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"Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoirs have
come out. So much of her personality shines
through, that in the end, you, too, will want to
sleep with an intern." - Craig Kilborn

"In Hillary Clinton's new book 'Living History,'
Hillary details what it was like meeting Bill
Clinton, falling in love with him, getting
married, and living a passionate, wonderful
life as husband and wife. Then on page two,
the trouble starts." - Jay Leno

"In the book she says when Bill told her he
was having an affair, she said 'I could hardly
breathe, I was gulping for air.' No, I'm sorry,
that's what Monica said." - David Letterman

"Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New
York, announced that she has no intentions of
ever, ever running for office of the President of
the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is
bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go
his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment
family." - David Letterman

"Last night, Senator Hillary Clinton hosted her
first party in her new home in Washington.
People said it was a lot like the parties she
used to host at the White House. In fact, even
the furniture was the same." - Jay Leno

"Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President
Bush for breaking his campaign promise to cut
carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made,
a promise broken. And then out of habit, she
demanded that Bush spend the night on the
couch." - Craig Kilborn

"CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most
admired woman in America.Women admire her because
she's strong and successful. Men admire her
because she allows her husband to cheat and get
away with it." - Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from
the great state of New York. When they
swore her in, she used the Clinton family
Bible.... the one with only seven commandments."
-David Letterman

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