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Since I meet Carla I am happiest man alive. Before I met her, I had a lot of problems in my life - with gambling, alcohol, etc. She accepted me and she helped me a lot. She changed my life totally. That was three years ago, when I met her. Our relationship was like a dream, but suddenly she changed a lot. Her behavior was so insane. After consulting doctor, after he did some tests, my Carla was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I believed that I will be able to cope with it, but now I see that this is not true. It is hard for me to be with her. I am not happy, not even today on Valentine's day. How to be in relationship with someone who is having Borderline Personality Disorder?

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Hello Guest,

Nobody can really tell you how to be in a relationship with someone who is having borderline personality disorder, you have to figure out for yourself can you manage it and how can you manage it. Nobody here knows your Carla so nobody can really help you a lot. You need to make peace with the fact that Carla is suffering from borderline personality disorder and that the times are going to be rough for you two if you remain together. She is going to be depressed for no reason, she is going to have mood swings for no reason and if you can deal with that, then you might be okay.

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If it is time to say goodbye, then it is time to say goodbye. Nothing lasts forever, you had three wonderful years with each other and you helped one another during this time but if you cannot cope with this now, it is probably time to end it. People who are suffering from borderline personality disorder have a very hard time dealing with relationships because they are very hard to stand and they often remain alone in their lives. It is your choice and only yours, but I personally think that this is the end for what you and Carla had.
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If you firmly believe that Carla is the love of your life, then I can assure you that the two of you will find a way to get over all the obstacles that life has prepared for you. There is no stronger force in this world than love, love conquers all, it is the answer to everything.

However, if you are already having second thoughts about leaving your Carla, I suppose that it would be better to leave now than later. It is not easy to be in a relationship with someone suffering from this disorder and you will see for yourself the compromises that you will have to make in order to stay with her.

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It's hard, my friend. The worst type of personality disorder for dating is exactly borderline personality disorder. People suffering from borderline personality disorder have an enormous fear of abandonment and this fear is causing them a lot of problems. This fear will be the most common cause of all the drama in your life together. This fear might be that big that in the end she might be the one leaving you. I don't know if that is going to be the case with you two but that is what usually happens with people who are suffering from borderline personality disorder.
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Look, I was in the relationship with a boy who had borderline personality disorder. I really loved him, but like somebody already told in here - in those relationships it is time to say goodbye on time. I didn't do that. I believed that I am a super hero and that I can save him. From my own experience I can tell that this is not possible to save someone who has this type of personality disorder. So I really do know how hard is to be in the relationship with someone who has this disorder. It is hard, and now I am wondering was it worth of my time and my nerves? No matter how much I loved him, I think that I destroyed myself trying to change something that I can't. My advice is - give up on time.

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It is difficult. Loving and caring for someone who has borderline personality disorder it is like a ride on roller coaster. You have one safe route, next route will scare you totally and in one route you want to give up and to end this ride forever.

The same thing happens when you are in the relationship with someone who has borderline personality disorder. You can never tell what is going to happen next, how your partner will react to some situations or how you are going to react to several situations. So, I don't know. It is silly to tell you should you stay with this person or not, should you break up or not. 

You need to decide on your own. 

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Just like Hannah told you - it is like a roller coaster and if you enjoy the ride - than stay. But according to comments of people who have been in this situation and those are people that I do know, this is not pleasant ride full of adrenaline. 

It is true that nothing is that black, but it is not pink neither. You need to face with the fact that you can't deal with this on your own. Usually, people who are diagnosed with BDP don't want anyone's help and very often they don't want to admit that they do have a problem. 

That is why I need to tell you that this is very, very hard. 

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