Too late I researched patient accounts of their agony during the recovery stage of rectal prolapse and haemorrhoidectomy procedures. Not too late I saw that the 100 milligrams of paracetamol prescribed me as post operative pain killer was at best a gesture and at worst counter productive to effective recovery. So I hastily obtained a script for digestics and ramped up my resolve, meditation and other techniques to cope with the intense, intrusive and seemingly interminable pain that these procedures produce.
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So here are some suggestions for you to consider using to help endure the ragged edged and blunt ended, near molten steel, seven headed hydra rammed up your kilt that you’ll experience for at least two weeks post operation.
1. Exhaust all other treatment options and be very sure you understand the pain you will experience from rectal prolapse/haemorrhoidectomy procedures.
2. Make sure your mind is in a good place and that you haven’t reduced pain tolerance or restricted immune or recovery responses from recent illnesses or conditions.
3. Make sure you have waiting for you at home the scripts for the maximum painkilling medication available to you BEFORE you go into surgery. Any delay or hiccup in taking pain killers once you are home will be diabolical. You also don’t want to have to rely on friends or family members to go get the medication or have any delusion you might be able to transport yourself post operation to a the pharmacy to obtain it.
4. Nb Also prior confirm that the pain killers don’t interfere with your anti-depressants, heart, blood pressure or other medications and that your are not allergic to the painkillers. And have waiting at least two weeks supply of these other medications.
5. Likewise purchase before surgery stool softeners, osmotic laxatives, fibre supplements and haemorrhoidal cream and other skin soothers APPROVED by the surgeon/GP. The best creams provide local anaesthesia to you butt;
6. Also have probiotics and other good bacteria replacement yoghurts and tablets available as the antibiotics prescribed for the first week of recovery will upset the balance in your stomach.
7. Hire a sitz bath and buy refined not flake sized salt. Make sure the bath fits into the shower recess you will be using at home. You will become well aquainted with Herr Sitz Bath.
8. Don’t compromise and get one of those small pseudo-Sitz baths that fit over the toilet. You will want to be sitting in a full size sitz bath with running water available, preferably by way of a hand held flexible shower hose. I found squirting my butt with the cold water that comes when the shower is first trurned on helped numb the area with the warm water that soon flowed through helping ease the cramps and pain.
9. Don’t be fooled by mild pain during the first day or two after surgery. The anaesthetist likely packed your butt with slow release pain killers. Once they wear off, prepare yourself.
10. Try to have gas heated hot water or some other way of securing an endless supply of hot water. It won’t be beyond scope to use 2-3 hours of hot water a day.
11. If possible, try to bed down an effective, relaxed, healthy, daily and reliable poohing regime at least two weeks prior to surgery. You don’t want to be trying to overcome long term constipation, irregularity, diarrhoea, etc as well as deal within the pain and disruption these procedures cause. This may involve regulating your diet and eating the same healthy boring foods in the same quantity at same time every day for at least two weeks prior and two weeks after. This might seem over the top and way too tedious but you will be praying for a quick easy and productive pooh every day for some weeks after surgery.
12. Have a radio, music, meditation tapes, books, magazines, crosswords, a laptop, writing materials, tv, dvd movies, new batteries in the remote/s and mobile phone with heaps of credit and anything else that will distract you from the pain and fill the hours you lay writhing in agony;
13. Perfect your child birth breathing technique. I also found the ‘Mindfullness’ meditations and techniques helped, as did thinking about sex.
14. Sleep is good. Laying on your stomach is good. Imitating a dead insect with legs in the air also good.
15. Tea making facilities in your bedroom will prove handy.
16. Get six or seven large packets of sensitive non abrasive baby wipes and put a bin next to the toilet for collecting them once soiled. Get someone to empty the bin each day because it soon stinks. Very soft toilet paper also comes in handy to pat dry areas after using the baby wipes.
17. Book out your bedroom and ensuite and have your spouse, children and other members of the household understand you have first, immediate and hopefully exclusive right to use these parts of the house. NB Imperative your bed mate sleeps in the spare room or elsewhere because you can’t share a bed during recovery.
18. Invest in several different sized pillows and comfortable easily washed bed linen.
19. Bribe your youngest child to reheat the heat bag and swap over ice packs at a moments notice.
20. Also ensure you know how to use the room air conditioner if installed and that you have sufficient blankets and warm bedding. The effort of combating the pain can leave you intolerant of cold;
21. BTW I had bouts where my feet were like lumps of ice, regardless of room temperature. My theory is blood flow was concentrating on my nether region so no circulation to extremities like feet;
22. I found a swiss ball handy but didn’t have a donut (rubber cushion). I read with amusement another sufferer found the donut completely useless for their bum but damn handy as a head rest when laying in the bath. I sometimes used the swiss ball on the bed because I found laying on my back with feet and bum off the bed helped. By end of week three, I went and got a donut to help me sit for more than a few minutes.
23. Tee up your spouse, children, other family member, friend or carer to do daily washing of your towels, bedclothes and sheets. It isn’t so much that you soil them, it just reduces chance of infection and makes you feel good to use fresh clean things each day.
24. A starter pack of incontinence pads will give piece of mind once the worst of the recovery is over and you want to start walking to aid recovery.
25. If you are an atheist or agnostic, prepare to reconsider. If you believe in a God, make sure your account is up-to-date and in good order. However, not even God seems to have the resources to help.
26. Accept that there is no reset button and your decision to have these procedures stopped being reversible once the anaesthetist put the mask over your face.
27. Pay in advance all bills that will fall due during the recovery period in advance and clear the decks of all commitments and as many worries as you can. You will have no capacity to deal with these matters.
28. It does you no good to realise that you paid to have this done and it possibly cost a lot of money to experience some of the most profound, pervasive and prolonged pain you will ever encounter.
29. Identify a major reward you will treat yourself to once back on your feet. Dream every last detail of the pleasure this reward will provide to help you endure the pain.
30. Counter unimaginative jokes from siblings and colleagues like: putting a pile of trouble behind you; finally getting to the seat of the problem; don’t worry the pain will soon bottom out; with offers to provide signed photos of the affected area.
31. Have a small mirror handy as you need to check for infection and see what is going on. Be prepared for a shock as a large area around your anus will be black blue and/or red.
32. Write down as they emerge but don’t publish all resolutions, epiphanies and ideas for a better healthier happier life. Whilst many will be insightful and long overdue, the extreme pain may cloud your judgment on how best and when to action these resolutions.
33. Post feedback on buying and wearing a t-shirt that reads ‘I conquered old blood river’ so you can proudly display your ability to ensure the unendurable.
34. Don’t bother trying to find someone who has had these procedures done more than once. Most likely they are lying or had Alzheimer’s for some time. (Apologies to anyone who has had to endure this ordeal more than once for emergency or other unavoidable reason).
Yes I am a strong believer in The Lord God above,but what I was about to receive I did not expect.lets start....
Oct 2nd first day of short term disability ,use it if you got it.
Did a bilingual hernia operation,recovered nicely and 3weeks early,jumped into hemoroidectomy the next day.
Hit the brakes?too late.
I did it and was out of surgery center that afternoon,things went great,this is Tuesday.life is good lotsa sleep painkillers and water.fastforward to Saturday,1st bowel movement 4 dats after surgery,my life was completely changed,the pain was something not expected.i didn't prepare,my after anesthetic friend.he was proved to be a nightmare,I would not recover,I even asked God for help.it was long hard and mean as hell,and I screamed so loud that I cried.it really hurt me and left a mark.now it's oct 31,no tricking with my kiddos,8 days since surgery,and every BM hurts even the supersofts,today I laid on the floor and cried,my kids cried,it hurt to badly,a red hot poker in my bum that didnt go out,sitz didn't help,my butt holio is a mess,not even the shape it was before,a deformity.
Will let all know of rest of recovery.God Bless you all,and speedy recovery