I have had physical therapy treatment for pelvic nerve pain with a pelvic PT specialist. Before the diagnosis of pelvic pain, I thought the spasms and pain were from my external hemorrhoids. I went to a colorectal surgeon, who advised me that I was having rectal spasms, dropped pelvic floor, and pelvic nerve pain. The surgeon sent me to the PT specialist, and advised me to have my internal and external hemorrhoids surgically removed after the nerve pain healed.

Now that the pelvic nerve pain & spasms are under control, I sought a second opinion about surgery from another well-respected colorectal surgeon. This surgeon advised me, no hemorrhoid surgery. Surgeon said, it's a horribly painful surgery, and the pelvic nerve pain and spasms could return. 

I don't know what to think, or do. My Grade IV external hemorrhoids are awful to manage and my quality of life is terrible. They hurt, they burn, and from day to day, I don't know if they'll be painful and or manageable. Daily,  I drink 90 ounces of fluid to keep hydrated, eat a high fiber diet, and rely on my stash of creams and laxatives to keep my colon empty and the stool from remaining in the rectum. 

I feel like I'm ready to go for the surgery, but so afraid that I'll chicken out. Here are my fears: I'm afraid of the complication of aggravating the pelvic pain and spasms. I'm afraid of permanent damage to the pelvic nerves. I'm afraid of post-surgery urinary retention and catheterization. (I think this is because early in 2016, I remember one rectal spasm where I could not pee, and that scared me terribly. Also, many years ago, after delivering three 9 pound babies, I had to be catheterized and it was a horrible experience. From my parents' history, I've got at least 20 more good years ahead of me. I can't imagine living like this for that long, or being elderly and having to deal with these hems.

Who has some words of wise counsel or insight? I welcome your thoughts.