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My 16 year old girl has told me she's gay..... Now let me start by saying that I couldn't possibly care less that she's gay!! I came home from work one day to see her sat in the dining room with a very worried look on her face. She asked me to sit down. First it thought she had school problems! Then she said "dad, I don't like boys.... I like girls" and then she said sorry!! I said something along the lines of "why are you sorry?? There's nothing wrong with being gay and you didn't choose it any more than I chose to be left handed so don't be daft". She then told me she actually has a girlfriend.... I had noticed shed been spending a lot of time with a girl from school. I assured her that she's always welcome in my home and that neither of them should feel awkward. And she introduced her to me and my wife about a week later. I think they make a nice couple... They look very cute holding hands while watching movies!! The problem is her grandparents......my parents. They are very much against homosexuality. They even threatened to disown me if I ever "chose" to be gay or "allowed" my kids to be gay!! My daughter loves them so much that she doesn't want to hurt them by being honest about who she is. So she wants to live the lie. I'm so against this that it makes me angry! Why should she have to lie to them? If they can't accept her for who she is then surely they don't deserve her in their lives? My wife wants to just tell them and if they turn their backs then good riddence! I agree.... My daughter doesn't. She's begged us not to tell them. If I work at her I know I can change her mind..... But should I? What would you do? Thanks for reading, any help would be great.

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I know that parents are scared that this is going to happen one day, and they do believe that they will fall on the exam. It is not easy to say how to deal with teenagers, right? I understand that you are shocked, but now I have to be really realistic - there is nothing much that you can do now. You can talk to her, believing that she is experimenting with this and who knows, maybe she kissed the girl, she liked it, but you need to be aware that kids in that age can experiment. Don't forbid her anything, because you can only make it worse and she can disobey you and she can do some silly things. You don't want that. The truth is, if she is a lesbian, you can't forbid her to be a lesbian. I know that truth might hurt you, but that is the way it is. One day she will leave your house and she will do whatever she wants to do. It is an indisputable fact. 

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Hello Gaz

The correct word is Lesbian relationship - trust me, nothing wrong with that. As for your parents, they grew up with their own set of right and wrong - it will be difficult to expect a change in their attitude overnight or accept that their grand-daughter is a Lesbian. They may express their emotions, let them do so. Bide your own time, break the news slowly. They love their grand-daughter don't they? They will understand in due time, maybe want to meet her partner. It is the fear of unknown that gives deep seated fears and anxieties.

I am confident that they will understand and accept the relationship. If you do not tell or rather tell a lie, it is gonna hurt even more. Hope you undersand. Good luck

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Good on you for being so supportive - what a great parent you must be.

Let sleeping dogs lie. Your parents won't be around forever, and if the cat is let out of the bag, then deal with it then. Older generations just sometime don't know how to deal with all the change that has taken place, so give them the space they need to deal with it (or just keep it quiet)
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If it was my daughter, I will always encourage her to tell the truth. It is up to her grandparents to understand. If they love her, they will eventually understand and come around. The old school psychology of our parents/grandparents makes them rigid and stubborn when it comes to accepting change.

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