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okay so this isnt the usual i watch alot of porn and have ED because of it, ive looked into that, the first time i was getting head and we tried sex and i couldnt get it up with the head either, but the 2nd and 3rd time when were standing up and making out im fully hard, then we lay down, and there no chance, and i knew we were going to hangout so i layed off the porn for like a week and everything, but we layed down and i couldnt get it up at all and we were making out naked and i was fingering her for a long time, and then we got up, and i kept making out and i started getting hard again, so we quickly layed down and i thought it was hard enough to put in, then my phone rang and it went away

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Maybe your just not ready :)
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Maybe it's God's way of saying: don't.

I think you are just thinking about it too much and you are killing the moment, in your head.

Try to relax and just have fun with her and let her have fun with you.

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