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So, I'm 18 years old. Perfectly healthy guy, circumcised penis. Ever since the 5th grade, which I was about 11 years old, I have been masturbating.. pretty much every day, few times a day. I started to watch porn frequently about a year or two after I discovered masturbation. Recently, about 2-3 weeks ago I stopped to about maybe once or twice a week. I just got into my first sexual relationship with a girl I truly love. I always thought everything that had to do with sex was going to be easy, but guess not..

My girlfriend and I are still virgins. In her previous relationship, she has only got fingered and gave a ha****b. In mine, I have gotten a blowjob and fingered a girl. Thats all. Our first sexual contact was me just playing with her vagina and fingering, which then led on to me preforming oral on her. This had a few days period in between. She was nervous to do anything to me because she thought she would do it poorly so I did things first to make her more comfortable. Last week she decided she wanted to give me oral, so she did. But for some reason that REALLY frustrated me I couldnt get fully erect like I used to, usually its 7-8in and Im barely pushing 5-6in and its floppy and soft. I used to be able to just be next to her and get easily turned on. So I thought it was because of all the masturbation and porn ive watched.

I layed off of all that for about a week. I was getting very anxious to finally see her and do stuff because I didnt see her throughout this week and was able to get fully erect while she was away, so we were both excited. She came over, were laying down, flirting, snuggling, making out, things getting hotter.. I'm fully erect and ready to go. I preformed oral on her and messed around, and when it came down to my turn to get pleasure I just could NOT get fully erect again! Only halfway, and it took a while for that to even happen. I dont know what to do!

 I know it is most likely because of stress because I have been stressing a lot about a job, at home life, school, my relationship. Because I cant be scared about performance cause I was able to make her orgasm. I would also like to add, the day after she first gave me a blowjob, I got mononucleosis. So maybe that could be affecting it? Even though Im feeling a lot better now.

I HONESTLY dont know what to do, I tried relaxing myself and focusing and it didnt work. This was pretty much the third time it happened. I love her so much and dont want her to deal with a guy who cant even get it up.. Please give me your opinions or suggestions on what I can do. Thank you very much!

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I'm not 100% sure but it cud be because your thinking about it too much so your like paranoid about it , gotta boost ya confidence up again play with her a couple times in a row and dont let her play with you go "blueballs" for a small while and just go for the sex straight off just throw it out there
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what do u mean by blueballs? btw I had the same issue with my girl friend and shes my first and i love her very much but the same case like how it happened to Idontknow1994. It was first time sex for me and my girl and we both had tried 4-5times of foreplay while after a quite while i got stiff and erect and started to penetrate into her vagina, till few moments of thrusting and all that it just suddenly gets soft and soon i realize it was back into default form... I felt disappointed and worried since its not just once but these 4-5times of sexual intercourse..` my girl started worrying about it , i was worried as well since this is a huge obstacle in our sexual life style that i cant ejaculate into her since everytime i put on condom and starts penetrate into her, after few minutes of in and out it suddenly drops soft.. I really need some help here`..

by the way during masturbation everything was right, stiff and erection has no problem or any at least so far as i concern..

but once it gets on sexual intercourse, it just doesnt feel any like it..
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Your problem is the amount of Porn you use and at such a young age and the fact you use it a lot before you ever have sex with a real women.

Using porn constantly and masturbating to orgasm changes the brains reward circuitry to find the dopamine hit from porn and no longer from women which is its natural wiring. Your brain will no longer send erection signals to your penis when you are with a women because the porn circuit provides more reward.

Search on the net for porn induced erectile dysfunction and you will find all the answers you and many other guys struggle with which is now a recent problem in the last 5-10 years due to high speed internet and easy access to free and bizarre or weird porn.

Your brain constantly wants more dopamine so you find yourself eventually looking at porn that would previously turned you off but the shock of it gives you that dopamine hit and in turn gives you a good erection.

There was no such thing as erectile dysfunction in men under age 40 until the last 5-10 years. And under age 20 is completely unheard of and is a rising trend.

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Dear I Don't,

First you need to see a doctor (a urologist or an internist who specializes in E.D.). As a therapist this is ALWAYS MY FIRST RECOMMENDATION. You MUST make sure your equipment has no circulatory problems. If you get a clean bill of health, then it's time to sit down with a good Sex Therapist. A good Sex Therapist should get you look deep into your psyche and see what makes you tick sexually. YOU NEED TO DO MOST OF THE TALKING. Sure the therapist MUST be an EXPERT on Male Sexuality, but he can't just rattle off one method after another for fixing this problem. He may indeed pick up on the things you reveal to suggest what YOU might find enlightening about yourself, AND FROM THAT, he may give you some useful advice.

Hopefully, if you are in good sexual health, he will ask you about the new and different sexual techniques that really turn on your fantasies. Think about it. What "Sex Stories" get you off? I rather believe they aren't stories about mushy love and very typical sex as described in your Biology Text Book. Most guys are embarrassed about what really gets them going when they're masturbating alone (P.S. you could try masturbating in front of each other....... but NO TOUCHING each other....... concentrate on YOURSELVES.) I could go on for pages, but first I desperately need to talk with you and probe those things you love to daydream about, but haven't told anyone. If you are in good sexual health, then it's time to tour "No No Village," the place where sexual dreams come true (they never involve hurting someone against his/her will). There's so much to be said about these problems.

When I lecture to groups of college guys, their top questions involve: The size of a "normal" penis? Does size count? Do all men have times when they can't get hard with their partner, AND is this normal? And the list goes on and on. What's kind of amusing is that when I lecture to groups of FEMALE students, the girls want to know all about the boys..... how long? how wide? how long does sex take? Will boys really say that they love you, just to get sex. The funny part is that GUYS WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT THEMSELVES........ how long is normal? how wide is normal? how often, per day, is masturbation normal? How long should I try to "last" during sex? How many times can a guy cum during one sexual interlude (and how long should one last)....... etc. This always makes me smile.

controlone
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Hi,
This is what you do, it is goign to sound strange , but try it anyway. Write why you believe you NEED to have an erection, what Happens if you do not have one anymore.
Let me give you an example, .........your mind going....... you are not a man anymore, you are weak, you are stupid, you are a dumb ass..... she's going to leave you.... you'll never get a girl anymore..., and you feel humiliated.., feel smalll....etc.....
So, you do that ...write it all down , it's painful , but through all of those fears... you will start healing , you might shake a little bit , have cold sweats ..etc... but gotta continue.....and get what the thing is actually if you release most of the fears related to it ... and even Accept to be " Humbled" , humiliated a bit ... , Some Power will come through you..., all The Energy Trapped in thoes Fears ...will release itsself....
Buzz me if any more question .
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you over masturbate. you should masturbate once a month . if you have control of yourself quit masturbating and try to get fit and healthy like play sports and go jogging
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