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Despite my trying, my life just seems to go no-where.
Take my job situation. I've had so many jobs over the years but never kept a fulltime job for more than 4 years despite working for 17 years. The last 3 years have been on and off due to harsh reccession climate. And non of the reasons for me losing these ample jobs in the past have been my fault.

I've been redundant since december 2008, and have just done occasional part time and agency work. It's been good in  a sense that it's given me time to explore careers and do some training, so I'm not the sort of person that'll sit around do nothing about it, but it's just that everytime I think i'm getting somewhere I just fall. My biggest issue is I need money.
I'm an artist so I try to make money out of that. Out of all the galleries in the country I picked to give my work too, the one I picked shuts down without telling me and disappears with two of my best pieces totalling nearly £1000. I've traced him but I owe him money apprently, so thats getting expensive, and I don't have job at the mo, so I'm broke. But I need the pictures back to make money.
I could make good money out of my art, but I need money to do it, and I don't have it, and I can't concentrate on art whilst ever I feel crappy and stressed.
So I have to bin the art idea out of the window for money making.
I try ebay. But everytime I sell something to gain abit of extra cash something has to happen. I sold an item for £40. The next day, my adaptor burn't out, costing me £41. Later that year I made £80. The same day I went out to my car a massive crack had mysteriously appeared on my windscreen.That cost me £75. I sold an item later that week for £90. It apparently got lost in the post, and Ebay refunded the money back to the guy.
Am I jinxed and just not destined to make money? Even my dad when I told him that I'd sold some stuff  on ebay remarked "Somethiung is gonna break soon then". Thats how it's got.
I bought a car just before I was made redundant. I paid £3000 for it. It was 7 years old, ran like new. I owned it for 4 months, the engine blew on it. The seller held no responsibility for it, and it cost me mega bucks to get it fixed, and I made a loss on it when I was made redundant. It cost me all my savings.

I now also do volunteer work whilst I'm job searching so I've gotta try and get a new career.

My volunteer work is for a major organisation and I'm hoping to get a career change out of it. So far it's been good. They've tried to show me lots of new skills, teach me things, and have made me feel generally good about myself by entrusting me with jobs that aren't usual volunteer jobs,and I've felt this past year that I'm getting somewhere in life for a change with a career I actaully want . They've even offered me a potential job as one of the paid memebers of staff had left. So all that seemed great.
BUT, after a meeting a few weeks ago with head office, the managers of the site where I do my volunteer work have suddenly stopped training me and sort of returned me back to basic jobs. They've not said anything to me but they seem to be edging further away from helping me despite them saying in the past they really appreciate my help and used to ask me if I wanted to do extra work out of the usual volunteer chores. I have a feeling the head office have told them they shouldn't of let me do all that extra work. But still I feel as though my life is slowly slipping back into deadendness and I've been teased a career that I feel as though I can't have now.

Regarding the paid job where I do my volunteer work that they offered me, it turns out that the man has returned, so they won't be needing me yet. . . Another blow.
At the moment I'm desperate for cash.The manager of the volunteer place said he would try and get my work contract in last friday so he can pay me for the odd bit of paid work I did whilst that man was away who's job I was supposed to be taking over. The manager ended up sick and missed the deadline for the contract. So that means I can't get paid now till next year. It's depressing me. Why do all these things keep going wrong?The girlfriend works all hours. I've no friends and family here, I'm isolated in a town with little happening.

I just want some friggin money and job I actually enjoy for a change instead of all the unstableness, and a feeling of zero prospects. Everything I touch turns to sh*t.
Am I just trying to mess with fate? Is my attempts at bettering myself a waste of time? I dunno. Even my girlfriends tells me I'm jinxed, and one of the unluckiest people she's ever met.

All this above is just some of the odd coincidences that knock me down, and some of the bad luck.
I know alot of you will say, stop being so depressing, but I can't help it. I look at the people in my life and see how stable they are. Some of them are really wreckless with things like money,and just seem never to fall and breeze through life. I've always been carefull, and have always wanted good things, and I get nothing but sh*t.

At the moment, I'm living off my girlfriend, 80 miles from my friends and family, with no friends or family here, no job, my parents send me money when they can't afford it either which makes me feel shitty. I've a car that falling to bits thats nearly undrivable but I can't afford to fix it.All my job seekers gets swallowed up by debts I've built up over the past 4 years since I left work sick.

 I dunno what to do!!!



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Wow! You really are down on yourself!

You tend to have what is known as an 'external locus of control'- you seem to blame luck, coincidences and circumstances for your situation, rather than looking at what control you had over them.

None of us are in a good position financially- we're in a recession; it's hard enough to get a job when you're NOT picky, but it sounds to me as if you have high expectations & criteria for a potential job. And it also sounds as if you've taken the knock-back from the volunteer place, quite personally. Perhaps they're not in a good financial position to take you on as a paid member of staff- and thought that the tasks you were doing, should be done by the person who's actually being paid to do them!

You need to take control of your life again. How many times have you put your C.V out in the past few weeks? How many work agencies have you signed up for?

It's great to say you would like a job doing what you love- wouldn't we all! But the fact is, is that life isn't that simple; you work to pay the bills- you do things you like in your spare time. If what you like doing makes you money- then great- but you shouldn't put your life on hold for a dream. The bills don't go on hold. Thus, perhaps your art and the hope of making money from it should be a lay-by ambition; stick it on the back burner & get on with trying to find a real job. Minimum wage or not- it's money in your pocket & it's a darn sight better than claiming Jobseekers allowance.

The guy that run off with your pictures...did you check out his credentials before you placed your trust in him? If not- let it go. Whether they are valuable or not- if you didn't find out about the person you were trusting, then put it down to a mistake. It doesn't sound as if you will get any joy any time soon- so is it really worth the anxiety? Did you not make copies of work? And also have you sought legal advice regarding the matter? Even through the CAB, so it's free?

It's not bad luck, coincidences or anything else- it's called Life and frankly, I think you should be happy that your able to get up in the morning, feed and wash yourself, have the CHOICE to go and look for a job and still eat at night. People forget that job or no job- we're pretty bloody privilaged in this country.  

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