Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

When I was young for about ten years I got into the habit of masurbation. I now realize that as I got older I was using that to cope with problems in life. I just read recently that if a person becomes addicted to drugs and uses to cope with problems at a young age he stops growing emotionaly when he starts using drugs to cope with problems in life. The article had a few examples of people that started using drugs in their early teens and said when they stopped using drugs in their 30's they were emotionaly in their teens. I feel that way. I have social phobia and can't really get close to people including my parents. How can I grow emotionaly and can I hope to have my emotional age catch up to my real age of 30? thank you for an answer. I feel that I 'm missing that key in my life.

Loading...

Hi Man-t, the only thing that drugs, booze, sex addiction stops is dealing with major issues. It's not so much about maturity it's just about coping that's all. Emotional maturity I suppose can be based on how you have learnt to deal with situations and how you view the world. Everyday you are bombarded with tv images about being happy, and happy people and socially active people, but is that the "norm" or is it more someone in their "40's" bein on line talking to people about their problems? You know what I mean! Everyone now adays feels like they have to live up to some sort of unatainable standard! And it is stressful! IF you really feel the need to be more emotional I would say volunteering would be your answer. Also looking at WHY you aren't very"intune" i.e. childhood trauma, lack of self worth etc. Volunteering for someone who is having a bad time can give you a different look on life. Driving a cancer patient to her/his apointments, delivering food for meals on wheels, food prep at homeless shelters etc. Anything that can show you people in bad ways, that need some help and tenderness from another human being. There are a LOT of lonely and needy people out there ALSO animal welfare too - working at the pound, human society etc. Seeing what "man" is truly capable of doing, can really open your eyes to true suffereing and thus help you have more compassion and really get intune with your emotional side. Many of us, ESPECIALLY men are taught to hide their feelings so you are definitely not alone in your feelings of being distant. But it can be changed, the only way to love someone is to love yourself. So don't be too hard on YOU, just open up and see what happens. Good Luck
Reply

Loading...

Man-t,

Welcome to the forum and I'm glad you found the courage to post this question. You will be able to grow emotionally because unlike drugs and alcohol, masturbation does not cause the physical damage to your brain that substances do. What I would recommend is to try and go back to when you first started masturbating. Did something bad in your life happen such as a death, divorce, or another type of traumatic event. Try and dig deep and find the root fo why you first started using masturbation as a coping mechanism. Go see a coounselor or trusted expert you can talk to.
Reply

Loading...