no detox just stop

im 40 years old and like most im on op drugs since 15 ive lost my sistere her husband and 7 year old child to this i start meathadone 15 years ago and at the begriming i abused it by going out and taking smack on top of it any i work in a very big hospital here for three past 11 years none has a clue Jim on this i would never take anything from the job my job there is the only thing keeping my head together Two weeks ago i decided on a rapid detox just coming right of take 3 weeks of work and the program in Ireland is ok i think but i had gone though WD so many times in cold dark cells in prisons over the years i said f/i let s go for it i was really bad the first week my doctor was giving me 70mg a day but i was topping and having 150 .
I don't rememberer fist week i was so fcukin sick last week i was so bad i went back to theand said how heavy this sh*it was and he gave me DF118s dyhodcondine so all this week im sick sick but not as bad but this week there all gone i picked up some sleepers to tie my over it s sososososososososos hard its thought of doing all the crazy sh*T
i know know if its easier to do out in the nick cause your in the cell F/A im still up all night . i have to admit at the stage my legs and arms and the heads are the one i wish i had a cure for the legs lol
im back in work monday wont even have the energy to walk up the ward .
Thanks guys for listening to my waffle and a big sorry for the had writing its one AM and im still in a heap #

have my post have just disapeired it was the part about me being 40 and on H AND MST 200GM each fix