My editor (wife) has pointed out the plentiful typos in my last few "blog" entries. Obviously the copious amounts of lortab and valium has affected my spelling, and making use of the spell checker has been fairly low on the totem pole ;-)

Woke up at 5am feeling very drugged for the first time. Up until now, curiously, I have felt very little effect from the medications. Ate a bowl of fiber-one, some wheat toast, and canned peaches. Don't know if it is the medication, but some foods taste a lot better. I thought I was eating cinnamon toast, it was just plain ole toast though. Colors on the high def tv seem more vibrant also. Too a hot sitz bath, 2 cups of epsom salts and a bath as hot as I could get it. Managed to take Jessi (dog) for a walk, in my fugue state. Nothing like walking the dog while drunkish. The bidet arrived in the mail! Managed to get it installed up to the point where I realized one of the screws that holds the toilet seat is not long enough. My brother is coming over after work to fix that up. "Borrowed" my wife's toilet seat in the meantime, and boy, a hot water spray down there sure is relaxing.

Still no BM, and thankfully, no obvious pain, just discomfort. I can see why people have posted here that the sitz baths (two cups of epsom salts and a full, HOT, bath) have been most helpful. After a good 10 minute soak with the bidet I really feel like I could go, but no action. Was told to wait 24 hours to remove the dressing. It appears they didn't bother shaving me too well, and those of you who know me well, know that I am basically a hairy beast back there ;-) Soaking in the tub took care of the dressing with no pain. My discharge papers tell me if no BM in 2 days to take 2 oz of milk of magnesia. Of course, the measuring cup cap is in tablespoons, I am assuming 2 tablespoons will be close enough. Passed out for a couple of hours after the bath and woke up sans the fugue state, so feeling a little better. Every 12 hours I end up having to take a lortab and valium at the same time, which completely knocks me out, so I think I will start staggering that by an hour of so. Finding myself to be very forgetful also, probably the medication. Thank goodness for the most wonderful invention of the last 10 years - the DVR. I find myself blanking out and having to rewind to catch up on the excitement I "missed" on the TV.

Anyhoo, so far so good. A few more pointers... The portable heater in the bathroom is extremely helpful for those 5am baths. I am finding that when I awaken from my drug induced stupor, no matter what time it is, I am suddenly completely awake. Not much to do at 5am other than worry about impending pain, so baths in a warm bathroom are great. Another pointer, keep a tool around that helps you reach things. I am using some kitchen tongs, very handy for reaching things on the table next to the bed. Particularly when attempting to lean causes pain. The third pointer for the day :-) If you feel gas coming on, get in a hot sitz bath. It starts to hurt, but only for an instant. And the fourth pointer I forgot to mention on my pre-surgery shopping list: Wal-Mart super center carries a sort of plastic mattress cover, definitely worth it, just in case nasty stuff starts oozing about. Mattresses tend to be expensive ;-)

A pleasant surprise this morning... My boss and another coworker drove out and dropped off some flowers ;-) I live out in the boonies, where no delivery service ventures (even pizza delivery), so it was touching that they went through the trouble. Of course when they knocked on the door I thought they were Jehovah's witnesses, who tend to be the only people who venture out here from time to time, so they missed seeing me in my fugue state. Probably a good thing, heh heh.

Anyhow, to summarize: Not a lot of pain yet, which I assume is from sticking to the medication schedule exactly as prescribed, no matter what, and the frequent sitz baths. I tend to be a bit obsessive when it comes to preparation, so I think it has helped me to feel things are "under control" with the overabundance of supplies. And of course, the wife who has been unfailingly supportive and empathetic...

Now all I have to look forward to is the looming BM, which is what a lot of posters here have described as "more painful than childbirth". Hopefully the valium will help me not get too worked up in the anticipation of that...