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I recently started seeing a new guy and we have great chemistry.  Sparks flew from the second we met and we can't keep our hands off of each other.  I've never enjoyed making out with someone so much--he's a great kisser.  The problem, though, is that when we're together and try to have sex, he can't stay hard.  The first time, he had been drinking, so we assumed that was why.  He had an erection initially, but then we started to have sex and it went away.  So I gave him oral to get it hard again, but then as soon as we tried again, the same thing happened.  Even in the morning, it wouldn't get or stay hard enough to do it. 

All this week, he constantly told me how he couldn't stop thinking about me and couldn't wait to see me and have sex with me this weekend.  For the last two days, he walked around with a constant erection (even sent me a picture to prove it).  He talked nonstop about how it wouldn't go away and how he was going crazy just thinking about being with me.

Then when we finally saw each other (this time both completely sober), he couldn't stay hard AGAIN.  So this time I gave him a blow job and instead of just getting him hard, I "finished the job," and he was able to get off. 

So, I'm just confused.  Does anyone out there have any suggestions?  I guess it's probably performance anxiety?  Any ideas on what to do to help us get passed it?  I don't want to make him feel bad or embarrassed about it.  I like him enough that I don't care, but I do have needs!  I want him to feel comfortable and I want to try to figure out if there's something I can do to help.  I hope I'm not the problem!  He seems to be attracted to me, at least when he's thinking about me, but then when he's with me.... nothing :( 

Is it nerves... or is it me???  Any suggestions would be appreciated!


Hi Guest,

It sounds like performance anxiety like you said. You need to reassure him when having sex (moan alot, tell him how good he feels and how amazing he is at sex). He'll soon enough stay hard long enough to please and finish.