't!
>>
>>2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
>>
>>3) I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
>>
>>4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
>>
>>5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
>>
>>6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
>>
>>7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
>>
>>8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
>>
>>9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
>>
>>10) Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
>>
>>11) I'm not a complete id**t, some parts are missing.
>>
>>12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>>
>>15) God must love stupid people, he made so many.
>>
>>16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
>>
>>17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.
>>
>>18) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
>>
>>19) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
>>
>>20) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
>>
>>24) Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam (seen on Cape Cod)
>>
>>26) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up
>>
>>27) Procrastinate Now
>>
>>28) Rehab Is for Quitters
>>
>>29) My Dog Can Lick Anyone
>>
>>32) Finally 21, and Legally Able To Do Everything I've Been Doing Since15
>>
>>33) West Virginia: One million people and 15 last names
>>
>>34) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.
>>
>>35) MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT
>>
>>37) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
>>
>>38) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
>>
>>40) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
>>
>>41) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead
>>
>>43) POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN . Cops have nothing to go on.
>>
>>44) FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
>>
>>45) HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH
>>
>>46) A PICTURE IS WORTH A 1000 WORDS, but it uses up a 1000 times
>>the memory.
>>
>>47) The Meek shall inherit the earth, after we're through with it.
>>
>>48) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
>>
>>49) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime
>>commitment for a pig.
>>
>>50) WELCOME TO SOUTH CAROLINA - Set your watch back 20 years.
>>
>>51) The trouble with life is there's no background music.
>>
>>53) The original "point and click interface" was a Smith &Wesson.
>><<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>
>>
>> Memoirs???
>>
>>Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs, and Hillary got
>>$8 million for hers. That's $20 million for two people who for
>>eight years repeatedly testified they couldn't remember anything.
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