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It looks as if I am in a hell's loophole. I make a few steps forward and then always a few steps more back :-( ! What should I do? What can I do? These fears come and go from time to time. When they are gone, I am like a normal regular person. When they hit me, it seems that I cannot do anything except trying not to burst into tears.

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Well, unfortunately, it does seem that you are having severe problems with fears/anxieties. My wife had same problems several years ago, she was stressful because of her work and obligations and eventually she had to use some medications and those did help her. But, at the end she changed the job and by eliminating the true cause of her problems, anxieties slowly subdued. I just wish you could do the same thing.
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