Hi, I've recently been feeling bad about the fact i didn't have sex until 22, and even then there were problems with having full intercourse with the girl I was with. I got my first relationship for one year at the age of 11 to 12, and with it my first passionate kiss and cuddle. But then I hit the teens and it seemed to hit my like a ton of bricks that I barely recovered from. Just seemed to lose any ability to talk to girls throughout my teen years, became self conscious and lacked confidence and all that. Those hormones are supposed to gear us up for being able to do all this girl sex stuff right? haha what a joke, doesn't quite always work right :-)
So anyway, kissed quite a few girl during my teens and had a chance to have sex at 16 with a girl who kissed and hugged me, but I didn't have the confidence to kiss her back and it may have turned out to be sex, but overall I was never really able to talk to them and didn't get a girlfriend until 22. Since that age everything's been great, and never been without a great girl, the girls seem to think I'm great and started seeing an amazing 18 year old now that I'm 26, just makes me wish I was currently 18 and i can't understand why i couldn't have got such a great girl back then as it all seems so easy now. %-)
So it's something I don't quite understand considering the start and that I'm not that bad looking. So what are your opinions on losing it at 22? So I'm currently seeing this fairly sexually experienced 18 year old, and this has somehow brought back these bad feelings of failure, because her age reminds me of me at that age, I was te complete opposite, not sexually experienced at all. So she reminds me of that. Even though mostly she makes me feel great. I think it's probably just psychological with it being a bit over the age of 20, like some sort of milestone. It's not that far off 16-18 when most people first have sex. What do you think about this, anyone with any similar experience? I do think I'm overreacting, but it's difficult to change the way I'm thinking. >;) o.O
So anyway, kissed quite a few girl during my teens and had a chance to have sex at 16 with a girl who kissed and hugged me, but I didn't have the confidence to kiss her back and it may have turned out to be sex, but overall I was never really able to talk to them and didn't get a girlfriend until 22. Since that age everything's been great, and never been without a great girl, the girls seem to think I'm great and started seeing an amazing 18 year old now that I'm 26, just makes me wish I was currently 18 and i can't understand why i couldn't have got such a great girl back then as it all seems so easy now. %-)
So it's something I don't quite understand considering the start and that I'm not that bad looking. So what are your opinions on losing it at 22? So I'm currently seeing this fairly sexually experienced 18 year old, and this has somehow brought back these bad feelings of failure, because her age reminds me of me at that age, I was te complete opposite, not sexually experienced at all. So she reminds me of that. Even though mostly she makes me feel great. I think it's probably just psychological with it being a bit over the age of 20, like some sort of milestone. It's not that far off 16-18 when most people first have sex. What do you think about this, anyone with any similar experience? I do think I'm overreacting, but it's difficult to change the way I'm thinking. >;) o.O
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I felt the same way although I am a girl. I lost my virginity at the age of 19 but it was only for the sex thing, nothing else and I haven’t had proper sex until I was 22. Hormones are weird and the way you felt shy is not abnormal and lack of confidence is also not abnormal.
I wasn’t shy with guys and I had plenty of guys but none of the relationships were real and I never felt secure with any of these guys so that o could have normal sex until I found a great guy who was experienced and who didn’t mind that I wasn’t. Now, everything’s great.
I myself have those thoughts that it would be better if I had sex earlier, I would have more experience with different guys and not just one but then I remember how I felt then and I know that even though I wanted to have sex, I didn’t feel like it whenever I had the opportunity. I guess that we can’t change the way we are.
Most kids today don’t really think. I see immature 14 year olds having sex. In my opinion 16 is also too early for a girl.
I wasn’t shy with guys and I had plenty of guys but none of the relationships were real and I never felt secure with any of these guys so that o could have normal sex until I found a great guy who was experienced and who didn’t mind that I wasn’t. Now, everything’s great.
I myself have those thoughts that it would be better if I had sex earlier, I would have more experience with different guys and not just one but then I remember how I felt then and I know that even though I wanted to have sex, I didn’t feel like it whenever I had the opportunity. I guess that we can’t change the way we are.
Most kids today don’t really think. I see immature 14 year olds having sex. In my opinion 16 is also too early for a girl.
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Thanks for the reply. So you feel really bad about it or what? I actually didn't have 'proper sex' until 24, as at 22 we did everything and the intercourse bit was lacking as my penis wouldn't go in fully. But i believe i lost my virginity there technically. I'm seeing a girl now who is 18 and she's had sex with quite a few guys now and i think this is why I'm suddenly feeling so bad at the moment. Even though in every other way she makes me feel great. I was sat at work today and can't explain how bad I felt, lack of sleep didn't help too, it's probably a deeper problem with me as sometimes i feel like I've ruined the future because simply of not having sex earlier. It was different for me as I couldn't talk to girl, despite having kissed about 7 or 8 girls in my teens, it was either a dare in class at school, in a nightclub drunk, or the girl i went out with for a year early on. So it wasn't my choice to wait, it was really extremely unlucky. Only had one or two half chances where if I'd spoken to the girl, it might have turned into sex. The problems magnified for me at the moment, sometimes I think it's ok, then my thoughts will change to deep, dark and despairing. You were 19, I remember at that age I was rejected by a girl I really liked, that knocked me back for a few months. please excuse the waffling here. So tell me more about how you feel, anything like me, or maybe I'm just a special case?? lol 8-| >:( :-D
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Well Andy,
if it makes you feel any better, I didnt have sex until I was 26. Yes, really old. And I understand exactly your feeling. I am also not that bad looking (female, 176cm, slim), but I live in Hong Kong and no guys here want a caucasian girl. Few guys who did approach me where in it just for the sex, and I didnt want that. At 26, I couldnt handle it anymore. I thought...10 years after my 1st kiss, its about time to get it over with. Met this guy with whom there seemed to be a connection and it happened. Stayed with him about 1 year. When he broke up with me, he said he didnt believe I was a virgin then, even though I had told him I was. Just because I could do about anything else sex related he couldnt make his brain understand I actually never had intercourse. anyways, now, at 29, I've had a few other guys and am steady for nearly 1.5 year with a great great guy (and we have AMAZING sex).
I know that when I ssee younger ppl dating and knowing they have sex makes me feel like I missed my life as well, that it was a "burden" I was carrying. Even at the doctors, he would ask me 3 times if I was sexually active and each time I said no, I mean how bad does THAT make you feel when even your doc seems surprised!!! There was an age when I felt it was too late, because all guys would expect me to have sex, but I got scared as soon as they got too close. it was a vicious cycle.
Maybe I havent been sexually active very long, but I have a friend whose gfriend is 19 and after 1 year with him her sex drive is down low, like sh'es used up her sex potential or something, and she' s active for a while now. In a way you have "protected" yourself from un-necessary youth heartbreaks. and for once, you are a responsible guy, you waited to have a girl you really cared about, and you werent in it for just the sex!
It is too late to regret the past, it is our own story, we've made it our path in life, it doesnt mean the other who started earlier will be more happy with their choices.
if it makes you feel any better, I didnt have sex until I was 26. Yes, really old. And I understand exactly your feeling. I am also not that bad looking (female, 176cm, slim), but I live in Hong Kong and no guys here want a caucasian girl. Few guys who did approach me where in it just for the sex, and I didnt want that. At 26, I couldnt handle it anymore. I thought...10 years after my 1st kiss, its about time to get it over with. Met this guy with whom there seemed to be a connection and it happened. Stayed with him about 1 year. When he broke up with me, he said he didnt believe I was a virgin then, even though I had told him I was. Just because I could do about anything else sex related he couldnt make his brain understand I actually never had intercourse. anyways, now, at 29, I've had a few other guys and am steady for nearly 1.5 year with a great great guy (and we have AMAZING sex).
I know that when I ssee younger ppl dating and knowing they have sex makes me feel like I missed my life as well, that it was a "burden" I was carrying. Even at the doctors, he would ask me 3 times if I was sexually active and each time I said no, I mean how bad does THAT make you feel when even your doc seems surprised!!! There was an age when I felt it was too late, because all guys would expect me to have sex, but I got scared as soon as they got too close. it was a vicious cycle.
Maybe I havent been sexually active very long, but I have a friend whose gfriend is 19 and after 1 year with him her sex drive is down low, like sh'es used up her sex potential or something, and she' s active for a while now. In a way you have "protected" yourself from un-necessary youth heartbreaks. and for once, you are a responsible guy, you waited to have a girl you really cared about, and you werent in it for just the sex!
It is too late to regret the past, it is our own story, we've made it our path in life, it doesnt mean the other who started earlier will be more happy with their choices.
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recently just herd two 14 Y.o discussing sex...And it got me thinking that I in my 16 was so far away from thinking that it is somehow possible to have sex: it was all big TABOOO, no touching, a thread of unwanted pregnancy, AIDS and STD...And what. people wait till they become more mature...and that when they finally do it...I think we do the same mistakes as 14 or 16 years old, and have the same feelings also.
I think for men in general the age of first sex goes under motto "the sooner the better" unless they have been havily brainwashed by pearents or just dangerously shy....
For girls is quite a different thing: it is like "shall be with the right guy, in the right place, and the love shall be etrernal.." And I do not know about all "sexual revolution thing"...I mean for a girl to stop been a virgin is still much a bigger deal that for guys...hopefully it will change some day.
If I could turn back the time, I woulndt wait to loose the charries...and would take sex more like a sport.
I think for men in general the age of first sex goes under motto "the sooner the better" unless they have been havily brainwashed by pearents or just dangerously shy....
For girls is quite a different thing: it is like "shall be with the right guy, in the right place, and the love shall be etrernal.." And I do not know about all "sexual revolution thing"...I mean for a girl to stop been a virgin is still much a bigger deal that for guys...hopefully it will change some day.
If I could turn back the time, I woulndt wait to loose the charries...and would take sex more like a sport.
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Well, I'm a 19 year "old" man, never kissed a girl, never had a girlfriend... never. I'm not holding me back nor am I really shy. During the last 4 years I've become less less shy, caus of a girl I really liked. She didn't want me, so I tried everything to please her. No, I didn't change my personnality, I just grew up, I think...
What I want to say is, I really like girls, but the only one I'm talking a bit more is this girl I "was" loving (sounds still strange, the past tense...). There are a few others that I really like, but I think I'm still too shy to even get in conversation with them. Or is it just because I fear to be rejected a second time??? I dunno... Or maybe it is because I think they are too beautiful to be with a guy like me... Nevertheless, I really want a girlfriend, but I don't want a random one, I'm very selective :S (normally I shouldn't, I'm not really the best looking (a bit too thin).
A friend of a friend of mine is always asking me if I finally got a girlfriend. But everytime I see him, well, the answer is no. He's 16... young and stupid... he says I should go take one, but I don't care! I'm just a guy who thinks that being with someone isn't just a game. It takes time to know who you really like, and if you want it to last, you'd be better wait a bit longer before doing something that could turn things wrong. Sure, I should try and not hold me back, but what should I do? I've an idealogy, I don't want to play that game most teenagers play: Go out with one, lasts twoo weeks, then the second, etc... damn, I just don't get it, I think that's a bit stupid. But okay, you can learn from it, experience...
What do you think about that?
I think I won't have a girlfriend for a long time (till I'm about... 25-26?) The first will certainly not be the one... nor the second... (ok you never know, but generally... it aren't the first) Sad :-( I can't find THE ONE now... I just can't choose randomly a person to have a relationship with, that's logic. But infact I really want to find someone to be with... :'(
So what I want to answer you is, I think it isn't important WHEN you lost your virginity (okok I'm still young, I can't know what you feel, you'll say) but I think it's more important to have his first time with a person you really like and know alot of him/her. So I think your experience is better than the one you could make at an age of 16-20.
I won't pretend to know what you're feeling, I've not made such an experience. But I want to say: be happy with what you got! Better get happy late than never! You surely would have been dissapointed if it had happened sooner! I'm sure! Just enjoy it! (LUCKY GUY! :-D ) And every time you feel sad about it, just think of me, still waiting ;-)
What I want to say is, I really like girls, but the only one I'm talking a bit more is this girl I "was" loving (sounds still strange, the past tense...). There are a few others that I really like, but I think I'm still too shy to even get in conversation with them. Or is it just because I fear to be rejected a second time??? I dunno... Or maybe it is because I think they are too beautiful to be with a guy like me... Nevertheless, I really want a girlfriend, but I don't want a random one, I'm very selective :S (normally I shouldn't, I'm not really the best looking (a bit too thin).
A friend of a friend of mine is always asking me if I finally got a girlfriend. But everytime I see him, well, the answer is no. He's 16... young and stupid... he says I should go take one, but I don't care! I'm just a guy who thinks that being with someone isn't just a game. It takes time to know who you really like, and if you want it to last, you'd be better wait a bit longer before doing something that could turn things wrong. Sure, I should try and not hold me back, but what should I do? I've an idealogy, I don't want to play that game most teenagers play: Go out with one, lasts twoo weeks, then the second, etc... damn, I just don't get it, I think that's a bit stupid. But okay, you can learn from it, experience...
What do you think about that?
I think I won't have a girlfriend for a long time (till I'm about... 25-26?) The first will certainly not be the one... nor the second... (ok you never know, but generally... it aren't the first) Sad :-( I can't find THE ONE now... I just can't choose randomly a person to have a relationship with, that's logic. But infact I really want to find someone to be with... :'(
So what I want to answer you is, I think it isn't important WHEN you lost your virginity (okok I'm still young, I can't know what you feel, you'll say) but I think it's more important to have his first time with a person you really like and know alot of him/her. So I think your experience is better than the one you could make at an age of 16-20.
I won't pretend to know what you're feeling, I've not made such an experience. But I want to say: be happy with what you got! Better get happy late than never! You surely would have been dissapointed if it had happened sooner! I'm sure! Just enjoy it! (LUCKY GUY! :-D ) And every time you feel sad about it, just think of me, still waiting ;-)
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Um..I'm going to be 22 next month and I haven't even had a real first kiss, no boyfriend, nothing. And so who actually cares! More power to ya if you didn't lose your virginity in high school. Teenagers shouldn't be doing that stuff. I plan on waiting until I'm at least engaged. And of course nothing will happen until a guy actually becomes part of the picture...yeah. Yeah, I just am to busy to have a boyfriend or even to consider it...and it doesn't seem fair to have a boyfriend...considering I'm not out to just have a boyfriend. I haven't lived in a single location for a year...I move about...I'm not done with college, I want to start a career...guys can wait...it's not like they're going anywhere. SO I think you're totally just overreacting with the I feel "old" because I didn't do it until 22...you're not old. And it's better to wait...why everyone has to go off and have sex is beyond me.
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well as for me i will support a gurl loosin her virginity to the right guy,a guy who will love her & treat her like a queen,not a guy who is actually in for da sex thin & at da end of da day treat her like a b***h.i will actually say its necessary for a guy to be sexually active as early as 14yrs coz dat will make him man enough & satisfyin for any gurl.i cant marry a guy who will get tired after 10mins into sex,HELL NO.i love guys dat are very xperienced & have great skills in da business.As for da guy who is feelin bad about da age stuff,i will just advice u 2 continue wit life,dont think about da past coz u aint gonna do anythin about it,its happened & gone already,but da question is if u are truly in love wit ur gurl,just let da past go.at least u guys should be avin a good time now.so dont let dat bother u.im turnin 21 very soon & im still a VIRGIN.I gat a guy who has bin into da business for 10yrs but he must understand im not ready for it yet.i dont care if he get it else where.
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I had just lost mine and I'm 22! It was weird and I was trying to obsorb the whole thing but I dont think it was all that great at first. Practice makes perfect so dont worry! I think everyones time comes they just need to get out there a bit and find it sometimes its not going to come to you on a silver plater - the guy i did it with did not exactly come on a silver plater either. i had to boast up my confidence and waahlaa we had sex. ahaha you'll get their kiddo you'll get there!
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I lost mine on my 13th birthday and I regret it. Considering I am now 20 and I dident start enjoying sex until this past year and I have had a very eventful sex life since I lost my virginity. If you have not lost your virginity yet, then good for you, everything is better when you're older anyways
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No matter what age you will feel bad about it. I lost mine at 16 and totally regret it. A horrible experience with a guy who could have cared less about me. I just wish I could have waited for Mr right. There would have been no better feeling than to have been a virgin for the man I am with now. But at the time I thought it didn't matter because I would never find him.
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Hello,
I had the same problem to where my now wife was considering not being with me just for the fact that she had great sex before me (even though it was only with the one guy and approx 10 times) and i couldnt make her cum. Basically I was a dud and it shattered me, but i needed to hear it (It took her a while to say anything to me as she did not want to hurt me). It was the best thing that ever happened to me, It brought open the communication lines immensely, I was able to look into what I was doing wrong and read on what to do. There is so many books at your local book store and on the internet on what to do. I told her what i was doing and she was impressed with it and the results were even better. Best of all, she is now my wife so I must be doing something right now. She now cums in no time / very quickly and way before me.
I had the same problem to where my now wife was considering not being with me just for the fact that she had great sex before me (even though it was only with the one guy and approx 10 times) and i couldnt make her cum. Basically I was a dud and it shattered me, but i needed to hear it (It took her a while to say anything to me as she did not want to hurt me). It was the best thing that ever happened to me, It brought open the communication lines immensely, I was able to look into what I was doing wrong and read on what to do. There is so many books at your local book store and on the internet on what to do. I told her what i was doing and she was impressed with it and the results were even better. Best of all, she is now my wife so I must be doing something right now. She now cums in no time / very quickly and way before me.
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