27yo here. I started klonopin 1mg 3x a day in 2006 for anxiety/panic attacks. I then stopped it in 08 for a little over a year. My child was diagnosed with a terminal illness which had my in the ER downstairs asking for the one drug I liked, the only one that helped me without many side effects. Klonopin. I got back on it after that and have been on it until recently.
I never really realized how stuck my body was on this benzo.
Benzo withdrawal is very dangerous, much more so than opiates, and today I know why. For its the first day I feel slightly better.
I averaged (and was written rx for) 3 to 4 mg a day. Sometimes I'd take six if I was extra stressed. I was calm, not high. I never understood the recreational value of Kpin because it didnt effect be like that. That didnt matter though , it already had its hold on my entire physical body inside and out.
This past year I knocked down to 3mg, then 2, then tried 1 but had immediate symptoms. I bumped up to 1.5 and have been in that for the last year or so.
I finally realized when talking about another child with my significant other the klonopin had to go, but even more so that I had been on the c**p for 6 years. Time to make a change.
I never missed a dose, the two times I did I thought I was going to die. I just felt gross, shakes, dizzy, confused, bad high, slurring... So id pop what I needed to.
Anyway. I stopped my klonopin cold turkey in the beginning of the month. My DR said 1.5 was small enough to cold turkey it. She was very very wrong.
I ended up with Benzo withdrawal syndrome. Senses heightened, muscles aching like a flu and twitching, skin crawling, couldn't cook, write, drive, speak properly, or function for that matter. I have literally felt insane, I've been in pain, I can't function around anyone correctly. This stuff destroyed such a huge part of my life.
I'm so lucky my other half was patient and understanding. I'm a depressed person, but withdrawal depression was very different. Strange thoughts, hallucinating, yes hallucinating, (seeing and hearing things) though I could tell reality from these for the most part. Very bad dreams. I'd cry for no reason, couldn't eat. Oh and sleep!!! NO Sleep, no rest. Just curling in a ball and waiting every second for my body to collapse before I make it!
Got pumped with Benadryl by IV and I felt even worse. Tried other Meds, luke for BP, nothing. My brain absolutely refused to shut down. Chills, bad sweats, tremors, teeth grinding, spasms, palpitations, high blood pressure, ireegular heart rate,waves of nausea, overall body pain, extreme headaches, the one person that saw me (outside my home) was my neighbor, and she basically said I looked like extreme c**p, in not as pleasant words.
I knew that if I had to endure the withdrawals for too long that I would take drastic measures to end it. I needed a safe secure place with someone I KNEW I could trust, so life's worries could be set aside for this. I quit smoking cigs at the sane time also. Couldn't tell you though, for all I noticed was Kpin Kpin Kpin.
I didn't feel remotely safe during my withdrawals, and I will never ever touch the sh*t or anything like it again.
I could go on and on, but if this helps anyone I'm happy.
Yes, first symptom is usually dizziness and a nasty feeling I can really word. It gets much much worse, and I am on around my 20th day today is the first day without a dizzy spell.
There's a lot to clean up from my klonopin use. In general it takes months to a year to reverse the changes klonopin induce. My DR agrees it'll be at least 6 months for me to have my "normal" speech back. It's not too noticeable, but klonopin withdrawal induced a kind of mini speech impediment with me. It did mildly during my years on it also. Regardless, 20 days is worth it to think clear again. I know that if I ever popped another it would be my death sentence. So not interested! It was a full on addiction to a drug I really never even abused and was prescribed.
Sum it up? Get the c**p outta your system, be with only a trusted person or they'll think you are a true psychopath, which won't help you one bit, since you'll be thinking the sand thing, and see a DR. Tell them the truth and end the madness. All I know is Ive felt very alone during this, it's not something people can understand unless they've been through it. Tell me I'm not alone!!!
It isn't worth it, not one fu#%^*+ bit.
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