My GF is not interested in sex

Lots of women have a lowered interest in sex compared to men. It is quite possible she has a low self image or lacks confidence in her body which leaves her feeling 'un-sexy'. It is possible she had a bad experiance with sex previously or was molested as a child.

THere is likely nothing YOU can do to change her current sex drive. Talk about it with her and try to find out if there is anything you are doing wrong or could do better for her to make it more pleasent or enjoyable. Failing that, make good friends with your hand...

You wouldn't be wrong, you'd just be barking up the wrong tree. It's not the kind of thing you can ask someone to do. You might as well ask her to love you more.



I get the feeling you're probably making the same mistake most young guys make: you are smothering her. You are inundating her with your desire to have sex to the point where she doesn't have the space to understand what she wants, and until she does, the last thing you want to do is pressure her.



A woman isn't just an object. She's not just there to satisfy you. She has her own desires, dreams, passions, fantasies, hopes, fears, wants.... You get the picture. Right now she's probably a little confused about what some of those feelings are because she's been too busy dealing with yours. Give her some space, be patient, and be secure in the knowledge that she chose to be with you for a reason, and that desire is probably still in there somewhere, but like everything else, she needs to reconnect with it. If you're lucky, you might find that some of those dreams of hers are pretty wonderful, and they just might include you, so let her step out of your shadow and stretch those wings. She might just take you with her when she takes to the sky!

So don't make a move. Let her relax. Wait.

if you've only been starting to do that and she already has the low sex drive, i'd give her the boot if i was you. That stuff just isn't going to change, one of my ex's had the same problem. I could get her off easily with oral, but when it came to actual sex there was nothing. I find some women just have to much on their mind and sex just isn't top of the list.

There are plenty of women that have a high sex drive, leave the low ones to the guys who need viagra.

The the Guest above me, you truly have a bad case on insensitivity; something we women rarely respect in any man.

My advice as an insecure female is, that you give her time. You talk to her, do nice things with her without expecting her to have sex with you. If I was constantly asked for sex, I'd definitely feel like I'm being used and that all of a sudden all shows of affection mean that I better spread 'em and quick!
And that is not flattering.
It's degrading. Horribly degrading.
She is not a sex doll, she is a delicate, thinking, feeling, living being.

If she simply has a low sex drive, you can't help it.
Nothing feels more uncomfortable than being pressured for sex when it couldn't interest you more. Would you like going to the ballet every day just because she wants you to?
I think not.

Best thing to do is to give her unconditional affection. Tell her you don't expect it, but you love her so much you'd like to connect on that level. If things don't work out on that level, or if she starts to shoot you down on other areas of life, you should probably have a discussion with her whether she wants to be with you or not.

Relationships are difficult.

There's another side to that. Suppose we were in a relationship, and you loved going to the ballet, but I told you that if you ever went to the ballet with anyone but me, I'd leave you. Then, every time you wanted to go to the ballet, I told you I was too tired, or I had a headache, or I just wasn't in the mood to go to the ballet. Maybe once in a while I let you drag me to the ballet, but I just sit there looking like I'd rather be somewhere else.



Wouldn't that be pretty unfair? Wouldn't you get sick of going to the ballet by yourself? Wouldn't you feel like you were missing something? Wouldn't you feel that I was being unfair?



I bet you would. And you'd resent me for imposing such an arbitrary, unfair restriction on your enjoyment. And that resentment would start creeping into every aspect of our relationship and poisoning it until the last vestiges of what used to be love have withered and died.



Or maybe you wouldn't put up with it. Maybe you'd say, to hell with it; I'm going to the ballet with a friend. I'll take every precaution to make sure he doesn't find out, but if he finds out, he finds out. Worst case: the relationship is over, but if I don't take care of what I need, it's doomed anyway.



That's basically the position I'm in. Sex is important to me. I still love my wife, but I am not ready for that part of my life to be over. I'm just not. It's my life, and this is the only one I'll ever have!



So I sneak around, having sex with my girlfriends whenever I can. I'm not even above calling a call girl to pay me a visit now and then. You can call me dishonest if you want, but if I told her she'd be miserable. I know she wouldn't be able to leave me but she'd be terribly hurt, and her life would suck, so I really hope for her sake that she doesn't find out.



So what is it doing to our relationship? It's keeping it alive--maybe even giving it a chance to get better. I don't need to pressure her for sex. I would be more than happy to oblige if she wanted to, but that just doesn't happen. But as long as I have my friends with benefits, the resentment is gone. If I call on a professional for an hour-long session of awesome, pornstar-quality sex, I walk around for days with a smile you could see from space. You've never seen a happier guy. But that's the only way I can be patient with her. It's the only way I can give her that "unconditional love" you speak of.



So, yeah, relationships are difficult. Sometimes you have to choose between love and sex, or give up total honesty to keep resentment from tearing you apart. You might think it's wrong, but I think it's wrong to say, "you can't play without me" and then say, "but I don't want to play." That's the same as saying, "you can't have a sex life," and that just isn't fair. It's too important a part of my life for me to give it up, and nobody has a right to take it away from me.



I don't expect you to change your mind. In my experience at least, people without sex drives are incapable of understanding why sex can be so important to anyone. After all, they can take it or leave it, and for some reason they seem to think that their diminished capacity for sexual pleasure equates to some kind of objective evaluation of the importance of sex in the grand scheme of things. It's not. It's a disability. Trying to explain the importance of sex to someone like that is like an audiophile trying to explain his zeal for high-quality stereo equipment to a deaf person. Actually, that's not completely fair because most deaf people at least make the effort to understand, if only on an intellectual level, what hearing means to a hearing person. It would be really nice if the sexually dysfunctional would show a little of the same empathy.

This is a good thing not a bad thing. You found out see does not like sex before the marrage. Imagine finding out after.