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While research suggests that some people are more prone to developing addictions than others, it's probably fair to say that all humans have certain vices or habits that we might call addictions. If you're a smoker, boozer, gambler, on drugs, or even addicted to shopping, you are aware that you have, at the very least, a habit. Some addictions might fool you into thinking that you are simply living life, though. That is where things can get tricky.
Addicted To Love?
A great many people believe they aren't complete until they have found that man or woman of their dreams; "the one" who will love them forever. Others might not be looking for something quite that permanent, but still don't feel well unless they are seeing someone. It's human nature to want a partner, and simply looking for real love or just real lust can't really be considered an addiction.
The trouble starts when you find yourself stuck in relationships that are bad for you, time and time again. You may think that gal or guy is great for you at the start, but weeks, months or years later you realize that your current relationship is eerily similar to the last one.
Laura married her High School sweetheart at a young age, and they had two kids during the 15 years they lived together. Her husband was, Laura says, absolutely great in the beginning. Then, he started drinking. Laura noticed that he never spent time with the kids, and refused to do anything around the house. Things went downhill quickly when he started hitting her. She contemplated staying with him "for the kids", but Laura simply couldn't handle it any longer, and they eventually got divorced.
A year later, she met someone else at a concert and they started seeing each other. The guy was unemployed but otherwise great. Until she noticed that he drank too much and he, too, became violent — just after she asked him to move in with her about eight months into the relationship. It took her a year to kick him out, but that wasn't the end of the story. The same thing happened twice more before Laura decided to quit love altogether until she could find out what was wrong with her.
Thomas was a decent guy who wanted to find a girl to settle down and have kids with. The strong, independent women he fell for seemed to be perfect. Whenever he found a girl, Thomas was sure that she would be the one he'd go down on one knee for. The problem was that they seemed to have other ideas: the women Thomas chose didn't want to settle down yet, and always ran away when things got a little "too serious". By the time he was in his late thirties, Thomas was single again and wondering if he'd ever get married and have kids.