TAG, I hope you're doing well but now. I had the procedure last Thanksgiving and I'm so glad I had it done I can't even describe. I never think about anything related to my diet and bowl habits anymore. I'm back to when I was a teenager! LOL! I know you're in pain now but just know that there's light at the end of the tunnel and it's well worth the scenery on the other side!!! Get well soon! :)
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I had my hemorrhoidectomy on Friday. I had mixed (internal and external) at Grade IV. The doctor told me this surgery would hurt like hell. When it was over, he said he cut off a LOT, but left the wounds open. He emphasized again that I was going to be in a lot of pain. He said it was extremely important to take ibuprofen regularly to help with the inflammation. In fact, I was given 800 mg of IV ibuprofen before the surgery.
I came out of the propofol and fentanyl haze very quickly, was clear-headed, wide awake and not in pain at all. I felt completely normal except for the blood-catching pad I was wearing. Apparently, the numbing agent they used was very long lasting. I wish I'd known that. I was taking my oxycodone to stay ahead of the pain, as the doc recommended, but all I managed to do the first two days was constipate myself more and be too high to do much. The numbing agent had worn off by Saturday but I still wasn't in pain. Had no trouble sleeping - except to wake up once to take ibuprofen. I thought for sure Saturday would be the day I'd have that first post-op BM and I definitely didn't want to do that drug-free.
I'd had my last "good" dinner Wednesday night, then took it light, using my fiber and starting on stool softeners. I had stocked up on bread for toast, applesauce, chicken broth and fluids, expecting to have post-op diet restrictions. But the surgeon said I didn't have to be on any special diet, so long as I kept up with my fiber. I don't think that's good advice and I wish I'd stuck to applesauce and V8 juice instead of indulging in Chinese food and other goodies.
Saturday came and went without a BM. By Sunday, I was in pain because waste had begun collecting in my rectum, pressing against the wound. To my horror, I began leaking feces, so pads were no good, because I'd only use them for about 10 minutes before I had to change them. So I began using gauze or tissues or TP along with the pad to catch the leakage. I was getting desperate and really wanted to do a Fleet enema, but not before I spoke to the doctor's office. I continued with fluids, fiber, oral stool softeners and milk of magnesia. Sunday came and went without a BM. I knew I'd have to call the office today (Monday.)
The doctor was unavailable, but I spoke to a nurse, who advised against the enema, recommending a Dulcolax suppository instead. Well, that worked. But oh my - the PAIN. The urge hit roughly 15 minutes after insertion, but I spent about an hour in the bathroom. I HAD to use the sitz bath tub, which IS gross, so I changed the water frequently. You're not supposed to push, strain or hold your breath, but nothing substantial was going to happen unless I did push - this is why I think the diet restrictions should be in place. I never wanted diarrhea so badly in all my life. The pain knocked the wind out of me, but I just made sure to keep breathing - just like childbirth, as somebody mentioned. I kept getting little tiny bits, which was discouraging, but finally managed to force out a substantial amount. I soaked for a little while after that and then took a nice, hot shower.
The stimulant laxative suppository has other side effects. Dizziness, sweating and some cramping. I did think I might pass out. Patients should be advised not to be alone until BMs occur without such trouble. As I went through that hour of pain, I thought this should be in-patient and, "Oh no, am I going to have to call 911???" But now that I have PASSED that first milestone (pun intended) the surgical site is definitely more sore, but I feel a lot of internal relief. I'm also over the fear that I just can't go to the bathroom like a big girl. I can! Hopefully, the next few milestones won't be so difficult.
Unlike others, I've had no trouble urinating. The fecal leakage has been disconcerting, which is why I'd love to use the Fleet, but I imagine this problem will subside as I heal and bowels move more normally. As of now, I have no idea when I can go back to work - either job. One is in a medical office and the other is waiting tables. The first job is not physically demanding and I can change my gauze without attracting attention - but I cannot run around at the restaurant. It's just not the kind of job that gives you the time for self-care that I need.
I did take a look at the surgical site the day I had the procedure. Except for some swollen areas, which I hope will go away, it is a vast improvement. There is a LOT of bruising, though. I've been wondering why I let myself go through this hell, but I'm hoping that once I heal, there will be no complications and my life WILL change. No more having to plan my day around a BM. Cleaning the area has been a huge problem - even with wipes. I adjusted myself to go first thing in the a.m., before my shower, and then I'd be set for the day. I probably should have done this 18 years ago - after the birth of my second child - since it was pregnancy which caused my hemorrhoids in the first place. Then again, I can't see how I could have afforded the recovery time then. At 46, I'm glad this surgery is BEHIND me. Hoping to feel more freedom and my big incentive: more sexy.
This means staying on the fiber regimen and never, ever having enough time in the bathroom to read or surf the net on my phone. I never want to go through this surgery again - well, put it this way. I didn't mind the surgery. It's the RECOVERY I don't want to deal with. With any luck, I won't have to have baby wipes stocked up anymore. I'd like to be a normal person who can get by on plain ol' toilet paper. Most of all, I hope my recovery doesn't take as long as some people's!
A Metamucil toast to all.
I came out of the propofol and fentanyl haze very quickly, was clear-headed, wide awake and not in pain at all. I felt completely normal except for the blood-catching pad I was wearing. Apparently, the numbing agent they used was very long lasting. I wish I'd known that. I was taking my oxycodone to stay ahead of the pain, as the doc recommended, but all I managed to do the first two days was constipate myself more and be too high to do much. The numbing agent had worn off by Saturday but I still wasn't in pain. Had no trouble sleeping - except to wake up once to take ibuprofen. I thought for sure Saturday would be the day I'd have that first post-op BM and I definitely didn't want to do that drug-free.
I'd had my last "good" dinner Wednesday night, then took it light, using my fiber and starting on stool softeners. I had stocked up on bread for toast, applesauce, chicken broth and fluids, expecting to have post-op diet restrictions. But the surgeon said I didn't have to be on any special diet, so long as I kept up with my fiber. I don't think that's good advice and I wish I'd stuck to applesauce and V8 juice instead of indulging in Chinese food and other goodies.
Saturday came and went without a BM. By Sunday, I was in pain because waste had begun collecting in my rectum, pressing against the wound. To my horror, I began leaking feces, so pads were no good, because I'd only use them for about 10 minutes before I had to change them. So I began using gauze or tissues or TP along with the pad to catch the leakage. I was getting desperate and really wanted to do a Fleet enema, but not before I spoke to the doctor's office. I continued with fluids, fiber, oral stool softeners and milk of magnesia. Sunday came and went without a BM. I knew I'd have to call the office today (Monday.)
The doctor was unavailable, but I spoke to a nurse, who advised against the enema, recommending a Dulcolax suppository instead. Well, that worked. But oh my - the PAIN. The urge hit roughly 15 minutes after insertion, but I spent about an hour in the bathroom. I HAD to use the sitz bath tub, which IS gross, so I changed the water frequently. You're not supposed to push, strain or hold your breath, but nothing substantial was going to happen unless I did push - this is why I think the diet restrictions should be in place. I never wanted diarrhea so badly in all my life. The pain knocked the wind out of me, but I just made sure to keep breathing - just like childbirth, as somebody mentioned. I kept getting little tiny bits, which was discouraging, but finally managed to force out a substantial amount. I soaked for a little while after that and then took a nice, hot shower.
The stimulant laxative suppository has other side effects. Dizziness, sweating and some cramping. I did think I might pass out. Patients should be advised not to be alone until BMs occur without such trouble. As I went through that hour of pain, I thought this should be in-patient and, "Oh no, am I going to have to call 911???" But now that I have PASSED that first milestone (pun intended) the surgical site is definitely more sore, but I feel a lot of internal relief. I'm also over the fear that I just can't go to the bathroom like a big girl. I can! Hopefully, the next few milestones won't be so difficult.
Unlike others, I've had no trouble urinating. The fecal leakage has been disconcerting, which is why I'd love to use the Fleet, but I imagine this problem will subside as I heal and bowels move more normally. As of now, I have no idea when I can go back to work - either job. One is in a medical office and the other is waiting tables. The first job is not physically demanding and I can change my gauze without attracting attention - but I cannot run around at the restaurant. It's just not the kind of job that gives you the time for self-care that I need.
I did take a look at the surgical site the day I had the procedure. Except for some swollen areas, which I hope will go away, it is a vast improvement. There is a LOT of bruising, though. I've been wondering why I let myself go through this hell, but I'm hoping that once I heal, there will be no complications and my life WILL change. No more having to plan my day around a BM. Cleaning the area has been a huge problem - even with wipes. I adjusted myself to go first thing in the a.m., before my shower, and then I'd be set for the day. I probably should have done this 18 years ago - after the birth of my second child - since it was pregnancy which caused my hemorrhoids in the first place. Then again, I can't see how I could have afforded the recovery time then. At 46, I'm glad this surgery is BEHIND me. Hoping to feel more freedom and my big incentive: more sexy.
This means staying on the fiber regimen and never, ever having enough time in the bathroom to read or surf the net on my phone. I never want to go through this surgery again - well, put it this way. I didn't mind the surgery. It's the RECOVERY I don't want to deal with. With any luck, I won't have to have baby wipes stocked up anymore. I'd like to be a normal person who can get by on plain ol' toilet paper. Most of all, I hope my recovery doesn't take as long as some people's!
A Metamucil toast to all.
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Day 5: I'm unhappy. Apparently, the nurse who told me to run and get the instant action suppositories had a different opinion than my actual doctor, who gave different orders when I called yesterday: Miralax. This on top of Metamucil (a fairly regular part of my routine), prune juice, stool softeners and Milk of Magnesia. My discharge instructions say you can go back to normal activities after 24 hours. But I would not have been able to work today - having spent most of my time in the bathroom and in pain. I got behind on my ibuprofen at the wrong time, and went back to the oxycodone.
I have not been totally in control of my bowels since the surgery. Today was the toughest day because of the laxative overdose. I'm cutting back, staying away from the Miralax and tomorrow, I'm going to get up early, as if I'm going to work. If I can have a normal morning without pain and without leakage, then I will go in. But if I feel like I have today (I *think* I'm okay at this moment - hard to tell), I might have a short day or not go in at all. Friday is a week. Tomorrow might be too soon.
I shared a bed with my "special friend" the night of the surgery with no worries. NOW I'm worried I might leak badly in the middle of the night. Ready to cook up a big pot of white rice. I'm tired of pads and gauze and sitz baths. The hygiene issue was my biggest motivation for having this surgery in the first place. I am more a slave to my digestive system now than I have ever been. I'm not happy to have had this done - yet. Hopefully, that will change. Afraid to eat. Afraid that the various laxatives I'm taking one day won't do the job the next or will do it too well. I just wanna be a once-a-day kinda person, and go on with my day without fear blood and whatnot. Actually, there really isn't much blood, which is surprising. I just kinda feel like I'm potty training all over again!
Blah!
Anyone have problems like this after a suture/staple-free mixed hemorrhoidectomy? How long before you felt like you could run to the store without some awful incident? What foods did you find were best? I've been going for grain: toast, cereal, some "normal food," lots of fluids.
I have not been totally in control of my bowels since the surgery. Today was the toughest day because of the laxative overdose. I'm cutting back, staying away from the Miralax and tomorrow, I'm going to get up early, as if I'm going to work. If I can have a normal morning without pain and without leakage, then I will go in. But if I feel like I have today (I *think* I'm okay at this moment - hard to tell), I might have a short day or not go in at all. Friday is a week. Tomorrow might be too soon.
I shared a bed with my "special friend" the night of the surgery with no worries. NOW I'm worried I might leak badly in the middle of the night. Ready to cook up a big pot of white rice. I'm tired of pads and gauze and sitz baths. The hygiene issue was my biggest motivation for having this surgery in the first place. I am more a slave to my digestive system now than I have ever been. I'm not happy to have had this done - yet. Hopefully, that will change. Afraid to eat. Afraid that the various laxatives I'm taking one day won't do the job the next or will do it too well. I just wanna be a once-a-day kinda person, and go on with my day without fear blood and whatnot. Actually, there really isn't much blood, which is surprising. I just kinda feel like I'm potty training all over again!
Blah!
Anyone have problems like this after a suture/staple-free mixed hemorrhoidectomy? How long before you felt like you could run to the store without some awful incident? What foods did you find were best? I've been going for grain: toast, cereal, some "normal food," lots of fluids.
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Day 6: Still not happy. I don't know if this is specific to geographic location but my surgeon led me to believe this would be a short but very painful ordeal. Pain isn't really a problem, except when going to the bathroom. I didn't leak badly last night like I feared. It seems to be something that happens when I'm moving around. My intestines sound gurgly - even after a couple of BMs. I've been up for 8 hours, been diligent about my ibuprofen, no oxycodone today. I had some coffee - I thought that would help me get things done and out of the way - just like a normal day. I've done sitz baths and taken two showers. Was getting dressed for work and feeling like I might make it and then squirt. This is what happens. A small squirt of blood with a bit of fecal material. If my digestive system didn't feel so loose, I would just go to work and change my gauze frequently, as I am. But I'm afraid of a full-blown loss of control.
I read other people's stories and they get hospitalized. I had Grade 4 internal/external and the doc said he did a LOT of cutting. But home I went with discharge instructions saying normal activities after 24 hours. I am far from normal. I have two jobs I expected to be able to resume by today and Sunday (waiting tables) but I can't promise anybody anything. I know I'm headed for a sitz bath - probably productive - after which I'll feel dirty and hit the shower. I want to take the oxycodone just to get rid of the loosies!
Maybe this is just a matter of getting the right dietary balance. I went from constipated to diarrhea and neither is pleasant. They both hurt. It's just that the latter seems to take up way more time in a day. Maybe I'll eat a block of cheese.
Can anyone offer me hope that I'll be able to do at least my sit-down job any time soon? Sitting isn't a problem - and I do have my special ring cushion.
I read other people's stories and they get hospitalized. I had Grade 4 internal/external and the doc said he did a LOT of cutting. But home I went with discharge instructions saying normal activities after 24 hours. I am far from normal. I have two jobs I expected to be able to resume by today and Sunday (waiting tables) but I can't promise anybody anything. I know I'm headed for a sitz bath - probably productive - after which I'll feel dirty and hit the shower. I want to take the oxycodone just to get rid of the loosies!
Maybe this is just a matter of getting the right dietary balance. I went from constipated to diarrhea and neither is pleasant. They both hurt. It's just that the latter seems to take up way more time in a day. Maybe I'll eat a block of cheese.
Can anyone offer me hope that I'll be able to do at least my sit-down job any time soon? Sitting isn't a problem - and I do have my special ring cushion.
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Actually made it to work today - but only for a few hours because my morning routine took so long. It's not the going - it's all the equipment, the delicate clean-up - like it's a huge ordeal every time! Took a shower, got dressed and was only passing blood by that point and so happy. But since then, I've had some leakage AND had to go again when I got home (so I wouldn't have made it the whole day.) Hoping the laxative frenzy wears off. I'm going to limit myself to the Metamucil and one, not three, of the softener. And eat semi-carefully. I had cheesecake last night.
Pain is tolerable, as long as I keep a steady stream of ibuprofen in my system.
If I can just stop leaking, I'll be quite happy. But maybe that's unreasonable to expect when you're also bleeding?
Pain is tolerable, as long as I keep a steady stream of ibuprofen in my system.
If I can just stop leaking, I'll be quite happy. But maybe that's unreasonable to expect when you're also bleeding?
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Here I am again, talking to myself. Hopefully, something I say will help somebody.
Today is day 8. Again, I had mixed Grade 4 hemorrhoids and had them surgically removed - no staples, no sutures.
I've only been awake for a couple of hours today - slept in. I've been feeling way more positive than negative. Yesterday, after work, I was dismayed to find I'd been leaking again and needed another BM when I came home. I'm a busy person and once a day is all I've got time for - especially now when there's so much clean-up and complications like pain and leakage. I went out for several hours. I leaked nothing but blood the whole night and even OVERNIGHT. I think the leakage is directly linked to having to go or just having recently gone to the bathroom. Sometimes a little fecal material comes out with the blood, but this is way different than the leakage that has worried me. I am sure now that I will fully recover and be back to normal soon.
A week ago, I couldn't tell if I had an urge to go or not. That is no longer a problem. Today, the urge actually caused me some pain, despite having taken 600 mg ibuprofen. I had to wait until my special friend got out of the bathroom (that boy needs fiber!), so I had to hold back. That hurt. But it shows control and awareness of when I have to go and when I don't. I was scared that I'd lost that.
I was going to use the sitz bath to help things along, but decided to just go without it. I accomplished the majority of my mission the old-fashioned way! Then I used the sitz bath to soothe/clean and it stimulated a little more. Going was not nearly as painful as waiting to go. Somehow that feels like progress.
Yesterday, I limited myself to just the Metamucil - the bulk-forming fiber plus one stool softener gel cap. I feel that all the laxatives I took earlier in the week caused more harm than good. And as someone in the medical field, I learned a valuable lesson. Nurses can't just have a rushed phone conversation with you and know what's going on. Not enough questions answered. A lot of things dawned on me over the last few days and I should have trusted myself:
1. The initial constipation was not caused by the oxycodone, as I allowed the nurse to have me believe. I should know better. Having had previous painful conditions and surgeries, and having had to use opiate pain killers many times before, I know that they don't constipate me. Morphine does, but I was not given morphine this time. Those first few days of constipation probably had a lot to do with a shock to my system and fear of the pain. Know your own body. Trust experts, but also trust what you know about yourself and make them aware before they give you generic instructions.
2. Using laxatives to relieve constipation is okay but introduce one at a time! I was taking so many things AND drinking prune juice that I ended up with major diarrhea. That's not good. No wonder I spent two solid days running to the bathroom and shower and it's no wonder I leaked! Since I don't normally suffer from constipation, there was no reason to pile on so much. Plus, if your stool has no bulk to it, you might suffer from stenosis of the anal canal. Bulk fiber is, IMO, the #1 most important aspect of recovery. It should be part of any person's normal routine. It is not just for constipation and it doesn't make you run off to the bathroom every ten minutes.
3. A stool softener is also helpful during recovery, but try to avoid those which make you go often. Miralax, for example, softens stools, but also increases the frequency of BMs. Frequency does not jive with a normal busy day - especially at the workplace. If you WANT to go frequently for some reason, then go for it. But do expect leakage and don't necessarily expect less pain.
4. My diet went from one extreme to another. I ate lightly before the surgery and had stocked up on rice, applesauce, high fiber bread for toast and water. But then, after the surgery, my doctor told me I had no diet restrictions. I decided to take him at his word and literally ate whatever I wanted the first couple of days, so I did. Baaaaaaad. Then I went to my original bland diet. But since I still had all those laxatives in me, it wasn't really helpful. So now I eat what I want - kind of. I'm avoiding things that are difficult to digest, like red meat. I'll eat salad, but try to make sure I chew very thoroughly. I ate more cheesecake last night. :) Hey, that's soft! I'm avoiding anything spicy, which could burn on the way out and not drinking alcohol, even though there's a bottle of Van Gogh double espresso vodka waiting for me. Like aspirin products, alcohol is a blood thinner and, until the bleeding stops, no drinks for me. I am hyper aware that eating might stimulate the digestive system enough to cause a BM. Trying not to worry too much about that. However, the time between my last meals and next BM was somewhere around 12-17 hours, which a way more normal time frame for me. I had no discomfort/urges last night, during the night and even the first hour after I woke up. But as I sipped a little coffee and began to move around, my body's regular schedule kicked in. I feel confident that by this time next week, there will be no sitz baths or little plastic bidets. I will just go. Maybe even use toilet paper!
5. If you have to work before you're fully recovered, allow yourself plenty of time to get ready. Take ibuprofen before your feet even hit the floor so that by the time you have a BM, it will be in effect. You may have to go more than once - especially with laxatives in your system. Move around for a while doing housework, exercise or whatever and wait and see if your body signals for more. Eating and drinking also stimulate you. When you're quite sure you're done for the day - or at least the morning - go ahead and shower and get on with your life. Emptying out is one of the best ways to avoid/decrease leakage. (I sure hope I don't have to get up at 5 Thursday to be at work by 8, but whatever will be will be.) Again - use the sitz bath if you're not sure if your bowels are done moving.
6. Exercise your muscles! Kegels! With my special friend around, we're not really do anything for me at the moment. It's all about him. I'm still not feeling clean and sexy enough to completely disrobe, so I take care of myself. Orgasms are great muscular exercise. I totally want my body remembering how everything's supposed to work before I go back to unrestricted sex. I don't even want to be bleeding by the time this happens. (We don't ever have to deal with blood, since I went through menopause early - plus, this blood is not coming from the nicest place.) But, I want to keep all those pelvic muscles in shape, so hey, have a little fun, relieve a little stress, and keep those muscles toned. Try not to stress out about the damper on your sex life - if a sex life is important to you. I was really concerned before I had electrosurgery a couple of months ago to prevent cervical cancer. I was out of commission for a couple of weeks. But we managed to have some great play - it was actually very satisfying - so this isn't going to get in our way either. And it hasn't. ;)
Since I started writing this long post, I had to stop once and pee and a little more BM came out (with my help - not involuntarily.) This tells me that my body's signals are still a little off, probably because I'm still raw and swollen, so I have to allow this time for my body to figure things out every day. I'll be happy when it all comes out at once, like normal, and I won't have to feel anything or think about it again until the next day.
I think today or tomorrow I am going to wean myself off the gauze tucking I've been tucking. I'm (understandably) afraid of having fecal leakage causing vaginal or urinary infections. I'm also tired of wearing skirts, so I think I'm going to get myself a bunch of soft, discreet panty liners and be prepared to change them 20 times a day if necessary. Having something pressed up against your anus all the time is a lot like having the urge for a BM. I want to go gauze free! We'll see how I do after my shower. I'd love to wear a pair of shorts!
Today is day 8. Again, I had mixed Grade 4 hemorrhoids and had them surgically removed - no staples, no sutures.
I've only been awake for a couple of hours today - slept in. I've been feeling way more positive than negative. Yesterday, after work, I was dismayed to find I'd been leaking again and needed another BM when I came home. I'm a busy person and once a day is all I've got time for - especially now when there's so much clean-up and complications like pain and leakage. I went out for several hours. I leaked nothing but blood the whole night and even OVERNIGHT. I think the leakage is directly linked to having to go or just having recently gone to the bathroom. Sometimes a little fecal material comes out with the blood, but this is way different than the leakage that has worried me. I am sure now that I will fully recover and be back to normal soon.
A week ago, I couldn't tell if I had an urge to go or not. That is no longer a problem. Today, the urge actually caused me some pain, despite having taken 600 mg ibuprofen. I had to wait until my special friend got out of the bathroom (that boy needs fiber!), so I had to hold back. That hurt. But it shows control and awareness of when I have to go and when I don't. I was scared that I'd lost that.
I was going to use the sitz bath to help things along, but decided to just go without it. I accomplished the majority of my mission the old-fashioned way! Then I used the sitz bath to soothe/clean and it stimulated a little more. Going was not nearly as painful as waiting to go. Somehow that feels like progress.
Yesterday, I limited myself to just the Metamucil - the bulk-forming fiber plus one stool softener gel cap. I feel that all the laxatives I took earlier in the week caused more harm than good. And as someone in the medical field, I learned a valuable lesson. Nurses can't just have a rushed phone conversation with you and know what's going on. Not enough questions answered. A lot of things dawned on me over the last few days and I should have trusted myself:
1. The initial constipation was not caused by the oxycodone, as I allowed the nurse to have me believe. I should know better. Having had previous painful conditions and surgeries, and having had to use opiate pain killers many times before, I know that they don't constipate me. Morphine does, but I was not given morphine this time. Those first few days of constipation probably had a lot to do with a shock to my system and fear of the pain. Know your own body. Trust experts, but also trust what you know about yourself and make them aware before they give you generic instructions.
2. Using laxatives to relieve constipation is okay but introduce one at a time! I was taking so many things AND drinking prune juice that I ended up with major diarrhea. That's not good. No wonder I spent two solid days running to the bathroom and shower and it's no wonder I leaked! Since I don't normally suffer from constipation, there was no reason to pile on so much. Plus, if your stool has no bulk to it, you might suffer from stenosis of the anal canal. Bulk fiber is, IMO, the #1 most important aspect of recovery. It should be part of any person's normal routine. It is not just for constipation and it doesn't make you run off to the bathroom every ten minutes.
3. A stool softener is also helpful during recovery, but try to avoid those which make you go often. Miralax, for example, softens stools, but also increases the frequency of BMs. Frequency does not jive with a normal busy day - especially at the workplace. If you WANT to go frequently for some reason, then go for it. But do expect leakage and don't necessarily expect less pain.
4. My diet went from one extreme to another. I ate lightly before the surgery and had stocked up on rice, applesauce, high fiber bread for toast and water. But then, after the surgery, my doctor told me I had no diet restrictions. I decided to take him at his word and literally ate whatever I wanted the first couple of days, so I did. Baaaaaaad. Then I went to my original bland diet. But since I still had all those laxatives in me, it wasn't really helpful. So now I eat what I want - kind of. I'm avoiding things that are difficult to digest, like red meat. I'll eat salad, but try to make sure I chew very thoroughly. I ate more cheesecake last night. :) Hey, that's soft! I'm avoiding anything spicy, which could burn on the way out and not drinking alcohol, even though there's a bottle of Van Gogh double espresso vodka waiting for me. Like aspirin products, alcohol is a blood thinner and, until the bleeding stops, no drinks for me. I am hyper aware that eating might stimulate the digestive system enough to cause a BM. Trying not to worry too much about that. However, the time between my last meals and next BM was somewhere around 12-17 hours, which a way more normal time frame for me. I had no discomfort/urges last night, during the night and even the first hour after I woke up. But as I sipped a little coffee and began to move around, my body's regular schedule kicked in. I feel confident that by this time next week, there will be no sitz baths or little plastic bidets. I will just go. Maybe even use toilet paper!
5. If you have to work before you're fully recovered, allow yourself plenty of time to get ready. Take ibuprofen before your feet even hit the floor so that by the time you have a BM, it will be in effect. You may have to go more than once - especially with laxatives in your system. Move around for a while doing housework, exercise or whatever and wait and see if your body signals for more. Eating and drinking also stimulate you. When you're quite sure you're done for the day - or at least the morning - go ahead and shower and get on with your life. Emptying out is one of the best ways to avoid/decrease leakage. (I sure hope I don't have to get up at 5 Thursday to be at work by 8, but whatever will be will be.) Again - use the sitz bath if you're not sure if your bowels are done moving.
6. Exercise your muscles! Kegels! With my special friend around, we're not really do anything for me at the moment. It's all about him. I'm still not feeling clean and sexy enough to completely disrobe, so I take care of myself. Orgasms are great muscular exercise. I totally want my body remembering how everything's supposed to work before I go back to unrestricted sex. I don't even want to be bleeding by the time this happens. (We don't ever have to deal with blood, since I went through menopause early - plus, this blood is not coming from the nicest place.) But, I want to keep all those pelvic muscles in shape, so hey, have a little fun, relieve a little stress, and keep those muscles toned. Try not to stress out about the damper on your sex life - if a sex life is important to you. I was really concerned before I had electrosurgery a couple of months ago to prevent cervical cancer. I was out of commission for a couple of weeks. But we managed to have some great play - it was actually very satisfying - so this isn't going to get in our way either. And it hasn't. ;)
Since I started writing this long post, I had to stop once and pee and a little more BM came out (with my help - not involuntarily.) This tells me that my body's signals are still a little off, probably because I'm still raw and swollen, so I have to allow this time for my body to figure things out every day. I'll be happy when it all comes out at once, like normal, and I won't have to feel anything or think about it again until the next day.
I think today or tomorrow I am going to wean myself off the gauze tucking I've been tucking. I'm (understandably) afraid of having fecal leakage causing vaginal or urinary infections. I'm also tired of wearing skirts, so I think I'm going to get myself a bunch of soft, discreet panty liners and be prepared to change them 20 times a day if necessary. Having something pressed up against your anus all the time is a lot like having the urge for a BM. I want to go gauze free! We'll see how I do after my shower. I'd love to wear a pair of shorts!
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Day 9. *sigh* Worst leakage since earlier in the week. Hope I didn't ruin my favorite shorts. This doesn't happen to me while I'm sleeping. I guess being up and moving has something to do with it. I was slightly bound up. Took 3 tries over several hours to feel like I'd evacuated my bowels enough - seems to be a regular issue. Leakage subsided soon after. That has been the pattern - my best hours leakage-wise are evenings and overnight. I need a different schedule. I need to leak at home and not leak during working hours!
I ate a little too much of what I wanted instead of what I should have had, yesterday. I also backed off on laxatives almost completely, except for the Metamucil. That stays. I took a stool softener today, hoping it would help me with later or tomorrow. Finally I drank a few ounces of prune juice and was soon emptying out better, dealt with the residual leakage, then remained relatively clean. I am staying away from the MoM and Miralax.
Today I ate more carefully and decided to try using the Metamucil, stool softener and prune juice at bedtime (now.) I'm hoping that does the trick as far as getting business done in a reasonable time and that it will reduce (dare I hope ELIMINATE?) all day leakage.
One of my first attempts came out like a pencil. I get worried about stenosis, but since this didn't happen the next time, I think it was something to do with internal swelling. This is why I'm married to my ibuprofen.
I am going to spend the next few days practicing. I don't have to work tomorrow, but I'm going to get up and act as if I do. I want to see if I can empty out completely and overcome the leakage in a reasonable amount of time - 90 min? At that point, I can get out of the house. This will involve moving around instead of sitting around waiting (or posting on the Internet.) Moving around is crucial. If I can manage this, then I can get to work without being full of it by 8 a.m. I canNOT need to use the bathroom at work. The patients need it!
Still bleeding, but that doesn't bother me too much.
Plan on sticking to a diet of whole grains, vegetables, fish or chicken - all well-chewed. I allow myself a cup of coffee in the morning. It does get things moving.
I have a follow-up on Tuesday. I have a LOT to talk to him about. Gonna write it all down - make sure communication is effective and clear. No more suppository childbirth simulation or Miralax bathroom marathons!
Going to bed, hoping not to leak. Night.
I ate a little too much of what I wanted instead of what I should have had, yesterday. I also backed off on laxatives almost completely, except for the Metamucil. That stays. I took a stool softener today, hoping it would help me with later or tomorrow. Finally I drank a few ounces of prune juice and was soon emptying out better, dealt with the residual leakage, then remained relatively clean. I am staying away from the MoM and Miralax.
Today I ate more carefully and decided to try using the Metamucil, stool softener and prune juice at bedtime (now.) I'm hoping that does the trick as far as getting business done in a reasonable time and that it will reduce (dare I hope ELIMINATE?) all day leakage.
One of my first attempts came out like a pencil. I get worried about stenosis, but since this didn't happen the next time, I think it was something to do with internal swelling. This is why I'm married to my ibuprofen.
I am going to spend the next few days practicing. I don't have to work tomorrow, but I'm going to get up and act as if I do. I want to see if I can empty out completely and overcome the leakage in a reasonable amount of time - 90 min? At that point, I can get out of the house. This will involve moving around instead of sitting around waiting (or posting on the Internet.) Moving around is crucial. If I can manage this, then I can get to work without being full of it by 8 a.m. I canNOT need to use the bathroom at work. The patients need it!
Still bleeding, but that doesn't bother me too much.
Plan on sticking to a diet of whole grains, vegetables, fish or chicken - all well-chewed. I allow myself a cup of coffee in the morning. It does get things moving.
I have a follow-up on Tuesday. I have a LOT to talk to him about. Gonna write it all down - make sure communication is effective and clear. No more suppository childbirth simulation or Miralax bathroom marathons!
Going to bed, hoping not to leak. Night.
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Day 10: the best day so far. Still not great - but am cautiously optimistic.
Yesterday, I saved all "supplements" for bedtime. One tsp Metamucil. One 100mg docusate sodium gelcap (stool softener.) A few ounces of prune juice. As usual, maintained a careful diet (don't wanna be too bound or too loose), but I did over do the cheesecake reward a bit under the circumstances.
No leaking overnight. I didn't even bleed. I don't have leakage problems overnight - so I take that as a good sign. I can probably rest assured my sphincter is working just fine.
As is customary for me, the urge waits for me to wake up. I actually woke up an hour before I GOT up, took 600 mg ibuprofen and slept for another hour. When I got up, the urge was waiting. I could already feel that this might be an uncomfortable one. I needed the Sitz bath to get it moving. And then, as is my problem, the urge stopped. It likes to go in "installments." I don't have time for this. I decided to sit there in that water until I was completely done (I change the water very frequently, so at least I get up 7 or 8 times.) After an hour, I was tired of the bathroom. Went on with my day (which I spent at home, timing it all as if it were a work day.) 2.5 hours after I'd left the bathroom, I was back there again to finish what I'd started. Grrrrrr. Leaking 'til that second round, which was VERY short. I was in the bathroom for 2 minutes tops. Took a shower a few hours after that and if I'm not mistaken, no fecal leakage since! That was many many hours ago. Still some blood and mucous. I can handle that because I know it's temporary. It's the leakage which is interfering with my life - and that sense that I have to go when I don't. I feel like being able to discern one sensation from another definitely takes a while, or becomes more normal? Between swelling and gauze, there always seems to be pressure. Makes me feel like I could leak at any time, but so far, so good.
Ironically, I spent quite some time writing down all my concerns for my follow-up tomorrow. By the time I got done writing my complaints/problems, they had stopped for an indefinite period of time which is still going! Murphy's Law: sometimes, it's a good thing!
Over the next two days, I am going to stick to what I started last night, given today's results, which were not bad. Realistically, I COULD have slipped into the bathroom at work for that second short round without causing any problems. I just need to get this all out BEFORE my shower and BEFORE I leave the house, as I've always done, even if I have to devote 90 minutes to the cause every morning for a little while. I'll get up early because after this, I'll be getting up later! Decreasing my bathroom time every morning - without the need for repeats - will be a wonderful gift, if I can just get through this recovery.
The other worry is this weekend. It will be day 15 when I go back to waiting on tables. Two concerns: leakage and pain. This is stand up, run around, crouch down, reach up, reach across, lift and carry job. I'm afraid I'll be in severe pain by the end of the night and then have to do it again the next night.
I can't wait to be back to normal. Mostly, I truly hope I WILL get back to normal. Sometimes I worry that this surgery may have caused more problems than I had before. In either case, I'd recommend at least a 2-week recovery before joining the busy world again. And then even after that, there may still be small issues that get in the way of things like oh, your SEX life? *sigh*
Yesterday, I saved all "supplements" for bedtime. One tsp Metamucil. One 100mg docusate sodium gelcap (stool softener.) A few ounces of prune juice. As usual, maintained a careful diet (don't wanna be too bound or too loose), but I did over do the cheesecake reward a bit under the circumstances.
No leaking overnight. I didn't even bleed. I don't have leakage problems overnight - so I take that as a good sign. I can probably rest assured my sphincter is working just fine.
As is customary for me, the urge waits for me to wake up. I actually woke up an hour before I GOT up, took 600 mg ibuprofen and slept for another hour. When I got up, the urge was waiting. I could already feel that this might be an uncomfortable one. I needed the Sitz bath to get it moving. And then, as is my problem, the urge stopped. It likes to go in "installments." I don't have time for this. I decided to sit there in that water until I was completely done (I change the water very frequently, so at least I get up 7 or 8 times.) After an hour, I was tired of the bathroom. Went on with my day (which I spent at home, timing it all as if it were a work day.) 2.5 hours after I'd left the bathroom, I was back there again to finish what I'd started. Grrrrrr. Leaking 'til that second round, which was VERY short. I was in the bathroom for 2 minutes tops. Took a shower a few hours after that and if I'm not mistaken, no fecal leakage since! That was many many hours ago. Still some blood and mucous. I can handle that because I know it's temporary. It's the leakage which is interfering with my life - and that sense that I have to go when I don't. I feel like being able to discern one sensation from another definitely takes a while, or becomes more normal? Between swelling and gauze, there always seems to be pressure. Makes me feel like I could leak at any time, but so far, so good.
Ironically, I spent quite some time writing down all my concerns for my follow-up tomorrow. By the time I got done writing my complaints/problems, they had stopped for an indefinite period of time which is still going! Murphy's Law: sometimes, it's a good thing!
Over the next two days, I am going to stick to what I started last night, given today's results, which were not bad. Realistically, I COULD have slipped into the bathroom at work for that second short round without causing any problems. I just need to get this all out BEFORE my shower and BEFORE I leave the house, as I've always done, even if I have to devote 90 minutes to the cause every morning for a little while. I'll get up early because after this, I'll be getting up later! Decreasing my bathroom time every morning - without the need for repeats - will be a wonderful gift, if I can just get through this recovery.
The other worry is this weekend. It will be day 15 when I go back to waiting on tables. Two concerns: leakage and pain. This is stand up, run around, crouch down, reach up, reach across, lift and carry job. I'm afraid I'll be in severe pain by the end of the night and then have to do it again the next night.
I can't wait to be back to normal. Mostly, I truly hope I WILL get back to normal. Sometimes I worry that this surgery may have caused more problems than I had before. In either case, I'd recommend at least a 2-week recovery before joining the busy world again. And then even after that, there may still be small issues that get in the way of things like oh, your SEX life? *sigh*
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Well, what a difference a day makes! Not just in healing, but perspective. I went for my post-op today. The surgeon looked down at this stack of papers and said something like, "Holy cow." Apparently, it's standard procedure to send the excised tissue to pathology and lo and behold - I had moderate to severe dysplasia, caused by HPV. Basically, that's pre-pre-cancerous cells. HPV is common, is sexually transmitted (even with condoms) and has many types in two major categories: high and low-risk. Low-risk causes things like genital warts. High-risk is associated with many types of cancers.
This was not completely unfamiliar to me. In April, I had a LEEP - a procedure to remove abnormal pre-pre-cancerous cells from my cervix - also due to the HPV. My first utterance was, "But I don't have anal sex!" Doesn't matter, apparently. I nervously asked what happens next and his answer was that they already cut off the abnormal tissue, so that part of the battle is over. Just like with my LEEP, it's just a matter of frequent check-ups. Next up is finding out what other types of abnormal cells could be lurking around my body and where - and to get that all checked out.
I was really floored. Suddenly, all the inconveniences of pain, digestive/BM issues, leakage, etc. seemed so insignificant. It was also easier to brush off today because I haven't leaked anything but blood for about 27 hours now - and I've had quite an active day. I feel much better about going on with my life now and think work will go just fine. I still have tomorrow to recover and then it's go time!
He said to lay off the laxatives to reduce the chances of leakage and that I could leak for a month. :/ But I'm almost two weeks in and things seem to get better gradually. I woke up late for the app't - or, put it this way: I woke up too late to go through my morning routine. No bathroom time; no shower. But I didn't have the urge (I tried) and I had a late shower yesterday and am keeping myself clean so, wow, absolutely no problem.
I'm starting to crave foods I've been avoiding, but I've decided to be careful during the work days. Changing pads at a busy restaurant isn't going to be easy, but it sounds a lot easier than cancer! Still allowing myself a little coffee in the morning, then just water for the rest of the day. Whole grains, veggies, rice, cereal - and some small portion of something randomly yummy. Then Metamucil, stool softener and prune juice before bed. I didn't eat much yesterday, so maybe that's why I'm still not feeling any urge to go. I just hope tomorrow won't be a pay the piper day.
So hello, day 11. You're looking brighter than the days before you! And wow - I had this surgery mainly for reasons of vanity and it turned out to be more necessary than I'd ever imagined!
This was not completely unfamiliar to me. In April, I had a LEEP - a procedure to remove abnormal pre-pre-cancerous cells from my cervix - also due to the HPV. My first utterance was, "But I don't have anal sex!" Doesn't matter, apparently. I nervously asked what happens next and his answer was that they already cut off the abnormal tissue, so that part of the battle is over. Just like with my LEEP, it's just a matter of frequent check-ups. Next up is finding out what other types of abnormal cells could be lurking around my body and where - and to get that all checked out.
I was really floored. Suddenly, all the inconveniences of pain, digestive/BM issues, leakage, etc. seemed so insignificant. It was also easier to brush off today because I haven't leaked anything but blood for about 27 hours now - and I've had quite an active day. I feel much better about going on with my life now and think work will go just fine. I still have tomorrow to recover and then it's go time!
He said to lay off the laxatives to reduce the chances of leakage and that I could leak for a month. :/ But I'm almost two weeks in and things seem to get better gradually. I woke up late for the app't - or, put it this way: I woke up too late to go through my morning routine. No bathroom time; no shower. But I didn't have the urge (I tried) and I had a late shower yesterday and am keeping myself clean so, wow, absolutely no problem.
I'm starting to crave foods I've been avoiding, but I've decided to be careful during the work days. Changing pads at a busy restaurant isn't going to be easy, but it sounds a lot easier than cancer! Still allowing myself a little coffee in the morning, then just water for the rest of the day. Whole grains, veggies, rice, cereal - and some small portion of something randomly yummy. Then Metamucil, stool softener and prune juice before bed. I didn't eat much yesterday, so maybe that's why I'm still not feeling any urge to go. I just hope tomorrow won't be a pay the piper day.
So hello, day 11. You're looking brighter than the days before you! And wow - I had this surgery mainly for reasons of vanity and it turned out to be more necessary than I'd ever imagined!
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Hate to give up what I started and do hope something I say will help. This one should be short.
Day 12: still no fecal leakage!! That makes well over 48 hours now. It's just blood - mixed with mucus? Very light, but steady throughout the day and heavier at night (after a lot of activity.)
BM still wants to come in installments. It took 3-4 trips to feel emptied out today over the course of 3-4 hours. Some trips were quite short, though, which is a plus. I have to work at 8 in the morning. I can't devote 4 hours because my body feels like pausing all morning. By the time I'm done with all of this, I feel great. Doc said to avoid stool softeners/laxatives to avoid loose stools. Fiber (psyllium) and a lot of water. Still careful with diet. Will eat chicken/fish, whole grains, rice, salads, veggies - keeping "treats" to a minimum.
In the morning, I'm just going to sit there and try to relax. Maybe smoke a clove cigarette. For some reason, they are stimulative with me. I want to be emptied out before I go to work, but if I can't, then I'm just going to have to deal with the "installments" at work. This won't be fun.
Luckily, this is all over with early enough in the day so that it won't affect my other job (nights as a waitress.) All I will do is bleed. And feel sore.
Pain comes and goes. First installment hurt a lot today - burned. Had me running for the Sitz bath. I can't do that out of the house.
Nervous AND optimistic about the next four days of work....
Day 12: still no fecal leakage!! That makes well over 48 hours now. It's just blood - mixed with mucus? Very light, but steady throughout the day and heavier at night (after a lot of activity.)
BM still wants to come in installments. It took 3-4 trips to feel emptied out today over the course of 3-4 hours. Some trips were quite short, though, which is a plus. I have to work at 8 in the morning. I can't devote 4 hours because my body feels like pausing all morning. By the time I'm done with all of this, I feel great. Doc said to avoid stool softeners/laxatives to avoid loose stools. Fiber (psyllium) and a lot of water. Still careful with diet. Will eat chicken/fish, whole grains, rice, salads, veggies - keeping "treats" to a minimum.
In the morning, I'm just going to sit there and try to relax. Maybe smoke a clove cigarette. For some reason, they are stimulative with me. I want to be emptied out before I go to work, but if I can't, then I'm just going to have to deal with the "installments" at work. This won't be fun.
Luckily, this is all over with early enough in the day so that it won't affect my other job (nights as a waitress.) All I will do is bleed. And feel sore.
Pain comes and goes. First installment hurt a lot today - burned. Had me running for the Sitz bath. I can't do that out of the house.
Nervous AND optimistic about the next four days of work....
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Day 13: I made it through an entire 8.5 hour day of work without having to deal with my bowels. And I was even on time! Being on time has always been a problem for me. I'm a night owl - not a morning person. My plan was to get up at 5 to give my body plenty of time to empty out, but I didn't get up 'til closer to 6 (though I did take my ibuprofen about 45 minutes before I got up.) Bathroom time wasn't all that productive. I'm still going in "installments." I tried a warm water enema, which only helped very very little. I decided I wasn't going to wait around for my bowels to move - so I did instead. Showered, dressed, etc. - 20-25 minute drive and tada! On time! I'm not sure if the sheer amount of work at the doctor's office kept my mind off, but I didn't have any discomfort, urge to go to the bathroom or pain. I did have some yellowish discharge. I thought maybe it was a return of the fecal leakage mixed with blood, but it doesn't really have any odor to speak of. It may just be mucus, dead tissue, etc. - the gross stuff of healing.
I did go as soon as I got home and am still not sure if I'm empty for the day but I don't care. I'm fast, thanks to taking the Metamucil every day instead of my former every once in a while and I keep plenty of clean bottom supplies - two kinds of wipes, gauze and pads.
As if a full day of work and not worrying so much about my bowels were not enough of a treat, I was able to have sex last night! My bottom's gotta be on the bottom right now (with a towel to catch any post-op bleeding) and it's gotta be gentle but wow - no pain! I'm starting to feel more like myself again.
I don't expect to be fully recovered for another couple of weeks (which will be a month), but every day IS getting better.
The last BM did hurt - so I'm relaxing on the couch, watching a House repeat and waiting for the ibuprofen/oxycodone to kick in.
Still eating very carefully. Until I'm happy with the way things come out, I'm gonna think twice about what I put in my mouth!
This weekend will be very busy at my other job. I will be a very busy, hot and achy waitron, but I know I'll get through it now. A few days ago, I wasn't so sure.
I did go as soon as I got home and am still not sure if I'm empty for the day but I don't care. I'm fast, thanks to taking the Metamucil every day instead of my former every once in a while and I keep plenty of clean bottom supplies - two kinds of wipes, gauze and pads.
As if a full day of work and not worrying so much about my bowels were not enough of a treat, I was able to have sex last night! My bottom's gotta be on the bottom right now (with a towel to catch any post-op bleeding) and it's gotta be gentle but wow - no pain! I'm starting to feel more like myself again.
I don't expect to be fully recovered for another couple of weeks (which will be a month), but every day IS getting better.
The last BM did hurt - so I'm relaxing on the couch, watching a House repeat and waiting for the ibuprofen/oxycodone to kick in.
Still eating very carefully. Until I'm happy with the way things come out, I'm gonna think twice about what I put in my mouth!
This weekend will be very busy at my other job. I will be a very busy, hot and achy waitron, but I know I'll get through it now. A few days ago, I wasn't so sure.
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Day 14. Finally, it feels like time is flying. A week ago, I felt I would never reach the long-awaited two week mark. Well, I'm here. But I'm still not done recovering from this.
Bleeding much less, but was leaking more dead tissue, etc. I always worry about what I'm leaking. But the worst leakage, I can say now, is quite far behind me. Four full days of poop staying where it belongs until I decide otherwise. Whew. That really was, to me, the most difficult for me to handle.
I worked today (was late mostly because of a closed road, partly because I procrastinated stuff a bit.) Didn't sleep enough for the second night in a row, but had plenty of energy at work. Did my business rather fast this morning. I don't even remember if I used the sitz bath or not - I'm pretty sure I did. It was a productive installment, but I knew I wasn't done for the day. It didn't nag me all that badly - and I didn't worry about it. And just like yesterday, as soon as I got out of work, it was time for installment #2. I forgot to take ibuprofen during the busy day, so it still hurts. I'm still not entirely sure I'm done. I'm not liking this. Right now, I feel like there's a small rock stuck inside of me. :/
The next two nights, I don't have to be at work until 4 p.m. so I will see what, if anything, I can do to get everything done in the morning without using laxatives or stool softeners (apparently, being on them too long can cause a dependency.) Prunes or prune juice maybe. I dunno. I'm just hoping this "installment" thing is just because I'm healing. Maybe the body is trying to protect itself from pain.
Kinda gassy - especially between "installments," but not overwhelmingly so. I do have embarrassing moments (I really can't have this happen while waiting on tables tomorrow!)
Still particular about what I eat. I'm scared to eat the wrong thing. And I LOVE food. I have a great metabolism, and I can and do usually eat whatever I want whenever I want and still I'm only about 115 lbs. But I see pizza, cheese, chocolate, white bread, meats and think...no.way. It's extremely tempting, but I'm just that scared about how what I eat will affect the following day.
I can't wait to go without Sitz baths and wipes and pads and gauze. The Metamucil? I'm keeping that.
Bleeding much less, but was leaking more dead tissue, etc. I always worry about what I'm leaking. But the worst leakage, I can say now, is quite far behind me. Four full days of poop staying where it belongs until I decide otherwise. Whew. That really was, to me, the most difficult for me to handle.
I worked today (was late mostly because of a closed road, partly because I procrastinated stuff a bit.) Didn't sleep enough for the second night in a row, but had plenty of energy at work. Did my business rather fast this morning. I don't even remember if I used the sitz bath or not - I'm pretty sure I did. It was a productive installment, but I knew I wasn't done for the day. It didn't nag me all that badly - and I didn't worry about it. And just like yesterday, as soon as I got out of work, it was time for installment #2. I forgot to take ibuprofen during the busy day, so it still hurts. I'm still not entirely sure I'm done. I'm not liking this. Right now, I feel like there's a small rock stuck inside of me. :/
The next two nights, I don't have to be at work until 4 p.m. so I will see what, if anything, I can do to get everything done in the morning without using laxatives or stool softeners (apparently, being on them too long can cause a dependency.) Prunes or prune juice maybe. I dunno. I'm just hoping this "installment" thing is just because I'm healing. Maybe the body is trying to protect itself from pain.
Kinda gassy - especially between "installments," but not overwhelmingly so. I do have embarrassing moments (I really can't have this happen while waiting on tables tomorrow!)
Still particular about what I eat. I'm scared to eat the wrong thing. And I LOVE food. I have a great metabolism, and I can and do usually eat whatever I want whenever I want and still I'm only about 115 lbs. But I see pizza, cheese, chocolate, white bread, meats and think...no.way. It's extremely tempting, but I'm just that scared about how what I eat will affect the following day.
I can't wait to go without Sitz baths and wipes and pads and gauze. The Metamucil? I'm keeping that.
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Day 15. *sigh*
In some ways I'm doing so well. In other ways, not so much. Overall, I'm way better than the days when I couldn't leave the house for fear of soiling myself in public.
I did my waitron job tonight. I didn't exactly work hard, but it's a big place and there's a lot of walking. I ache.
Last night, I was getting ready to go out for a little while when I got hit by a pain in the rear that was excruciating. It radiated throughout my pelvis, and I really thought I was headed for the ER. I didn't know where it came from and I didn't expect it to just go away by itself but it did. In minutes. I have no idea what that was. Never happened before and hasn't happened since.
I allowed myself a couple of bites of a freshly grilled cheeseburger. Also let myself have a drink - flavored vodka poured in my water. After that it was light fare, veggies, fiber, blah blah blah. I was really tired and fell asleep before I got a chance to take my Metamucil. I remembered when I woke up and felt like I had done something horribly wrong. I took it this morning. I'll drink another glass tonight.
The feeling of having a rock stuck in me has subsided. I think. Too much goes on down there in the healing process and it's disconcerting not knowing what's going on. I didn't feel like I leaked too much at work. I did have to go run and check at one point, but it was just pink mucous. I'm getting a lot of that. I switched from a pad to a liner because the pad, no matter how thin, just feels clumpy and uncomfortable and I'm afraid it's visible (even though it's not.) I leaked over the liner a bit - not much.
I guess my big issues right now are the discharge, the raw, aching feeling and most of all, the irregular bowels. Mine continue to be on an "installment" plan. Everything still comes out fast, which is nice, but I'd still like to get it down to one session a day. I had time today to sleep in and give it a try. After Sitzing for too long without a decent enough yield (and the feeling that it was just the first installment AGAIN), I resorted to a suppository. It didn't produce much more, so I figured I was NOW done for the day and went about my business. Shower. Some fun with special friend (it's so nice to be able to sleep naked without too much worry!) and then about an hour or so later - another installment! I almost feel like I need to go now, but it may just be the pain sending false signals.
I really, really, really need to get down to once a day and I'm starting to worry that this is a permanent thing for me. The surgeon has no explanation for this. He says there's never a steady stream - that the waste collects, signals the body that it wants to move, and you go and you're empty until the next time. But that first morning session doesn't empty me. I can feel it. And I haven't the foggiest idea what to do about changing that. I don't want my body to need laxatives/stool softeners. I hope that's not what's happening now. I think tomorrow night, after work, I'll try prune juice before bed. If that works out badly, I'll try it Monday morning. After that, I'm sorta out of ideas. :/
In some ways I'm doing so well. In other ways, not so much. Overall, I'm way better than the days when I couldn't leave the house for fear of soiling myself in public.
I did my waitron job tonight. I didn't exactly work hard, but it's a big place and there's a lot of walking. I ache.
Last night, I was getting ready to go out for a little while when I got hit by a pain in the rear that was excruciating. It radiated throughout my pelvis, and I really thought I was headed for the ER. I didn't know where it came from and I didn't expect it to just go away by itself but it did. In minutes. I have no idea what that was. Never happened before and hasn't happened since.
I allowed myself a couple of bites of a freshly grilled cheeseburger. Also let myself have a drink - flavored vodka poured in my water. After that it was light fare, veggies, fiber, blah blah blah. I was really tired and fell asleep before I got a chance to take my Metamucil. I remembered when I woke up and felt like I had done something horribly wrong. I took it this morning. I'll drink another glass tonight.
The feeling of having a rock stuck in me has subsided. I think. Too much goes on down there in the healing process and it's disconcerting not knowing what's going on. I didn't feel like I leaked too much at work. I did have to go run and check at one point, but it was just pink mucous. I'm getting a lot of that. I switched from a pad to a liner because the pad, no matter how thin, just feels clumpy and uncomfortable and I'm afraid it's visible (even though it's not.) I leaked over the liner a bit - not much.
I guess my big issues right now are the discharge, the raw, aching feeling and most of all, the irregular bowels. Mine continue to be on an "installment" plan. Everything still comes out fast, which is nice, but I'd still like to get it down to one session a day. I had time today to sleep in and give it a try. After Sitzing for too long without a decent enough yield (and the feeling that it was just the first installment AGAIN), I resorted to a suppository. It didn't produce much more, so I figured I was NOW done for the day and went about my business. Shower. Some fun with special friend (it's so nice to be able to sleep naked without too much worry!) and then about an hour or so later - another installment! I almost feel like I need to go now, but it may just be the pain sending false signals.
I really, really, really need to get down to once a day and I'm starting to worry that this is a permanent thing for me. The surgeon has no explanation for this. He says there's never a steady stream - that the waste collects, signals the body that it wants to move, and you go and you're empty until the next time. But that first morning session doesn't empty me. I can feel it. And I haven't the foggiest idea what to do about changing that. I don't want my body to need laxatives/stool softeners. I hope that's not what's happening now. I think tomorrow night, after work, I'll try prune juice before bed. If that works out badly, I'll try it Monday morning. After that, I'm sorta out of ideas. :/
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Day 16: I've been awake for six hours and am waiting for my third and, hopefully, last installment. I am sore and have a feeling like I have to go, but nothing's ready to move. Fiber, water, fiber, water - staying away from bad food. When will I get normal????
I really hate to take a shower before I'm done for the day, especially when I use the Sitz. Something about sitting in contaminated water...ugh. I strip down completely naked when I use it so I don't wet my clothes. I have to wipe up the toilet, the floor and the sink after dealing with all of this and then Lysol everything down.
In a little over an hour, I have to be getting ready for work. I can't work with this feeling and I can't use a Sitz in a restaurant.
I'm afraid to use laxatives or stool softeners, as I mentioned before. I don't see anything, aside from Metamucil, that doesn't cause dependence. Maybe Miralax, but that stuff is intended to make you go often. :/
I've been pretty active today - cleaning after my 18 and 20 year-old PITAs. It was the pregnancies that caused this and now they're all grown up and can't clean after themselves. On top of that, back talk. I'm annoyed, can't relax - couldn't even eat my two freakin' whole grain waffles. My 20 year-old annoyed me so much, I just threw them away.
When it's time to go to the bathroom, I bring in everything. Lately my phone, water, my purse (so nothing gets stolen.) I felt a strong urge, started to bring everything in, but all it was was flatulence. And that feeling there's a rock in me. I never got my prune juice last night or prunes. Maybe I'll try applesauce before bed. I need this to be over. At the very least, I would like to know that this isn't going to be a permanent problem - these incomplete bowel movements. I have to much too do to worry about poop all day every day!
I really hate to take a shower before I'm done for the day, especially when I use the Sitz. Something about sitting in contaminated water...ugh. I strip down completely naked when I use it so I don't wet my clothes. I have to wipe up the toilet, the floor and the sink after dealing with all of this and then Lysol everything down.
In a little over an hour, I have to be getting ready for work. I can't work with this feeling and I can't use a Sitz in a restaurant.
I'm afraid to use laxatives or stool softeners, as I mentioned before. I don't see anything, aside from Metamucil, that doesn't cause dependence. Maybe Miralax, but that stuff is intended to make you go often. :/
I've been pretty active today - cleaning after my 18 and 20 year-old PITAs. It was the pregnancies that caused this and now they're all grown up and can't clean after themselves. On top of that, back talk. I'm annoyed, can't relax - couldn't even eat my two freakin' whole grain waffles. My 20 year-old annoyed me so much, I just threw them away.
When it's time to go to the bathroom, I bring in everything. Lately my phone, water, my purse (so nothing gets stolen.) I felt a strong urge, started to bring everything in, but all it was was flatulence. And that feeling there's a rock in me. I never got my prune juice last night or prunes. Maybe I'll try applesauce before bed. I need this to be over. At the very least, I would like to know that this isn't going to be a permanent problem - these incomplete bowel movements. I have to much too do to worry about poop all day every day!
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Day 17: Yesterday was not a good day, mostly because of the behavior of my 20 year-old son. I have not shed a tear since the surgery, even in moments of intense pain, but I definitely broke down yesterday. I'll spare everyone the details but I ended up being all ready for work but not going (my boss is happy, though; she wants me tonight instead.) I did end up moving a lot of heavy stuff in an angry adrenaline rush and increased my bleeding last evening and overnight.
My morning urge took longer yesterday and today. I don't know if that's because my brain knew I had more time in the morning, but it definitely wasn't asking to be emptied out like Thursday and Friday when I had to work in the a.m. But STILL not complete! This part of it is driving me crazy, especially when I resort to the Sitz bath. (My tub is out of commission so that's the only way to use water to relax my body.)
I broke down and took just a little bit of Miralax last night. Maybe an 8th of the regular dose. Still had a slow time with the morning urge, but this time my stool was looser - too loose.
I called the surgeon's office and spoke to a nurse. She said to keep away from the Miralax and that everything else I'm doing (Metamucil, water, whole grains and careful diet) was the right thing. She said it could take a month from the day of surgery to be back to normal and that moving my bowels every day is a good sign. I told her I was afraid my body was developing a new habit but she seemed to feel very strongly that my system is still adjusting and I WILL be back to normal. I sure hope she's right! She did say to call next week if this is still a problem.
This morning, I moved a lot without a Sitz bath. Just plain old toilet. Also, I'm able to use toilet paper like a normal person! Well, almost. I still need a wipe, especially when my body isn't exactly done. I did try the Sitz bath after installment #2, but it didn't do anything for me, so I ditched it. I think I may try to go without it for the next couple of days. After 17 days, I really shouldn't be needing it anymore.
Yesterday, I used a Q-tip with some Vaseline to try to break up what seemed like a hard stool stuck in me. It eventually worked, and when done (for the third and last time of the day), I was finally clean.
I know I'm still complaining, but I have to say there's been a lot of progress. I have a sex life again. I do move my bowels, though I'm really annoyed by the "installment plan." I haven't leaked feces for about a week now. I've been gauze free for several days - a pad is enough and I don't have to change it very often. Right now, I'm feeling like another installment is in my future. I have to be at work in 4 hours and I have things to do before then so I'm going on the ignore plan. I'm going to shower, get dressed, go out and let my body signal if it wants to go some more. If so, great. If not, then I'm uncomfortable. Now, I just worry about my early mornings at the end of the week. Going to have to get up at 5 a.m. to be at work by 8. :/
My morning urge took longer yesterday and today. I don't know if that's because my brain knew I had more time in the morning, but it definitely wasn't asking to be emptied out like Thursday and Friday when I had to work in the a.m. But STILL not complete! This part of it is driving me crazy, especially when I resort to the Sitz bath. (My tub is out of commission so that's the only way to use water to relax my body.)
I broke down and took just a little bit of Miralax last night. Maybe an 8th of the regular dose. Still had a slow time with the morning urge, but this time my stool was looser - too loose.
I called the surgeon's office and spoke to a nurse. She said to keep away from the Miralax and that everything else I'm doing (Metamucil, water, whole grains and careful diet) was the right thing. She said it could take a month from the day of surgery to be back to normal and that moving my bowels every day is a good sign. I told her I was afraid my body was developing a new habit but she seemed to feel very strongly that my system is still adjusting and I WILL be back to normal. I sure hope she's right! She did say to call next week if this is still a problem.
This morning, I moved a lot without a Sitz bath. Just plain old toilet. Also, I'm able to use toilet paper like a normal person! Well, almost. I still need a wipe, especially when my body isn't exactly done. I did try the Sitz bath after installment #2, but it didn't do anything for me, so I ditched it. I think I may try to go without it for the next couple of days. After 17 days, I really shouldn't be needing it anymore.
Yesterday, I used a Q-tip with some Vaseline to try to break up what seemed like a hard stool stuck in me. It eventually worked, and when done (for the third and last time of the day), I was finally clean.
I know I'm still complaining, but I have to say there's been a lot of progress. I have a sex life again. I do move my bowels, though I'm really annoyed by the "installment plan." I haven't leaked feces for about a week now. I've been gauze free for several days - a pad is enough and I don't have to change it very often. Right now, I'm feeling like another installment is in my future. I have to be at work in 4 hours and I have things to do before then so I'm going on the ignore plan. I'm going to shower, get dressed, go out and let my body signal if it wants to go some more. If so, great. If not, then I'm uncomfortable. Now, I just worry about my early mornings at the end of the week. Going to have to get up at 5 a.m. to be at work by 8. :/
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