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Hey, I'm 16 and I have had sex twice, however both times it extremely hurt. It was like a burning pain at my vagina's opening and I am really wondering myself if there is something wrong with me. This is not what I imagined sex to be like and I have talked about this with my friends, but they all said they totally enjoy sex and they didn't understand me.

Also, I should mention that I have never really fingered myself because I once again feel that pain (less than in actual sex but still not a great feeling) and I kind of find the feeling disgusting of having my finger inside of myself, especially if my nails touch and scratch the walls inside of my vagina it just freaks me out. I have tried fingering myself several times and I have also tried to use objects but that either hurt or just did not feel good at all and neutral. I honestly don't know what to do than not have sex anymore (which I won't miss to be honest)

Just to get that straight I do know how to reach an orgasm from my clitoris. However I want to get to know myself a little better and I want to know how to make myself feel good by fingering. I mean yes I am very happy just with a clit orgasm, but I mean if I can't even enjoy any penetration done by myself, how will a man ever be able to please me with his penis...


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Health Guru
9734 posts

Hi Katie, first of all lets start with masturbation, its good that you can achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation as that's the main area, even though the clitoris is small think of it as a rose an its stem, what you see outside is the tip of the stem travel down the stem inside your body you have the full bloom spread out what are all nerve endings what cover most of your vulva, labia, vagina and gspot, when you finger yourself do you use one or two fingers, are you turned on enough (wet enough) before you start, are you fully relaxed or a little tensed up because hour expecting it to hurt, have you ever tried to find your gspot when fingering yourself?

When you had sex was you relaxed, did you have plenty of foreplay first, was you turned on enough, did he use a condom and how big was he?

It's not unusual for a woman to not get much pleasure from sex or vagina stimulation simply because there are very few pleasure receptor's in side only the gspot, a lot find they need a position where they also get clitoral stimulation during intercourse.

Last question, have you ever examined you vulva an vagina entrance closely using a hand mirror?