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I wept - felt horrible - hated myself. But that really wasn't anything new.
It has been several years of much, much, MUCH better mental health. I take my little dose daily.
Wishing you all the best.
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I was on lexapro for over 10 years. Highest dose i was ever on was 15mg but usually stayed at 10mg. I started it while I was already on Wellbutrin and having issues with anxiety, pamic attacks and insomnia. Lexapro seemed to stop my panic attacks. Eventually i stopped taking Wellbutrin.
When i would feel good I would go down to 5mg. 4 seperate times I tried to wean off the drug completely. Each time I would get so much anxiety and return of panic and gastro issues. They would deter me from continuing and I would go back on thinking I was not well amd needed the lexapro. Never once did I think I was addicted or going through withdrawal.
I was finally able to lower myself to 5mg every other day during pregnany and wean off to breastfeed. It took me months but it happened slow and easily. But I was on Zofran for morning sickness which stops nausea and constipates you so I felt great. I started taking B12 and vitamin D which helped. My baby is now 10 months and I go back to work in 2 months and was starting to feel anxious. Once more Dr gave me Lexapro.
I took 5 mg and was up few hours that night sick. Had to take a tranquilizer to calm down. I skipped a day and took 5mg and then that night was up from 1am to 7am sick. So i decided I would try taking 2.5mg but I waited 2 days. I took 2.5mg but was so sick again. Then I repeated next day. I could not tolerate it as I had nighttime diarrhea, severe nausea, panic attacks. Felt like my heart would jump out of my chest. I literally would jump out of the bed if I was sleeping and felt like running in fear. I wanted to go to ER as felt like I was dying but I knew it was panic.
So i stopped and I have been sick for 2 weeks since last dose. Today is the first day I did not feel nauseous all day and its day 15 since last dose. I stopped having panic attacks at night a few days ago. I refuse to ever take that drug again. I feel like it gave more anxiety than I ever had in my life. To get through the last 2 weeks I have been using Meclizine, Ativan .5mg during panic episodes, gaviscon and gastrolyte for diarrhea. The ativan saved me but I only take it if necessary. Havent not taken for 3 days now. I think I just need to go through this and get the drug out of my system. I want to do a liver cleanse at some pount when I get better to ensure its gone.
So I am hoping with therapy, exercise, vitamins and proper diet I can get well. Hang in there and take peace in knowing it will pass. I read lots of forums and some ppl go off lexapro no problems, others have so many issues lasting from a week to months. All reputable sites say it should take weeks to come out of system. But just as when you go on them it takes 6-8 weeks to get on I think to at least give yourself that to say its out of system. As for long term effects, I am sure there are some. Your brain was being fed chemicals for so long it doesnt know how to create them its self when you go off. It takes time to heal.
Important part of message is even addicts who are on horribly addicting drugs have horrible withdrawal and difficulty coming off drugs so end up back on as withdrawal is hell. Best to have Dr supervise and do it as slow as possible.
Good luck and best wishes to all of you going through this....sending hugs
Belle
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