Uhm so about two years ago me and my friend lost our virginities to each other. We were both drinking but regardless of being drunk it was insanely painful for me. We tried so many times because I thought I was being a wimp but the pain was horrible. So every time we would have sex I would be drunk, just so the pain would be less. We did attempt one or two times sober but not being very successful since I had to stop. I was with another person after him and it was still just as painful and of course I had drank again. I finally went to the OBGYN and realized my birth control was swelling up my glands causing the severe pain. After that I had two one night stands (I know, I regret it but you live and learn) both being drunk. I cant seem to get confident enough to be with anyone sober. I am absolutely terrified of sex now since I feel no one will understand that if I have sex with them sober it'll be like Im losing my virginity all over again. I have no idea how to over pass this hurdle. My best friend and I seem to be on a similar boat so I have someone to talk to but both of us have no idea what to do to get out of this. Its been almost a year since I've had sex since the next time it happens I want to be completely sober, but its so hard Im so tempted to take the easy way out and not deal with this emotionally. Any advise would be helpful really.