Thanks to this forum! I spent so much time during my recovery period reading people's experiences and consoling myself that I am not alone. Hemorrhoidectomy is probably the one procedure that can take you close to death and make you want to die! A bit about myself. I am a 33 year old woman with 2 kids. Developed hems during my first pregnancy. It did not bother me during my second pregnancy and on and off would give me trouble. Earlier this year however I had terrible paid in the rectal area for 3 months this summer. Went to a colorectal surgeon who did a rectal exam and found a polyp. He recommended a colonoscopy. I was terrified about the polyp finding and was convinced this was cancer. Then went through the colonoscopy and the surgeon said he found another polyp just in the rectal area and diagonised rectal ulcer and that this was the reason for the pain. He recommended the hemorrhoidectomy and that it would let the ulcer heal and would be beneficial in the long run. I changed my diet and was all fine but scheduled the hemorrhoidectomy as a preventative measure for the long run. I read and read about the pain and was preparing myself for the worst. Surgery day was Dec 12, 2014 - Friday. Was at the surgery center at 6.15am. The procedure was scheduled at 7.30am. The surgeon said he would put me to sleep and I would get numbing medication that will last for 3 days...so good to be true. Anyways by 9.45am I was home and tried to get comfortable. Had soups for the first 2 days. Got Percs for pain meds. Wind was so much of an issue but the tub helped a ton. I also couldn't urinate and used the tub so much for the same. Then came the worst. Monday was my first BM - holycow! I thought I was going to die and I wished I would. I have never begged for death ever in my life like I did this first week of surgery. So the first 5 BMs were excruciating pain. Then week 2 was better but still pain was bad. However week 1 the after BM pain lasted 6 hours and week 2 it was around 3 hours. On day 13 I cried to the doctor for better pain meds and they gave me a different prescription. They also asked me to change the stool softner from colace to Senokot S. Let me tell you that Senokot S is probably the best natural stool softner and I feel comfortable taking it because of that. It helped ease the pain when going to the bathroom. I was bedridden till day 16 and couldn't walk much except going to the bathroom and back. Thank God for an understanding and patient husband who took control of everything else! I was able to walk a bit and be mobile starting day 17. By day 19 my mom came to stay with us and this has been the best decision we made. Now I have my mom with me who takes care of the kids and me. The kids and hubby developed flu right after she came and so this has been great help. Today is day 22. I am feeling better than last week. Senokot, along with a diet rick in veggies, fruits and spinach, lots of water, prune juice, coconut water all help. I did apply coconut oil on the gauze and used that to take the drainage. Coconut oil helps a ton with the swelling reduction. That was a relief. Right now I have a little bit of swelling left. I was off 3 weeks from work and extending my leave by another week. I am hoping I will get better by next week. The recovery is two steps forward one step backward type. I can sit and walk slowly. I am trying to be on rest as much as possible. I will have my mom to help me for another 2 months which is awesome! But I still feel only 65% ok. I feel like I should have been lot better after reading other posts but the doctor told me that my recovery is slow by a week suring my post op which was on Day 19. I still have pain and discomfort while going to the bathroom but nothing like the initial "I want to die" type pain. I don't know if it was worth all the pain and agony. Only time will tell. Yes it is much easier to clean down there now. I use warm water to keep clean. I know this is a long post but I decided to write just hoping my experience will help someone out there. This forum was my sole consoling friend whenever I thought of suicide. I would take childbirth without meds anyday...atleast in that case you have a baby to look forward to :)