Hi, i'm a 16 year old lesbian in need of advice. I don't know what is going on... do i like my best friend? I've known her for 10 years and i don't know what to do... i'm always thinking about her, and whenever i'm around her my stomach gets upset and does flip flops, and i barely can eat or sleep because i think to much... do i like or love her or am i just going nuts or am i sick or something? Also i'm always watching what i do and i'm always worrying and stressed out and i'm always worried i'll do something wrong. What should i do? Am i just being a freak? lol. Oh and she's straight.... so what should i do?
%-) ?
%-) ?
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I think that if you've known her for so long and she is your best friend and she is straight, then you should probably just leave it alone. You don't need to take that chance with your friendship.
If you think she may have the slightest chance of being bi-curious, then maybe you could talk to her about how you feel. You could just easily bring up sexuality into a convo that you two have.
I know it can be hard at times and you think that there is no one out there for you and when you find someone you're so compatible to, it's hard to not make your move. FYI, I'm a lesbian too and I would be happy to help you with any other issues or problems you may have!!
Hope I've helped!!
--LinZ
If you think she may have the slightest chance of being bi-curious, then maybe you could talk to her about how you feel. You could just easily bring up sexuality into a convo that you two have.
I know it can be hard at times and you think that there is no one out there for you and when you find someone you're so compatible to, it's hard to not make your move. FYI, I'm a lesbian too and I would be happy to help you with any other issues or problems you may have!!
Hope I've helped!!
--LinZ
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mysticallangels
Here is what I wound do, talk to her, she must know that you are a lesbian by now that you both are 10 years into a friendship / relationship. tell her your feeling for her & why you feel that way. but not to that will not make it sound like there is only her for you, as there most likely a soul partner some where out there for all of us.....do you know what she feels for you, may be she wishes to tell you something of the same, or that she likes to be around males, but she is still your bestfriend, which says a lot about her friendship to you, and that is OK, by you.
so a question to you, how do you know you are a lesbian? and that you will change some with time? being with a female is not really a lesbian? but having feelings that may be normal to all of us at one point in our sexual lifes, any wishing to try them out is also OK , now days.
It is a question we all should ask ourselfs from time to time.
RT
Here is what I wound do, talk to her, she must know that you are a lesbian by now that you both are 10 years into a friendship / relationship. tell her your feeling for her & why you feel that way. but not to that will not make it sound like there is only her for you, as there most likely a soul partner some where out there for all of us.....do you know what she feels for you, may be she wishes to tell you something of the same, or that she likes to be around males, but she is still your bestfriend, which says a lot about her friendship to you, and that is OK, by you.
so a question to you, how do you know you are a lesbian? and that you will change some with time? being with a female is not really a lesbian? but having feelings that may be normal to all of us at one point in our sexual lifes, any wishing to try them out is also OK , now days.
It is a question we all should ask ourselfs from time to time.
RT
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If she's your good friend for ten years, does she not have some idea about what all interests you? Does she know that you're interested in women? That you call yourself a lesbian?
I agree that I wouldn't make a move until/unless you get some indication that she's bi-curious. The fact that you know that she's straight indicates you have some idea that this isn't going to work.
Keep looking, and, yes, Linz offered to be a sounding board for you. That's a really valuable think to have.
Good luck.!
I agree that I wouldn't make a move until/unless you get some indication that she's bi-curious. The fact that you know that she's straight indicates you have some idea that this isn't going to work.
Keep looking, and, yes, Linz offered to be a sounding board for you. That's a really valuable think to have.
Good luck.!
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Hello again. Thank you for the uselful advice and thank you LinZ for saying if i ever need any help with anything else. I was wondering.... i asked her about it kind of and i found out she is bi and i found out she likes me to... but... she said that we should wait until after high school... what should i do... i mean... like i don't want to lose her as a friend if in the future her and i did go out and ended up breaking up. Should i just tell her that we are better off as friends or what should i do? plz any advice will help. thx
Jess
Jess
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Those are hard questions.
It sounds like you've gotten some confirmation that she is bi but that she said she wants to wait until after high school. So, there you have it. If you want to explore anything with her, you'll have to wait. If you can't wait, break it off now. She's already given you her terms. RIght?
I'd just be her good friend for now, and wait and see how the two of you feel after high school is over.
But I'll yield to Linz as she's got more insight into these relationships than I.
It sounds like you've gotten some confirmation that she is bi but that she said she wants to wait until after high school. So, there you have it. If you want to explore anything with her, you'll have to wait. If you can't wait, break it off now. She's already given you her terms. RIght?
I'd just be her good friend for now, and wait and see how the two of you feel after high school is over.
But I'll yield to Linz as she's got more insight into these relationships than I.
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truth is i can wait for as long as she wants because i'm too scared to try anything but i like her a lot. thank you for the advice have a great day
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I understand why she wants to wait until after HS. I was that way too. I mean I flirted with girls in HS, but never pursued any initmate relationships with any of them. When I went to college it was completely different. I was no longer under my parents roof--who BTW do NOT in any way, shape, or form accept or approve of my orientation--and no longer under their financial support.
So maybe your friend has parents like mine or maybe she doesn't want it floating around school--trust me, news like that gets around pretty fast!!
Even if you two can't be together intimately yet, can't you still flirt? Not like MAJOR flirting, but just little things. If that's a possibility, I would do it, just to let her know your are still interested.
Also, if you were to date her and break up, it doesn't mean you can't be friends!! I am friends with almost every ex I have--I didn't mean to make that sound like I have a lot of ex's--lol. Some of them have even become my best friend. So there can still be a friendship after a break up, but you both have to be willing to make it (a friendship) work!!
You can always talk to me about anything--because, most likely, I've been there before!!
--LinZ
So maybe your friend has parents like mine or maybe she doesn't want it floating around school--trust me, news like that gets around pretty fast!!
Even if you two can't be together intimately yet, can't you still flirt? Not like MAJOR flirting, but just little things. If that's a possibility, I would do it, just to let her know your are still interested.
Also, if you were to date her and break up, it doesn't mean you can't be friends!! I am friends with almost every ex I have--I didn't mean to make that sound like I have a lot of ex's--lol. Some of them have even become my best friend. So there can still be a friendship after a break up, but you both have to be willing to make it (a friendship) work!!
You can always talk to me about anything--because, most likely, I've been there before!!
--LinZ
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yeah her parents are sort of like that i guess.... and my whole family is like that so yeah. and yeah i'm not in any way ready for a relation ship... i can barely handle getting out of bed in morning and getting through my day. Anyhow, i believe she can do way better than me. i just can't do it anymore. my whole family hates me... my whole family is religious and hate gays... i'm the only one in the family. i can't talk or tell anyone how i really feel and i'm sick of my family. ttyl bye
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mysticallangels you have me worried about you. Trust me, I know what you are going through!! If you would like to talk to me more, go under my profile and get my email address. I really would like to talk to you--maybe over the phone. No, I'm not trying to be sicko or anything like that. There are things that need to be said to you--things that you need to hear. I kinda feel like you need a mentor of some sort, but not just any mentor...one that understands you.
--LinZ
--LinZ
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It's not too hard.
Go to the SEARCH link at the top of the page--NOT THE ONE WITH THE BOX NEXT TO IT, but the one underneath the green "How are you feeling today?" thing.
From there, you type in my user name in the "Search for Author" box.
It will bring up all of my posts. My name should be "clickable."
Click on it and it will take you to my profile.
From there, click on the "email" button and shoot me an email.
Hope to hear from you soon!!
--LinZ
Go to the SEARCH link at the top of the page--NOT THE ONE WITH THE BOX NEXT TO IT, but the one underneath the green "How are you feeling today?" thing.
From there, you type in my user name in the "Search for Author" box.
It will bring up all of my posts. My name should be "clickable."
Click on it and it will take you to my profile.
From there, click on the "email" button and shoot me an email.
Hope to hear from you soon!!
--LinZ
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