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hiya,,im 29yrs an come from a family with alcohol an drug abuse. i myself was hooked on drink at an early age an marajuana soon followed..before i had my kids i cudn wait 2 finish work 2 jus chillax with a bottle..i cudn cope with d stress of worryin bout my family members..always tryna commit suicide,,ringing me an tellin me wat d were gona do..u al no wat comes wit alcoholics,,fighting, lying and so on..plz forgive me if i am rambling on ere am new 2 dis online stuff.....its so hard 2 watch ur parents, who done d very best  for u despite being alcoholics, wanting 2 die, even now we have 2 get up at all hrs an go wen we get a call dat they r tryin it again r d had a bad fall etc.. d stress alone is jus hell.ya dnt no wen ul find dem dead..after i had my kids i was still fond of d drink and hash ,quite a few close relatives of mine died 3 from suicide an my gran an aunt from health probs all died 2yrs apart..it nearly killed me coz they were my rock wen i cudnt handle tings..up until 3yr ago i jus drank meself silly at least 4days a wk..til i just realised 1 day dat i was goin down dat same old road dat i swore i wud never go down r let my kids have dat sort of life..n jus like dat i stopped..was hard but i did it.!! i suffer wit bad anxiety an wen i look back i tink i always have..a friend of mine suggested salpadeine for my headaches and dat was it..i was hooked from day one!!! sorriest day of my life was takin dem..d instant relief,dat warm funny feelin i cnt describe..started off wit 8 a day..den it increased to 14-15 a day..sumtimes 3 at a tym every 2 -3 hrs..plus im hooked on red bull and coke..wud drink at least 2 red bull daily n a 2ltr coke daily..plus coffee..iwent from 1 exterme 2 another..  cant go a day without solp..i did stop for about a month  n swore after wat i went tru 2 get off dem an d coke n red bull dat i wud never go back 2 it..but here i am back 2 square 1 again..was prescribed xanax 2 help keep calm wit d family problems..and am hooked on dem aswell..tried 2 stop solp and xanax together and omg! i thought i was goin crazy..so jus went back on dem..sum days r not 2 bad i cud jus take 6-8 it jus depends on my mood each day..i have such an addictive personality im afraid 2 try new tings coz i no wat will happen..if u can understand wat i mean..im jus existing not living..an i hate it..i love the fizz in dem..but den the guilt i feel after takin dem kills me but jus doesnt stop me..im afraid off what il feel like wen i stop takin all dis stuff..like who i will b as a person an will i b able 2 cope wit all d madness in my life..solp helps numb it all but obviously its making me feel more sick dan good..guys i no i rambled on a bit..but id love 2 no if tings do get better wen u stop r is d cravings always on your shoulder..need 2 stop living in dis hell once an for all..

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hi guys jus wundrin cud anyone help me on dis :$ wud realy appreciate any advice.

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