Nearly six years ago I quit taking Lexapro cold turkey after I had been in it for 5+ years. I wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been for my then-boyfriend who believed that happiness that stemmed from medication wasn't real happiness at all. I had never been happier before in my life, & was dumb enough to do it out of fear of losing him. A few days after I quit, I experienced a living hell. I woke up every morning around 4 a.m. with what seemed to be panic attacks that didn't susbside until the early evening. I threw up everything I ate & was in a constant state of terror, begging my friends & family not to leave me alone with my boyfriend, who only told me to "suck it up". Finally, after my parents were made aware of the situation, I got back on the Lexapro. After a few weeks I was out of hell & stable. However, I never got back to the blissful state I was in before it all happened. After seeing several doctors & trying 14 different medications since then, I have yet to feel happy. No doctor could provide an explanation for me & I began to feel as though nobody believed me. I don't know if it's a completely separate issue, but I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder a few years ago. I am now on Lamictal, which almost completely obliviates my angry outbursts & also Lexapro (funnily enough). I'd say the most the Lexapro does for me at this point is keep me from crying all the time. I haven't been happy since I was 20 years old, & I am 26 now. I am not suicidal, but that is because I love my family & friends too much to do something so horrific to them as that. I try my best every day for them. I feel so alone in my situation. Has anybody else experienced anything similar? I don't understand how antidepressants could just stop working altogether for someone. P.S. My ex has since been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder & is on medication himself.