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A quick history...and i will try to be completely honest..the ex mother in law started giving me oxycontin 5's and 20's like candy back in '07..i would sell them for her and keep a few..now before this i never really took a pill..in 07 i was 33..on rare occasion for dental reasons but never for recreation..now because of other stupid drug choices(snorted some coke with ex brother in law) my ex wife and i were on our way to being done..i guess you can already see that i have an addictive personality..i smoke pot..dont really drink much..i have tried almost everything except heroin..i do have some limits..after high school ('93) i had a 6 month habbit with crack..i was 18 and stupid..i got out of that life because i knew where it was headed...well here i am at 38 and have been taking viks and percs for about 5 yrs now...the oxycontins were too much..didnt like the nods...anyway..i am perscribed 120 5's a month because of shoulder issues..but they never last more than a week..all the other days i just buy from wherever...it is about 100-200 $ a week...when i can find. I have a wonderful wife..and two sons...12 and 18 mnths...now she doesnt know i take them..i have kept many things from everyone to hide this secret...i want to be done!...i know this isnt a couch for spilling out my problems..but i need to get this out. I basically kept taking the pills to cover the pain of divorse..now it has consumed my life and i hate it...i took my last 10 mgs of vicodin last night..and i vow to never take again for recreation..

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just wanted to say good luck . Find the strength and courage you have inside to rid yourself of these soul stealing drugs that control every waking moment. I have been free of opiates for six months now, our stories are very different, took mine for chronic pain but didn't work in the end just made me feel really ill and dead inside . Sounds like you have reached a place where you need to get your life back and you sound like you have a great reason to. Pity you can't tell your wife you're going to need lots of support. if you want drop me a line on how your doing. Keep smiling and if i can give you any tips on how i managed it feel free to ask. 

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I appreciate yur response...its the end of day 3 for me...i havent felt too bad today..went to my sons hockey game..then to my sisters for a birthday party. It was good i kept busy..have been taking vitamins and water,water,water..i read that hydration is key...thank you for yur concern..i will keep updating..it is important that i see my progress..im now just trying to change my behaviors..
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Hi there,

Hope you are still being strong and positive that you can still achieve all you want. It is great you are distracting yourself that will become one of the most important keys to sucess in the coming weeks. Your mind will try everything to persuade you to start taking drugs again make you forget how awful they have made your life. The next few months will be so hard but you can do it ,takes more strength than most people realise but getting your life back,well, what could be a better reward?

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Thank you very,very much for at least keeping a virtual eye on my situation..it makes it a little easier knowing someone out there cares..its day 7 for me without anything..i did take loperomide to help with the aches..after much research i found this to be the most helpful..ALOT of prayer also was important for me..ive been taking vitamins and just trying to do things a little healthier..eating better..lots of water..my mind is a bit rapid at times with the thoughts of trying to rationalize why just a couple wouldnt hurt..but i immediately try to think of other things..its tough, but the Lord is seeing me through it..i have a friend here at work that is 53 days clean..he is also keeping me encouraged..one day at a time is all im working on..thank you again for yur words and thoughts....God Bless...:-)
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Well done you !seven days is brilliant! First you will count in days then like me in months. To start with try and get through each hour seems more managable like that. You must research P.A W.S this is what makes most people fail. I am still suffering from this one day life feels so much better and then it hits hard ,real hard and I am in a dark place but I do not give in and somehow stay strong and in control and it passes and I feel alive again. This journey will be tough no doubt about that, those drugs have made your life so miserable but you still can't imagine life without them, trust me you can live a drug free life and it will be a million times better than the one you have beeen living. When you have been drug free for a while the sunny days will seems brighter, the birds song will seem louder and more beautiful and you will feel a happiness you don't need to get from anywhere else except deep inside of you.

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Im on day 9... today i feel like total c**p..of course it was 83 on wed..and its barely 50 today...i feel like someone kicked the c**p outta me...woke up at 6:30 this morning..legs,back,neck,everything hurts...but i will press on...had 4 people txt me today about havin...i deleted them all..i am so determined to do this..Lord please take these pains away!...God Bless all
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Ugh....my legs feel like someone beat them with a baseball bat....sux..its been 10 days...wasnt ready for this one...
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On day 11...legs hurt and headache all day...i know its just my body tryin to go back to normal...its been so long since it was normal...over 6 years of opiate abuse will really f@#k things up...took some tylenol..just went to store and got some alkasetzer cold..gonna take a hot bath in a bit here....its only a moment...thats what i keep tellin myself..i dont believe i have cravings anymore...i just think of all the horrible stuff i did over the years to keep a pocketfull of pills....ridiculous , the stuff that i did...
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Hi there,
So pleased that you are still staying strong and determined I know from experience that it is really tough when you start going through withdrawals. You can and will get through this if you refuse to give in. Just keep in your mind how much better life will be without having to think about drugs all day long. You will feel so free like a dark cloud has left you. I know you feel like you have the flu right now, you feel agitated and restless but keep going it will start to ease after a while. Eat some carbs before bed and drink lots of water two litres at least. I came clean firstly for me as felt awful but I also did it for my family and that kept me so determined not to fail. I was not a nice person and they deserved more than that. Think of every day clean as a small victory in your fight.
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Well it day 14!...2 entire weeks since ive had any type of opiates...i woke up today feeling great..i just endured a 5 day migraine( usually get 1-2 x's a year)..started friday morning..finished up last night..i have got them for many years now..so i can map them out time wise almost exactly..i think tho that it was also the final push of garbage out of my system..i have not been opiate free for this long in over 6 yrs..with alot of prayer and water/vitamins/fruit...i think that im physically free!...im proud of myself!!..i thank the Lord for the strength he gave me...now i know that the mental side of this addiction will last for awhile..but in all honesty..i have absolutly NO desire to use!..its great..i have so much positive things in my life that i think they all will help me to stay strong..i even got to see my son score the game winning,overtime goal at his hockey game last night!!...it was fantastic!..im so ready to embrace everything ive neglected for years now..i will continue to post about my recovery as often as possible!..thanks to all who read thru my struggle and responded!..and i truly hope my words will help someone else to gain the courage to beat their demons!..
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hey,
I'm really pleased for you that you have come this far in beating you addiction I know you are feeling a little euphoric at the mo, Please be prepared though for the next stage as believe me it is ten times harder than the first stage. Soon every waking moment your mind will be trying to convince you to take opiates.It will try anything it can to make you start using again. You won't be able to think of anything else almost to point of insanity. You can get through this I have and so can you. Write a plan on how to get through. when that voice wont shut up distract yourself any way you an. Music, reading ,friends sport anything.I am nearly seven months clean I have no cravings but P.A.W.S still plays a big part of my life. I wish you strength and courage over the next few months stay in control and be positive you can beat this for sure.
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Today is 21 days since ive taken any type of opiates!..i feel really good the past few days..althought from 2 fridays ago until this past monday (its wed today)..i endured my worst migraine headache ever...it last on and off for 10 days..im not sure if its a tension headache,cluster?,...or i think i might have a pinched nerve in my neck..however, i took nothing stronger than excedrine..and my wife gave me a couple midol for the muscle relaxer in it..the best thing i could have ever done was get off of those damn percocets...i honestly have no physical cravings..and to be honest, no mental issues either..i understand the whole P.A.W.S. thing..and i am on my toes ready to deal with em..but with vitamins, alot of prayer, and tons of water/gatorade..i am completly free of narcotics!!...i just need to start exercising a bit more and continue to make many little life changes..if i can do this, ANYONE can....i would be glad to help out anyone in anyway i can!...
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Hey,
How is it going?
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All is well..it is 34 days since anything...now i still smoke pot..but i always will..so i guess im not totally drug free..but i dont consider pot a drug..just cause some as****e fed in the '30s listed it as a drug..but it did wonders for my recovery..i still have no energy..but i also dramatically cut back my caffiene intake..used to dring like 2-3 pots of coffee a day..im down to like 3-4 cups..but life is deffinetly better opiate free..i still think about em on occasion..but it passes quickly..thnk you for yur support..and for checking up on me..God answers prayers!...
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