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Let's start from the beginning, I'm a 23 year old virgin living in a small town. As a kid I was really really fat, and at the age of 18 I was diagnosed with diabetes. This made me change my lifestyle quite drastically, I had to change my diet and I have to eat regularly on the hour. I also started to workout, either going to the gym, jogging or swimming. I'm not the fittest guy in the world and I don't have a six-pack but I'm not the fat kid anynore and I know logically that I'm atleast decent looking. But I still have problems looking in the mirror since all I see is that ugly fat guy I used to be.

When I was 19 I went to a party with a couple of friends where I meet a girl. We had alot of fun talking and I could tell she was intrestead in me. We decided to leave the party and go skinny dipping at the beach, I was really nervouse about it since I'm not what you would call well endowed (5.5 inches). But on our way to the beach she gave me my first kiss and we stopped several times to make out, and I felt like I started to lose control over what I was doing. The thing is she was kind of drunk, (not falling over drunk but definatly not sober) I on the other hand because of my diabetes can't drink alcohol anymore. Before we started skinny dipping I asked her if she wanted to stop since she had been drinking and I was sober, she answerd me by taking of all her clothes and after that my brain wouldn't let my resist. I still feel guilty about it because some part of me feel like I took advantage of her, but I couldn't helpmyself. I had never been so happy in my life, kissing a girl that was sitting naked on my lap while in the water. Because her and my friend was with us we didn't go all the way, but I didn't care. I tried contacting her a couple of days later and then she told me it was a nice evening but she didn't want to meet me. She also told me the reason was that I wasn't a good kisser and that she didn't want to teach me, when I told her she was my first kiss. Have u ever felt guilty for hooking up with or kissing a drunk girl when u where sober?

That really didn't help my confidence and to make matters worse I had developed a chronic condition called prostatitis which basically means almost every time I pee it feels like I'm peeing acid. And after an orgasm there is a 50/50 chance I will experience extreme pain. All this had made me really shy, and then I started my last year of high school. I actually got a couple of girl friends and I started to fall for a girl in my class. We could talk for hours everyday, but she had a boyfriend so I didn't want to cross that line. When see broke up with him I wanted to tell her how I felt but I was to late, after a month she started to date a good friend of mine. The rest of the school year went by with the love of my life beeing too far away. At the end of the school year I couldn't take it anymore, I told her how I felt. I said I didn't expect anything I just had to tell her, she was the first girl I had ever loved. Let's just say that not only didn't she respond to my feelings, but I lost one of the best friends I've ever had. That really made me feel guilty, and the thought of ever telling a girl how I feel really scares me.

I've always been kind of a nerdy guy, playing video games and reading comics etc. And it's really clear if u come to my home that I'm a nerd. I'm almost like lenoard from the big bang theory expect I'm not that smart. So if I ever get a girlfriend there are somethings about me she is just going to have to accept. But because of all of my other problems, I just wouldn't feel right about subjecting someone to the pain I have to live with everyday. There has been other girls and even some grown women that has come on to me, but I've been to scared about my kissing, beeing a virgin I know I'm going to suck, because of my size, the chance of pain, and I will probably not last long. And beeing a virgin for so long I don't feel like it would be right to lose it to some random drunk girl. I'm not saving myself for marrige or anything like that, but I would like to atleast have known the girl for more then five seconds. I recently met a gir that I thought could be perfect for me, we went out for a couple of times on what I thought were dates, but a couple of days ago she changed her facebook status to in a releationship with a guy I know. 

What kind of tips do u have for a guy like me to actually get a girlfriend?, a part of my feel like I don't deserve it, but I'm tired of beeing misrable, I want to be happy. I might get to a point where I will get desparet enough to just hook up with some random girl and pretend she cares about me but I'm not there yet. My birthday is coming up soon though and beeing without psyhical contact for so long is starting to get really hard. I just want a girl to share my life with, cuddle up in bed, and telling me she loves me. I had a dream about this recent girl last night and I woke up crying like a baby, it felt so good for a second to believe that someone was holding me and caring about me. I've actually considerd going to a prostitute, not for sex, but just laying on a bed and holding eachother. Should I just find some random girl to "train" with? So that I'm ready if I ever find someone that can love a guy like me. Cause honestly sex scares me, but I don't want to be bad if I find the right girl. 

Sorry for potential bad grammar, I'm on pain meds atm.

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Hi Christian,

You can't change the past.  OK, so you were a big kid growing up.  Now you've got things under control and are "decent looking" - your words.

As for your penis length, stop feeling sorry for yourself.  You are "average" for an adult male.  Yes.  5 - 5 1/2" is average.  Don't compare yourself to others, over anything. 

There is a term: body dysmorphic disorder.  Basically, you perceive yourself as being inferior.  It doesn't just mean physically it also means mentally.

So you are a self described nerd.  You just need to balance it.  Turn off the video games and get out.  Meet people.  I don't mean bar hopping or anything, just places you normally go.  How about church?  The laundromat, or even the comic book store.

The girl you are referring to when you were 19, forget about it.  It was a one time thing.  Seriously, you're a bad kisser?  Get over yourself lady.  What makes her that great a judge?  You confided in her and she took that and stabbed you in the heart with it.

Move on.  You can't live your life in the past.  Everyone has "issues" of some sort.  OK, you have prostatitis and diabetes.  The right women won't care one bit about that except to make sure that you are OK and healthy.

I would suggest you see a counselor.  Bring all this up to him/her when you are ready.  

Good luck.
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You can't keep dwelling in the past. The girl was being kinda rude and not everyone is born to kiss like a God so it should be expected that you'd be a little rusty seeing that you'd never kissed anyone prior to that point. Also one man trash might be another's treasure. She might have found your kissing lacking but someone else might find it perfect, so don't beat yourself up over your kissing skills. An illness chronic or otherwise is defiantly not the end of the world. It just takes some maneuvering so that should not be see as a hindrance or disability that should hold you from doing what you want. You seem like an average guy with a few quirks. There's nothing that should hold you back from getting a girl. Just put yourself out there and find a girl who is patient and is will to take it slow with a novice. There are girls like that out there. Try a convention or a store that sells something you're into ie video games or comics or other nerdy things. I'm sure they're just as nervous and eager as you. A mate should make sure you're comfortable and accommodated for so if that person can't do that for you then they're not the one for you. Also you can't let the loneliness get to you. You seem like a passionate person, channel all that lonely energy into something productive while you seek out a mate. Join a club, make art, read, game, socialize. When you start doing things, you get less lonely and maybe you'll even meet someone. Don't dwell on the negative. The fact that you asked the girl if she wanted to stop shows that you are a decent human being, so there, that's something positive about you, now go from there. Don't dwell on the past, do something to occupy your mind, don't dwell on the negative, and get out and live life. You're being way to hard on yourself and making things bigger than they are. Lighten up a bit to, girls don't like it when boys are too critical. 5in penises are definitely the average so it's no worries. Hope I helped, good luck. Ps get a boost of confidence.
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not being funny i cryed a bit im so soft!
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same here, may i know your exact problem?
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